To want a thread to acknowledge the effect Covid is having on single people?

[BooFuckingHoo2]

I’m not trying to be a competitive “my life is worse than yours” person, but all I seem to hear in the world around me (not just on MN) is about how tough Covid is on people with young kids, how they went stir crazy with homeschooling and how it’s terrible little Jonny can’t have his first birthday party.

I’m not denying that many families are having it tough, but I just want someone to acknowledge that it’s also extremely difficult for people who are single and childless not through choice. I feel like I’ve had at least 6 months of opportunity to meet a partner taken away, and with the current rules banning standing at the bar and social groups I don’t see that changing anytime soon. I’m not getting any younger and it feels like time is running out.

Again I know it must be tough, but I would love to have a husband and kids at the moment. Or maybe I’m being naive and the grass isn’t always greener

I've read plenty of the threads you describe since March actually.

I hope you're ok and I hope things work out for you

OP have you tried online dating? Good way to get to know someone at a distance

Just because someone has kids it doesn't mean they are married.

It's been really tough for most people, for a variety of reasons. And I'm sure a lot of people who have spent lockdown in a small house with loads of people would envy you. Sometimes the grass does look greener.

I agree with online dating as a way to meet, there have been walking groups set up here too for socially distanced walks with people so there may be something similar in your area.

Hope tomorrow looks a little brighter for you op, this hasn't been easy at all

I’m with you @BooFuckingHoo2, and considering how long this may well go on for I’ve started IVF with a donor because there just don’t seem to be any decent articulate men doing online dating near me!

Thanks all I have made serious effort with online dating but as I’m sure my fellow singles will agree it is not easy by any stretch!

We were shielding as a family, but a good friend of mine was shielding alone. She has a partner, but they don't live together and he had an essential work role. So she was completely on her own, in a flat with no garden, for months.

I know who had it harder out of us.

I do feel it is tough on single people. Walking groups or any other organised sport might be a good idea as they are still allowed to operate even with more than 6 people (and certain restrictions). You might even find a great new hobby 🙂

Where do you work OP by the way? As offices are open too, an open plan office can have a lot of people even at half capacity.

YANBU - I think the current situation is difficult for everyone, but that isn't really acknowledged.

I'm married with kids and this last 6 months has almost broken me. My friend is single, lives alone and feels the same. Both for different reasons. We both wonder if we'd be happier in the others situation, but agree that's definitely the greener grass you mention.

I'm sorry it's so hard for you and you feel forgotten - I hope things improve for you

You’re absolutely right, and Covid is not a competitive misery sport. I have felt so bad for those of my friends who live alone, work at home, see no one during the day, and for whom there’s no obvious bubble. My heart breaks for them because it is not getting any much better is it :(

With one friend we would Teams chat as she cried from being so lonely and I cried from having no peace, fully recognising the absolute mirror of our situation.

So basically, hugs.

(Two of my single friends, who I’d put at the quirky, anti social side of life, have actually found a partner in this time. Which I think is amazing... hope those of you who are looking find similar luck).

It's been tough on lots of different groups of people, but I agree with you that it's particularly hard for anyone living on their own.

Unfortunately my office is still shut so my social interactions have been extremely minimal for a long while

Absolutely - I run a volunteer programme that started during covid and a lot of our people are 30-something singles who might otherwise not see a soul during the week. It's really difficult.

I agree. Lockdown has been difficult for everyone in various ways but as a single person who wasn’t allowed to touch another human being for months, I can say without a doubt it was the most difficult and unnatural thing I’ve experienced (and I’ve been through some rough times.) Honestly I tried to be happy for the people enjoying lockdown in their gardens, baking with their children, but I was suicidal and the cheery posts about how lovely it was to have family time were like salt in the wound.

I have FINALLY gotten together with a man I’ve been dreaming of since I met him a year ago. Who lives in another country. A red zone country. So I cannot go visit him without isolating for 14 days (not feasible) and he cannot visit me for the same reason.
This thing absolutely SUCKS op

Hoping this situation improves for all of us, single married newly coupled-up kids kid-free people

Awww OP, I’m sure it has been really hard. I’ve been extra conscious during lockdown of checking in regularly with the single people on my team because it must have been remarkably lonely at times.

If it makes you feel better though, I’m married with no kids and being cooped up in the house (we both WFH) with the same person for months on end with absolutely no respite hasn’t been a picnic either! I wouldn’t be surprised if divorce rates spike as a result of this! I love DH dearly but I am amazed we haven’t killed each other...

I have a young child but also single and I dont think having a child has made it any better as I've never been so exhausted trying to do everything alone but having no adult company. It's not like I can even go to.the pub or go on dates either. I'm incredibly lonely 😔

You are so very much not U, OP.

The mental health toll will be substantial. Hope you find some things that make you happy until you can get your life back to normal

It must be shit OP. I was so lucky DP had moved in just before it all, so I had him and DS. WFH and teaching DS was a stretch at times, but I would have hated to be alone.
I know one of my friends did some online speed dating the other day. I’m not sure where she found it, but maybe you could google stuff like that in your area? Might be a bit more fun than regular online dating?

I think everyone has suffered in different ways. I didn't read this as a "my experience was harder than yours", it's just different. I imagine having children during this pandemic must have been exhausting, being furloughed likely caused masses of anxiety, and being single must have been lonely. Sending you and everyone who's struggling a big hug. Hope things pick up soon!

Sorry if stupid question, can you bubble up with another household? It won't help with dating, but at least you could get some hugs. If I understand right, the other household can be someone single, a couple or a household of adults + kids.

YANBU at all.

I’m not in exactly your boat as I don’t want children and I’m not looking for a partner. But I’m in a neighbouring boat and I sympathise

I didn’t see anyone for months and my only face to face human contact was a monthly trip to the pharmacy and with delivery drivers. I haven’t had any physical touch or affection for six months. I’ve always been quite happy with my own company but fucking hell its been a lonely six months!

It must be very tough and you're totally entitled to talk about it.

AIBU to wonder what attracted single childless women to a forum called Mumsnet? Men too for that matter. I've seen loads of threads about the difficulty dating and loneliness of lockdown

AIBU to wonder what attracted single childless women to a forum called Mumsnet?

Yes you are. There are loads of non parent related boards and threads on here and questions like that make people feel unwelcome.