Hidden account in my name

[Hungryforchocolate]

Ok this is potentially a long one and I am torn with a moral dilemma by letting bygones be bygones or claiming what is apparently mine.

When I was younger my parents set up a bank account with a high street provider which was all christmas money/birthday money/communion money etc. You get the drift - all money went into it. It was a children's savings account in the name of one parent. My mum.

My parents divorced when I was 10 and it was messy. My mum hid accounts including this and had my Dad cash in an endowment policy he was paying with the aim of being handed to me in later life. It would have matured cric. £90k and mum had him cash it in for £1600. There was a second one for my younger brother which also was forced to be cashed in at £1200. The relationship with my mum has never been great and she has always been money orientated. When I got a Saturday job at 15 earning £30 a week in the local hair dressers, she took 50% so £15. When I got my EMA once attending colleague she again took 50% - this was never put into the house for food so I found myself either buying my own or going round relatives/friends for dinner most nights. I moved out at 17 and been private renting since. I would occasional pop back for her birthday/mothers weekend etc as she was still and is still my mum

My mum sold the family home last year and I put on a postal redirection on the house to forward post in mine and my brothers name to my new address many miles away from her. My younger brother at the time was travelling around Asia so my address was his base.

I received a letter from the bank address to MUM RE Hungryforchocolate and also another MUM RE Hungryforchocolate's brother. I opened both as both my brother and I share initials and it didn't have Miss/Master salutation. The letter was regarding a children's passbook account which apparently was going down in interest with the same bank we used to go in with our birthday money to. I have never had an idea about these accounts were still open and when checking their website, it said it should have been transferred to the child at 18. That was approx 10 years ago for me so I visited said bank who wouldn't tell me much about the account because it was not apparently mine yet has my name all over it but the lady informed me, my brother and dad apparently both of us children are mental incapable hence they have never 'matured'. She did say the amount in there was 'potentially life changing' and confirmed they had been open since each of our respective birth years. Probably said too much but it was enough to confirm this was the same account we once deposited money into when younger.

Now my dilemma.

My Dad wants me to proceed to freeze the account in my name, my brother to do the same with his, and subsequently have the funds transferred over. He is being very persistent on the matter which hasn't help as my DP and I have been looking to buy a home. My brother has said we will put the funds from both accounts together and split 50/50 as one account may have more than the other. We don't know the balance but the life changing comment was made by the bank as I said in there the drama/stress this will cause is not worth it if its say £1.00

My Mum in the politest way will absolutely flip at me. She already sends me very distressing texts telling me she wishes I would die, wished she never had me, how nasty I am for minor things like not bringing her a second birthday card two weeks after her actual birthday where she got one because I was the 'only' person not to bring one to her party. She is hard work that I am very much LC as much as I can be due to her moods and the abuse I receive when things are not exactly as she pictures. She will also attempt to turn her side of the family against me and the pain this will cause my grandmother will be heartbreaking as my mum will make her choose between daughter or granddaughter.

I have confided in another family member who is very familiar with my Mums moods and treatment towards me but also the divorce drama of hiding money away. They have said whilst the money is in an account in my name, it does not mean it is money for me and could be a way of my mum hiding money away from her new partner. He is just as bad as her to be honest so a match made in heaven but doesn't make what she has done/doing right.

Do I:

• Ignore the issue altogether. Whilst the account is RE me and apparently I lack mental capacity (which I don't!!!) it has nothing to do with me. [YABU]
• Freeze the accounts to the source of the funds can be established/evidenced in statements to show it was money from when we were children. [YANBU]

The way it is going, which ever way I go, I will potentially get merry hell from one parents towards me. Dad will calm down after a while as he will respect my decision in time but my DP believes my mum will need to be completely blocked/NC as she will never forgive, understand, forget or be calm.

If I go to freeze the accounts route, what an earth do I need to do or how do I do this? I have all the court documents from their divorce where she said these accounts 'no longer exist'

ARGH.

If the bank say the account was yours but your mum looked after it due to your mental capacity it sounds like an enduring power of attorney. It’s been a while since I dealt with one (former front office bank worker) but they cannot be dissolved but the named person (ie, you) on the account. This sort of thing is normally seen when elderly relatives have dementia and children need to pay their bills and make sure they’re not withdrawing money for fraudsters.

I would advise you to call the bank and make an appointment before going in else you’ll likely be disappointed. Say you think this account in your name has been fraudulently set up with a POA, you want to know their policy around removal. You may not be able to find anything out. But they can tell you what to do next, which may involve solicitors.

OP. I’m not sure but ineouod wonder if the bank will write to your mother about your enquiries. I also wonder if the funds are “life changing” amounts, what the interest annually is and should you have been reposting this to HMRC - ie, has your mother potentially caused you a tax liability? I think it’s interest over 1k that needs to be reported. Not sure.

Could you imagine if you needed benefits and then later this account was found in your name? Could that cause you to be considered benefit fraud?

Is your mother doing this to commit benefit fraud?

These are some things to think about and make sure you’re not tarnished by her actions.

So freezing the account while you investigate further is really a prudent thing to do. Fairly certain your brother needs to deal with the bank about the account in his name. Might be worth investigating if he can give you power of attorney if he’s travelling/abroad.

Best of luck to you.

I'll tell you, I'd have no problem freezing any bank account if the parent was going around telling people I was mentally incapable. Whether I intended on keeping the money or not. Fucking cheek! It's worth the row.

I would get proper legal advice. If the account is a trust then your DM potentially has to only use the money for your benefit. She will have certain duties as a trustee and lying about your mental capacity would appear to be incompatible with those duties.

@magvdamme

Working for a high Street bank if the accounts were opened in you name and are yours from 18 regardless of who put the money in or not legally that account is now yours aslong as you can provide identification. The same as some people open accounts in their child's name to avoid paying tax ect. There isn't any reason why the bank can't provide you with balances or details of the account. With the mum issue she wouldn't have a leg to stand on legally if you closed the account. I think you are best off all sitting down and talking it through and hopefully coming to a mutual agreement . Good luck lovely xxx

It bears quoting again as people are seemingly still advising OP incorrectly.

Get some legal advice and get your money

you need to be a bit sneaky. You need to get the banks to freeze the acounts before your mum is told/discovers them.

So I would ask for a meeting with the bank. Explain the situation and ask them to freeze them so that no money can be put in/removed until it is solved.

Then, as the perosn on the account, as for a summary of the account's activities. This will show you when money was put in and out,
Eg if a large sum went in at the time of the divorce, that was obviously her money, hidden in the account.
In that case, I would want to return some/all of that to her.
if, on th eother hand, it is a steady stream of money, which looks like your birthday.christmas money, then it is yours.

@AdobeWanKenobi yes but that information is incorrect if there is a POA on the account or similar.

[quote MsEllany]@AdobeWanKenobi yes but that information is incorrect if there is a POA on the account or similar.[/quote]
There can’t be a POA etc on the account though as the OP hasn’t granted the mum a POA. If the accounts have been kept under the control of the mum due to the OP and OP’s brother’s “incapacity” then the mum has committed fraud and the bank has questions to answer as to how that has come about as surely the mum couldn’t provide any standard information to evidence that (think OP mentioned that the bank also thinks the DH is incapacitated?! That should have rung some bells “Yes, these two accounts held on trust for my children can only be dealt with by me for 31 years because both children are legally incapable of dealing with money”...”Ok. What about their father? Shall we make him a trustee too?”...”No, he doesn't have legal capacity either”...”Fair enough”).

Also, if she is a trustee on the account then it is highly probable that the money does belong to the OP. You need to know exactly what the terms of the account are, but trustees rarely actually own the assets being dealt with. They have various duties and obligations but they don’t actually take ownership of them.

Yes I know I mentioned in an earlier comment it would be hugely fraudulent if the mother had gained POA due to diminished capacity, which is the only way it could be done without OP’s agreement. Pretty sure a solicitor has to be involved but am hazy about the details.