To ask if you would report benefit fraud?

[namechanged102]

Name changed.

Me and DP have a friend who recently reconciled with his ex. She was a single parent who hasn't worked because she had her first DC young.

Said friend does earn and has moved in with her, however she is still claiming as a single parent and pretty much everything is paid for - rent, council tax reduction etc.

They seem to be living such a comfortable lifestyle, they recently got a new car and have had numerous staycations. I feel like it isn't any of my business what they get up to, but me and DH work full time and still can't afford anywhere near the lifestyle that they lead. It just seems a bit shit.

AIBU?

It's no longer really easy to take applications for benefits. I have reported one person for falsely claiming when they were working. When we first of married we rented out a going to students. Yes, we declared it as income. One dropped out and started claiming but his rent was never paid , I initially reported him to housing benefit and asked for it to be paid directly to us due to non payment. Not long afterwards he started keeping regular hours and one day left son stuff of his in the kitchen, and sitting on top was his business card. I reported him when I next got into work. Th moral of the story is don't try to work the system when your landlady works for the, then, .DHSS

I think that if you do report her, you should own up and tell her. There’s something a bit icky and two faced about reporting a friend and then being nicey nicey to their face and pretending to know nothing about it.

It's not about jealousy, though, is it? It's about fairness. OP and her partner are working their arses off and not being able to afford any 'treats'. Her 'friend' is defrauding a system to ensure she CAN enjoy those things. Benefits are for people who need them. Not because you fancy a bigger car and a nice holiday, FFS.

@funinthesun19

I think that if you do report her, you should own up and tell her. There’s something a bit icky and two faced about reporting a friend and then being nicey nicey to their face and pretending to know nothing about it.

Agreed

Report, wouldn’t if someone was really struggling and had been dealt the shittest of hands in life.

I'd report without hesitation as it's fraud. Up to the authorities then as to what they choose to do.

It isn't right but neither is your friendship if you are willing to do that. You should speak to your friend if you are so concerned. Tell her how you feel and ask if she is planning to stop the claim. Tell her it makes you feel uncomfortable.

Nope none of ur business. Stay out of it. U don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors. Or if he’s gonna walk again and leave her with nothing her kids

Snitches get stitches, mate.

As a tax payer, yes I would.

It’s hard not to be jealous when you feel that others have it easier than you. Believe me I’ve been there.

But no I wouldn’t report them, as frankly it’s none of your business.

It's fraud

@StepAwayFromGoogle

It's not about jealousy, though, is it? It's about fairness. OP and her partner are working their arses off and not being able to afford any 'treats'. Her 'friend' is defrauding a system to ensure she CAN enjoy those things. Benefits are for people who need them. Not because you fancy a bigger car and a nice holiday, FFS.

That’s jealousy. If you’re looking in someone else’s pot and comparing it to your own and thinking about reporting them based on the fact they have treats and you don’t, that’s jealousy. Redirect the rage at the big companies who don’t pay their fair share of taxes or the MP’s claiming ridiculous expenses instead. But no, you’ll focus on the people you see around you because that’s what they’ve trained us to do because then we don’t watch them 😂

I could never report someone just in case they were doing it out of desperation or as a result of abuse. For example, a family with lots of “treats” might, behind closed doors, have a man who’s spending his wages on all sorts of fun stuff and the woman is claiming benefits because she doesn’t know how to stop him or how to leave him and is desperate to pay the bills and feed her kids. Or he’s forcing her to claim so he can have lots of extra money. Because when a couple get caught, it’s always the woman who is punished because the benefits are always in her name as the “single parent”.

Moral of this story, is that you should keep your cards close to your chest. People need to stop telling people their business, even so called friends.
As others have said, if you feel so strongly about what your ‘friend’ has done, tell her that you are going to report her.
However , you won’t will you.? You will just smile in her face and offer her tea and sympathy when her benefits are removed from her. You may even give her the odd tenner to ‘help’ her. All the while feeling great, because she won’t be able to buy a new car.
I despair

@JamieLeeCurtains I reported her for tax evasion AND benefit fraud. Of course it was benefit fraud when she was pretending she could barely walk and definitely could not work. She lived on her own so no other money coming in.

I knew what the outcome was because she told me and DH.

You obviously don't believe me as you think you know it all.

Just how is my narrative mangled?

@Hokeywokey I'd rather be called a thief than a nosy malicious reporter

Surely you are not serious? You would rather be called a thief that report someone who is committing benefit fraud?

You may think that makes you some sort of saint but it really doesn't.

Yes I would if they’ve been together for a while now. It is stealing.

I'm totally appalled that people are saying no don't report, you are only jealous.

We have such a skewed idea of benefits in this country. They are there as a last resort when you end up on hard times to keep you fed, watered and w roof over your head. They are not there for a jolly life and a top up for life's extras.

FFS, tax payers are paying this. It's not free money, it's one person working to give money to another. If someone is fraudulently claiming that it's theft.

That’s jealousy. If you’re looking in someone else’s pot and comparing it to your own and thinking about reporting them based on the fact they have treats and you don’t, that’s jealousy. Redirect the rage at the big companies who don’t pay their fair share of taxes or the MP’s claiming ridiculous expenses instead. But no, you’ll focus on the people you see around you because that’s what they’ve trained us to do because then we don’t watch them 😂

Ironically you sound so much like someone who is on benefits themselves and are jealous of well off politicians.

If he's only moved in since covid, she might be waiting to see how the relationship goes before giving up her financial security, his job may not be as secure as you think. I understand it is fraud if she is indeed claiming funds she's no longer entitled to, but as it's a friend and these are uncertain times, I would feel inclined to stay out of this one.

@areyoubeingserviced

Benefits are not there to allow you to buy new cars or holidays. If people want those they need to get off their backsides and work for the like we all have to.

Benefits are to cover basic living expenses, food, rent, bills etc as a short term measure to allow people to get back on their feet. They aren’t supposed to be so comfortable as to be more a lifestyle choice or long term option.

Obviously I don’t mean disability benefit, which is long term.

If we all just ignored it, people would just do what they want and claim benefits for everything! I would report it

I think things have changed with Covid. We have taken on a debt that all of our children will be paying off for the rest of their lives.

I was pleased about the furlough scheme until I heard about the extent to which it has been abused.

I agree with pp that the benefits system needs to be rethought. Yes there are people with disabilities etc who will be on benefits all their lives. But for everyone else benefits needs to be short term only.

I'd report it in an instant. And judging from some of the responses there are obviously lots of Mumsnetters out there fiddling the system.

If it’s early days I don’t blame her for seeing how it goes.

If he leaves and she out in a new claim she’d be on UC, which can be a big drop in benefits.