To think it's rude to grade women on attractiveness like this?

[dairymilklover]

Is it rude to tell a woman another woman is more attractive than her?

A new woman has just started in my office. A man said to me 'you don't need to worry about any men chatting to you when she is around, you'll be left alone now'

I don't want attention, and I am no fool who thinks I'm the best looking woman around. I like a chat with colleagues, nothing more. But I don't like to be compared to other women - I don't compare myself so I hate it when others do it. I never look at a woman and think I'm more or less attractive than her, it's damaging to do so after I suffered self esteem issues my whole life.
It also seems very sexist and the insinuation is that men will only chat to women because they're attractive - as if nothing else matters. Maybe I am overacting but the comment has offended me on many levels. Do I need to get over myself?

I’m one of 3 sisters and used to get it all the time. From a very, very young age actually, from both men and women. I’m sure if we all moved in the same circles we’d still get it even though we’re all in our 40’s now. Who gives a toss which sister is the best looking or which one has the best legs etc.

Everyday sexism. Rude man. Also he was wrong - men don't chat up women based on attractiveness, they do it with any woman regardless because it's an ego thing

Sorry meant to add: Yes it’s disgustingly rude, op.

get typing that email to your Manager ASAP, would be interesting to see how this pans out. Good luck OP

Completely inappropriate in the workplace. It simply wouldn't happen in my (small) company and would be a disciplinary in DH's international company.

OP, I would escalate this if possible, although I appreciate that it may not be that simple, depending on your office culture.

Moronic man. Ignore him.

Rude and offensive to rank colleagues like this.

How disgusting. Why are we still expected to tolerate these comments from men in the workplace or anywhere else for that matter. Were you expected to smile sweetly and thank him for his groundbreaking insight? No he just decided to insult you because he could. Revolting. I’d report it.

What you said was perfect and much better than "did you mean to be so rude?"

He's a fucking twat. I'd report the knobber for sexist and inappropriate behaviour, seriously.

A woman in my own has just discovered her fiance was cheating days before the wedding. It had been going on ages apparently but all anyone can talk about is how attractive this poor woman is, as if that matters a fuck. ".... but she's sooo beautiful"

I'd be horrified if people were reducing me to my looks like that and I also think it's a pretty dim view for the rest of female population who've been fucked over or cheated on!

Its offensive, both that he is comparing looks, and also that he only thinks people are worth speaking to based on looks and not personality or, you know, work reasons!

If you do will you keep us updated btw, this type of shit drives me insane.

@RepeatSwan
It's not rude and insensitive

It unequivocally is

Every office I have worked in has always had a 'hot or not' list and has graded women 1-5 on attractiveness. Sexism is alive and well

He didn't realise? Is he a special hire?

^^

Absolute gold.

Next time tell him that.

Can you imagine it, another man walks into the office and you say "gosh your dick looks small compared to his". Why was it ever considered ok to compare appearance?

^

This. THIS

It wouldn't surprise me to find out that you are particularly efficient and effective in your role and he is slightly intimidated by this. His solution is to try to bolster his self-esteem by insinuating that the only attribute that counts for women is sexual attractiveness and that you are not up to the standard of this new woman.

He has been feeling resentful of you for some reason and there's no more to it than that. His judgement is certainly not to be trusted.

It wasn't a joke, he didn't realise he had said something offensive until I pointed it out.

Yeah right. Or rather, he didn't expect to be called out on it, because he thinks it's his right to make uninvited comments abput women's appearance and attractiveness. What a twat.

I hope he felt embarassed, what an idiot

Thanks for the not so subtle insult. Who the fuck does he think he is?!
Men who insult women like this rely on their victim being too embarrassed to formally complain.
It is also a subtle way of setting women against each other. Don't let him do that.

@growinggreyer

I would never speak to that man again. Cut him dead, he is a maggot.

Yep, pretty much.