To say I don't quite get the hatred for Gina Ford?

[wineandwhining]

So, I have been given a copy of the Contented Baby and the weaning book, and came onto MN to do some reading and realised that you cannot even mention her? I ebf my DD so definitely don't stretch her feeds, but the naps we adhere to quite well.

I see on here lots of divisive feelings for the woman but after reading her books and getting my girl into a good routine, I don't get the controversy.

Can someone explain it to me?

I have a 2 year old. I've heard new mums quote this book, eager to get their babies "trained".

I think tis a load of bollocks. Am I allowed to say that?

This is MN so you aren't allowed to like Gina Ford. You have to cosleep at night and during the day you wear your baby in a sling while you get on with things. You definitely breastfeed and probably had a lovely calm planned c section. This is the MN way from what I can tell.

@Plesky 🤣🤣

@KetoPenguin would be great eh. "Buy a house, the market isn't going to crash. You'll just end up fucked by multiple landlords. Stop worrying about Blair; no one will give a crap about him in a few years. Your man on that American reality show on the other hand ... Buy bog roll! Now and forever."

Her style is very regimented and strict, I like to use her routines and adapt them to be more flexible.

@Arthersleep I’m a nanny and I use her routines but I adapt them. T

Not letting yourself go

I thought she was fantastic. All the mums I know who followed it had happy babies who slept through the night well. It definitely saved my marriage. It also was really helpful to realise quite how long you needed to breastfeed in one stint to fill the baby up. I still have kids who go to bed (9 years later!) without any drama and I am convinced that the all, non interruption method that Gina advocates from the beginning is the key.

I loved the book, I needed the structure. But I totally get that it doesn't suit everyone, some people hate how rigid it feels. For me it gave me a focus for each part of the day. When DD2 turned up I got the book back out, sort of adapted it but didn't worry about sticking to it exactly, again it's worked for me. I hate it when people tell you GF is the worst/ best thing. It's just what works for you, so it didn't work out for some, well that's fine. Others it works brilliantly for, great!

@wineandwhining Back in 2005 she was "all the rage". The problem seemed to be that the general consensus was her way was "the" way to manage a new baby and everyone was doing it successfully. If you weren't, you were somehow a failure (and it must be because you weren't sticking to the routine, following it properly - you were doing something wrong it it. would. work!).

It wasn't written for breastfed babies. All I remember is trying desperately trying to follow the twin routine - despite breastfeeding premature twins, I was supposed to get up well before the babies woke so I could be dressed and breakfasted before they needed to get up. When they were both starving hungry, I was supposed to feed one for 5 minutes, stop, put them down and feed the other for 5 minutes before stopping with that one too and then going back for top ups. Lets just say that was a joke wasn't terribly realistic.

And to add if you actually read the book, Gina herself advocates flexibility in her routines which were a guide. I found I had much more time to have a life as I could predict what would happen when.

I also exclusively breastfed, and her rhythms worked super well for me - I know lots says it’s only useful if bottle feeding.

I was given the GF book as a gift by a well meaning relative when DD was born.

I flicked through the first couple of chapters and laughed at the absolute pile of rubbish I was reading. Threw the book in the bin and carried on as I was.

The fundamental issue I had with the book was the ridiculous schedule. The only routine I ever had was there was no routine. And never, ever wake a sleeping baby.

DDs dad worked shifts and I was working full time. DD just went along with whoever was around to see to her needs. She was the most contented happy baby and slept brilliantly. Nothing that I did or that any book could make her do in my opinion. Babies just do what they do.

As an aside I can't stand it when people have to rush off or can't do something because it's 'out of routine'. IMHO if you bend a little you realise just how flexible you and your baby can be.

Pretty much what Arther and Africa said, really. I know her system works for some parents, but it really didn't for me - and the people for whom it did work seemed so very smug, and essentially said that it must be my fault for not doing it right. That's not a supportive approach to take for any new mother (it's also what a midwife said to me 'No wonder your DS is back in hospital, you're not feeding him right at all!')

But we do have to be careful what we say here...

I did a mash up of Gina and the other one, Tracy?

Worked a dream.

I also did a mashup of Gina and Tracy.

My twins had different routines and I was falling apart between them.

I managed to get them on the same schedule and keep my sanity. There isn't one right parenting answer but a lack of routine was breaking me.

I found it quite useful, I ignored the bits I didn't like and just used the more practical tips around expressing and the general idea of setting up predictability. I also read Dr spock because it was my mother's, and Penelope Leach. All useful.

Worked for me. I was back at work when DD was 4 months so really needed to know what was happening when.
The childminder or nursery follow a routine so once they're in childcare they do same as the other babies.
I used to love 2 hours lunch nap & the fact they went to bed 7ish-7 with no fuss.
The no eye contact is just for night time & obviously would not be the case if they're unwell. It's just to distinguish between wake time & sleep time.
Personally I find the MN users who are anti routine, anti bottle feeding, pro co-sleeping & sling using quite vocal. There's no correct way. I don't find people who are routine based anywhere near as opinionated.

Tracy Hogg, The Baby Whisperer? I used a bit of both too. She had a forum too that I was member of and i used to use the EASY routine. She had a TV show as well

@pumpkinnose yeah I often think I must remember it wrong, because I remember loads of useful ebf stuff and nothing about not feeding them on demand! And then everyone is like oh my god you can't do Gina Ford if you breastfeed. Oh well!

Have I stepped into Stewie Griffin's time machine?
This is a blast from the past.
Gina Ford made no sense to me. But I liked her toilet training book. That was a good one.

@Paddybox

I have a 2 year old. I've heard new mums quote this book, eager to get their babies "trained".

I think tis a load of bollocks. Am I allowed to say that?

Yes you are because it is. And GF came across as an insecure bully (in my opinion).

But I don’t agree with the super nanny ‘naughty step’ either.

Woaaah time travel!

I joined in um, 14 years ago? And she was SWMNBN even then! And threads got zapped quicksmart!

Someone let me that book (my boss!!!) and I saw get up at 645 and something or other and thought fuck that and never opened it again

I found the other one, um, with play eat sleep or something a bit more to my style!

This is all out of date now isn't it? And it's attachment, free range, vegan cosy, no idea what the trends are.

In the end I took some bits and pieces and did my own thing. And FWIW. We're just monkeys, in the end. There was a prog on about a zoo earlier and we were all ahhing over a monkey with a newborn. She protected it, cuddled it, groomed it and fed it.

I followed monkey method when I had newborns. Anyone can feel free to write the book

Any system that tells me when my baby should sleep is no good in my opinion. I had thought I would be a routine-person until I actually had the baby. Agree with pp it seems a better system for a nanny than a mother.