To want a thread to acknowledge the effect Covid is having on single people?

[BooFuckingHoo2]

I’m not trying to be a competitive “my life is worse than yours” person, but all I seem to hear in the world around me (not just on MN) is about how tough Covid is on people with young kids, how they went stir crazy with homeschooling and how it’s terrible little Jonny can’t have his first birthday party.

I’m not denying that many families are having it tough, but I just want someone to acknowledge that it’s also extremely difficult for people who are single and childless not through choice. I feel like I’ve had at least 6 months of opportunity to meet a partner taken away, and with the current rules banning standing at the bar and social groups I don’t see that changing anytime soon. I’m not getting any younger and it feels like time is running out.

Again I know it must be tough, but I would love to have a husband and kids at the moment. Or maybe I’m being naive and the grass isn’t always greener

Of course YANBU. It’s horrific

YANBU and sympathy, OP.
Kids aged 6 and 3 here and although the day-to-day can be challenging, I think the whole 'shape of our lives' have been undamaged if that makes sense. Not so for those in your situation, or indeed those in late teens early twenties missing their 'spread your wings' time.

@tornadoalley I had an abortion (not an easy decision) a few years ago and came here for advice HTH

Also mumsnet is the most widely used women’s forum, there’s some great weight loss, style and beauty and neighbour advice. I’m yet to find another forum of the same nature.

You don't have to explain yourself OP. I've been here for 12 years or so and there has always been single women and some men. It's fine!

@tornadoalley

AIBU to wonder what attracted single childless women to a forum called Mumsnet? Men too for that matter. I've seen loads of threads about the difficulty dating and loneliness of lockdown

Oh bore off.

Hugs op, vent away.

I'm single due to lockdown, since my boyfriend of 2 years got bored when we were unable to see each other, cheated on me and dumped me for the woman he cheated on me with.

Its very hard to meet anyone else and its been very lonely.

YANBU. Bless you. Lonely here too. A parent, but widowed in my 30s.

I hear you too OP. I’m single but have a child although I’m my child’s only parent so they’re with me all the time. I have no one to bubble with. COVID finished off my dad and my mental health is shot from the lack of adult company and touch. I’m bone-crushingly lonely. It’s really tough.

YANBU. I was saying to DH just yesterday that one of the many groups of people this is particularly shit for us single people who are looking to meet someone. As you say wasted months where you could have met someone! As well as reduced opportunities.

Rubbish

It's just shit for everyone, in different ways.

I don't think anyone is minimising anyone else's struggle. Nobody has had a good time through all of this.

My brother has been recently single in the last year and hes never been busier, date wise. Hasn't stopped him at all. He has virtual dinner dates and then moves on to real life meet ups.

I completely understand how hard it is for you. Whilst we are all in the same storm, we are all in very different boats.
I’ve worked throughout and had stress of homeschooling etc .. and found it hard. But I also have a good friend who lives in her own and was furloughed and know how hard it’s been for her. I have friends with kids who were furloughed for 4 months ... spending every day having fun with the kids, yet I was working extra .... but I also understood their ‘stress’ of worrying if they would have a job to return too. As I say, same storm, but very different boats. Sending you hugs. Keep positive x

I do sympathise but this is my life all the time as I’m a single mum but kids dad doesn’t bother with them and family don’t help so I haven’t been able to meet anyone Covid or no Covid so this is my reality all the time, it’s incredibly lonely, at least you know when this time passes you will be able to meet someone, can’t say the same for myself so although I get it this is some people’s life is like anyway.

It is a very difficult time for almost everyone.

I live alone, and have only seen about six people to speak to from a distance in all these months.
I think medieval hermits must have had more contact with folks than me! Mumsnet has been a lifesaver for me in so many ways recently.

< sending you some unmumsnetty hugs Boo >

YANBU.

As a single, childless women (@tornadoalley can fuck right off at this point) the last six months have been absolutely fucking awful. I wept when, three months in, I actually got to hug someone.

I can’t risk having to self isolate so that means no pubs, no restaurants, no gatherings for me. I’m more fortunate than many but the social isolation is fucking HARD.

Yanbu. It was absolutely exhausting trying to work and home school here, particularly as I had a vulnerable family member and a period of uncertainty about my job and was a ball of stress over it all for the first half of lockdown but I’ve often thought of people I know living alone, especially those whose mental health is not robust and how difficult that must have been. And also people in grotty house shares in cities away from home and 18/20 year olds who usually live for the weekends being locked up with their parents and not able to go anywhere. It’s not been a bed of roses for anybody has it but you definitely deserve a moment op.

It’s terribly lonely.
I was widowed in January 2018 after a long emotionally and physically exhausting period of caring for my DH.
Then just as I was starting to recover somewhat this happened.
I have very little family left and those I do have are living away and bubbled up. Not interested in dating. The first holiday, a weekend away in 8 years was cancelled. Day trip coaches aren’t running.
If anything happens to my only source of company and cuddles - my elderly cat I honestly don’t think I can cope anymore.
Like others have said, it’s social, human interaction that is desperately absent.
My thoughts and virtual hugs to all who need one (((())))

I am beyond lucky to have found lockdown manageable with my kids at home.

But a friend of mine took his own life; he was shielding and lonely. I don't know if he'd have gone through with it had he been able to have human contact.

And another friend died of cancer without being able to see his family as they couldn't travel to him.

I just 🤷🏻‍♀️ I dunno, what is there to say.

I think it must be awful for single people. I'm barely keeping my sanity working from home every day, but I do have DH and DCs in the evening and we were together through lockdown.

Awful for single parents and people stuck in very bad marriages too.

I miss the pre Covid days.

My life hasn't changed much. I'm a single parent and keyworker so I've been out at work in the day and home every night with my kids for years now. Weekends are spent at the park, in the garden and sometimes with family. But I love it, when it's just me and them in our own little world. I guess I'm very lucky to be happy in my simple life, although you probably wouldn't envy me in normal times at all!! I feel very sorry for anyone who has found this hard. Could you look to do some volunteering or join a local group doing something you're interested in? Lots of creative and active hobbies are starting back up again around here.

I hear you OP. Same here - single, no kids, no support bubble, no colleagues to interact with, family miles away, friends not socialising outside small groups (of people with kids and partners).

I haven’t seen a friend since the beginning of August and that was the first time since June. Before that was March.

Trying to not lose my mind.

im Just fed up with everyone moaning about the pandemic. Single people, parents, WFH. Can’t understand the rules, don’t want to wear masks, getting tested, refusing tests, refusing vaccines.... the list is endless.

Everyone is sick of it. Everyone has lost out. Everyone thinks they are the only one to suffer. I’ve not had a holiday, no help with kids, illness, disability, no money, despair over the economy and the future. And still no end in sight and Winter is coming.

Single people who can’t date as normal just have to suck it up like all of us. Of course their problems are real and loneliness is a big factor, but so is the stress of families stuck at home, job losses, domestic violence etc. My child spent 5 weeks in ICU in the summer and we are lucky he is still here with us, so listening to someone who’s life has been disrupted on a temporary level which will return to normal in the coming months, and who is moaning because they can’t meet potential partners, irritates me. You have a roof over your head, a job and friends and family, books, TV, walks, and a whole heap less stress than many others.

Completed agree!
Also noticed lots of complaining from larger families with lots of kids about rule of 6 which i understand but no one pointed out that at least they had 5 other people/ siblings to hang out with in a way that single people / only children don't.