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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To miss out on this show as I don't want to wear a mask

209 replies

Witterywoman · 18/09/2020 07:42

DD and I (along with friend & her DD) were due to see a West End show we'd been wanting to see for ages. It was cancelled due to Covid. We then bought tickets for a drive in version of the show which was cancelled last minute. They've now announced a limited run of the show later this year. I was initially excited thinking 3rd time lucky but my heart sank when I read all the inevitable "Covid safe" blurb about masks, sanitising and temp checks. Sent it to my friend anyway who was "urgh no thanks". She then added we'd probably get cancelled again anyway! Although I would love to see the show I too don't think it's worth the hassle. DD & I hate wearing masks for any length of time so to wear for an entire show plus the journey into town would just be uncomfortable & depressing.

I know it's good to support the arts but I just feel sad about the whole thing. We"ve tried to go out and do normal things like go out for meals, to attractions etc but just feel sad at the reality at how far from normal things are and don't feel I can be bothered trying anymore.

No point to this really, I know why these measures are necessary but just feel so sad about it all and long for it all to end. I find seeing masks everywhere so depressing! Unfortunately reality has dawned that we may be living like this for a very very long time Hmm

OP posts:
SmileyClare · 18/09/2020 16:57

Dinosaur I'm really sorry. I honestly am not directing my suggestions at you because you find wearing a mask deeply distressing. I don't think that's pathetic or weak at all. I think the nasty attitudes you have witnessed on social media are not representative of general public opinion.
Please be kind to yourself Flowers

Chocoqueen · 18/09/2020 16:57

I was going to say that my decision would depend on the show and how much I wanted to see it. But I saw upthread you said it was Six... so in which case I would say GO!! it's one of the best shows I've seen (and I've seen a lot). Honestly it's amazing. GO.

NameChange84 · 18/09/2020 17:00

I’m still Shielding as much as I can but if I wasn’t I’d go to Six and wear a mask. In fact, if they introduce the same day Covid testing that they are trialling to allow theatres to reopen then I will go and see it at The Lowry if my medical team are in agreement. It’s only an hour and fifteen minutes and the surgical ones (which I’ve been recommended to wear by my cardiologist) aren’t that difficult to breathe through. I had to wait for a medical procedure in a waiting room for hours with one on and forgot I was wearing it after while, although I do always get nerve pain (neuralgia) a couple of hours later in one side of my face/temple due to another condition.

The way I’d look on it would be that I could miserable stuck in at home doing nothing or I could have a night out and see a fantastic show and have a great time and boost my mental health. I was lucky enough to get the cinema to myself today and it’s done wonders to pick up my low mood as I actually got to do something normal for the first time since Feb. If you’ve not got any medical or psychiatric problems around wearing a mask, the “miserable” feeling is just a mindset thing. So try and shift your perspective and participate in life a bit more...maybe try and see the mask as a “passport” or a “ticket”, it’s what allows you to go and watch a show or gig or go to the cinema etc. As you say, they are around to stay so if you’ve no medical or psychological problems you do need to try and adjust if you want to be out and about. For the vast majority of people, and it sounds like you are one of them, it’s really not that big a deal to wear a mask.

loulouljh · 18/09/2020 17:00

I wouldnt go. It is supposed to be a treat. A treat is not sitting there wearing a mask. That would outweigh any pleasure for me.

stopgap · 18/09/2020 17:09

I’m pretty shocked at the level of mask objection in the UK, tbh. Most people where I live even wear them on the street—and this is in America, where I’d assumed anti-maskers were far more prevalent. I don’t think it’s such a big deal for the vast majority. Even my 6- and 9-year-old wear them without objection for hybrid school.

loulouljh · 18/09/2020 17:14

We are allowed to object. It is not a virtue to go around happily wearing them!!!! This is really getting to me. We are allowed to dislike them. It is a valid sentiment. We are allowed to make choices based on whether or not a mask is required. It may not be a dig deal to you. It is to the OP. It is to me. It is to alot of people. Over my dead body will be 8 year old wear one. We have NO idea of the long term physical and mental implications of them.

LookAtThatCritter · 18/09/2020 17:18

I think unless you have a genuine medical reason to not wear a mask, then anybody refusing to wear one is being unreasonable. They take a little getting used to but that’s it. I’ve had to wear far worse for work for months now. Missing out on life because of these circumstances is a waste of time and a real shame.

CandidaAlbicans2 · 18/09/2020 17:26

FFS! On MN, you have to wear a mask and like it. Fuck that.

Yup. OK, I wear a mask and use hand sanitizer where ever I'm supposed to, but I just wish covid would fuck off so we could stop having to. It just takes the edge off the enjoyment of shopping, etc. Now I really have to want to do something to jump through the hoops. As you say, we can follow the rules but that doesn't mean we have to like it. I don't mind my masks too much but I really hate hand sanitizer, and sometimes just want a little moan about it.

SnackSizeRaisin · 18/09/2020 18:30

Yanbu to find wearing a mask depressing. But it's not that bad if you are just sitting there, not having to talk to anyone. Maybe try a thin single layer cloth one?

Cadent · 18/09/2020 18:31

Over my dead body will be 8 year old wear one. We have NO idea of the long term physical and mental implications of them.

Grin

Won't anyone think of the children!

NancyBotwinBloom · 18/09/2020 18:32

So,e masks are more comfortable than others. We have been through a few types.

Funkypolar · 18/09/2020 18:37

The theatres and cinemas will be shut again soon anyway.

loulouljh · 18/09/2020 18:45

I am thinking of the children,,hence my child aged 8 will not be wearing a mask. I wish people would start thinking of the children.

kursaalflyer · 18/09/2020 19:07

Children aren't going to be wearing masks forever ffs! I'm sure my nan didn't get shrill about the future psychological effects on my mum when she sent her off to school every day with a gas mask.

Georgyporky · 18/09/2020 19:44

I posted earlier, but it seems to have got overwhelmed.

I'll shout :-

WEAR A VISOR.

No steamed up glasses, no claustrophobia - & compliant with guidelines.

Comefromaway · 18/09/2020 19:53

Except visors are as much use as a chocolate teapot. They are ok as well as masks but pretty ineffective without.

ClickandForget · 18/09/2020 20:03

effects on my mum when she sent her off to school every day with a gas mask

I've seen pictures of babies in pushchairs wearing them, and those masks were big heavy buggers!
Now a bit of cloth puts folk off doing stuff.

Montsti · 18/09/2020 20:11

Wearing a mask (the right one) is really not that bad...we’ve had to wear one in public for the past 5 months in South Africa...my 3 eldest children (10, 8 and 5 years old) all wear them every time they leave the house including a full day at school and walking the dog etc...

I do 20,000 steps a day, mostly wearing a mask as every time I step out of the house, other than when I’m in my car, I’m wearing a mask! I walk the dog with my mask on and my kids ride their bikes with masks on!

Thecobwebsarewinning · 19/09/2020 01:08

I posted earlier that I’d booked for Six in a few weeks and was going to The Bridge on Friday. I travelled up on the train in my mask and sat through the show in my mask. I was so engrossed in what I was watching I forgot my mask was on.

On the way home I read various signs on the station and train and realised because I am disabled I don’t actually have to wear a mask - technically I’m exempt. However the nature of my disability in no way diminishes my ability to breathe in a mask so I’ll carry on wearing one. It’s an irritating but tiny sacrifice for the greater good.

PurpleFlower1983 · 19/09/2020 05:55

Six will be around for a while and it’s touring so don’t rush back if you don’t want to. Having said that, we saw Jesus Christ Superstar at Regents Park in August in masks and it was fine, amazing actually.

Hardbackwriter · 19/09/2020 07:34

On the way home I read various signs on the station and train and realised because I am disabled I don’t actually have to wear a mask - technically I’m exempt. However the nature of my disability in no way diminishes my ability to breathe in a mask so I’ll carry on wearing one. It’s an irritating but tiny sacrifice for the greater good.

I don't think you are exempt, then? The exemption is:

people who cannot put on, wear or remove a face covering because of a physical or mental illness or impairment, or disability

not all people with a disability of any kind. If the disability doesn't stop you wearing a mask then it's irrelevant.

Original poster
Witterywoman · 19/09/2020 08:09

So, after reading the comments I was wavering, especially after another friend posted on Facebook that she had booked and I realised how badly I wanted to see it!

To be clear, I'm not anti mask and do wear one when necessary (shopping, certain situations at work etc). However, I don't like wearing them and feel it would spoil what's supposed to be a treat that I will be paying a lot of money for. Nevertheless, I mentioned it to DD who said that; as much as she wants to see it, the restrictions would ruin it for her (& her desire to sing along to all the songs!). She hates wearing a mask more than I do. Therefore we've agreed to wait until we can enjoy the full experience with her friend. Last night's news about a potential second lock down confirms we've made the right decision as there's no guarantee it won't get cancelled again sadly.

OP posts:
ProudAuntie76 · 19/09/2020 08:55

As a total aside, when you do go, please explain to your daughter that it’s not appropriate to sing along at musicals. This has ruined two shows for me, one being Hamilton where about 20 people joined in rapping the whole thing and it had cost a lot of money and resulted in me not being able to hear the actors I’d actually paid to hear. At Mean Girls and Frozen in New York last year they thankfully made announcements asking the audience to refrain from singing along. It must be a recent phenomenon as I don’t recall anyone joining in singing before at the theatre. Huge gigs in arenas where the sound levels are so high you can still hear the artists, yes. The second time it was ruined for me was when my sister was playing one of the main parts in a show...a tone deaf man sitting in the row in front sang her solo really loudly. It was quite upsetting for us as a family and ruined a very special moment. With a child, I can understand they’ve just not been guided properly by a parent yet but with an adult...so selfish. Why would we want to hear them rather than the professionals who’ve spent years training and who we’ve actually paid to see?

If singing along is important to her, Six did have some limited singalong shows last year so perhaps keep an eye out for one of those dates becoming available when the pandemic is over.

eaglejulesk · 19/09/2020 09:05

I think I'm at my Mumsnet limit of perfectly healthy people whining about masks.

So am I, it's beyond tedious now.

eaglejulesk · 19/09/2020 09:08

Over my dead body will be 8 year old wear one. We have NO idea of the long term physical and mental implications of them.

OMG - have you any idea how ridiculous you sound?