No visiting anyone
No walking out with 500 metres of your home and not within 600 metres of the nearest other person.
No toilet roll - you will have to buy tracing paper like they did in the old days. But you can’t go to a shop, so book an online delivery slot for 2023
Children should not mix with other households but can go to school and mix with 60 other kids.
You can only
Go to the shop to buy washing powder for the unexplained phenomenon of increased clothes washing due to not going out caused by Covid.
Everyone can go to b and q and buy enough wood to build another granny flat in their back garden.
Anyone who wishes to do so can have their entire house remodelled during lockdown because they can totally afford iron furloughed wages but can’t afford to pay for food and will use food banks. Then talk to the papers about how hard it is.
You can go to the pub with anyone you want but not with members of your immediate or extended family because that’s dangerous.
Everyone is entitled to free washing machine repairs due to the inexplicable number of disposable face masks clogging up
The motor even tho no ones going anywhere and you can’t wear them in the pub cos you’re drinking.
That annoying family down the street can have as many parties as they want and can flout all the rules cos “ Fuck Covid it’s all made up anyway”
Police can stop and search everyone but. It within 100 metres of each other.
That family down the street can let their dog shite all over everyone’s garden cos you’re not allowed to touch other people’s pets and you can’t go within 500 metres of another person, and those big hard men will always stand 501 metres away while they explain to you in the queens English why it’s ok for their dog to do that.