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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Joint mortgage with both of us.

96 replies

Princessposie · 17/09/2020 15:54

My very, very lovely boyfriend still had a mortgage with his ex-DP. We want to remortgage my house to have one together. He’d be in both mortgages. Mortgage advisor has said we could get the mortgage together in spite of other mortgage. I’m concerned that his ex-DP might default and that’s impact our mortgage. Am I worrying unnecessarily?

YABU - go ahead and buy a house together whilst he’s still on the other one.

YANBU - don’t get a mortgage together until he’s off the other one.

What do you think wise M’netters Wine

OP posts:
espressoontap · 17/09/2020 15:56

Wait until he's off the other one.

pooopypants · 17/09/2020 15:57

Don't do it, it might all go tits up

SunbathingDragon · 17/09/2020 15:57

YANBU. I’d wait as well. It’s not worth risking your house and future.

Original poster
Princessposie · 17/09/2020 15:59

I had a feeling that’d be the consensus Sad

OP posts:
TeamLannister · 17/09/2020 16:03

I wouldn't do it in a million years.

GladAllOver · 17/09/2020 16:03

Far too dangerous. It could affect your credit rating in unexpected ways.

RaspberryHartleys · 17/09/2020 16:06

Wouldn't he have to pay stamp duty at the increased rate etc if it's a new house? Or are you planning on staying where you are?

Original poster
Princessposie · 17/09/2020 16:09

Yes, staying where we are now. That’s the plan.

OP posts:
FAQs · 17/09/2020 16:13

Why does he need to be part of a mortgage on your house?

nancyjuice7 · 17/09/2020 16:16

Have you had something wrote up with a solicitor to state what part of the property he is buying into by going on the mortgage?

NoSquirrels · 17/09/2020 16:17

It's your house at the moment, yes? And it's just in your name?

And you are not married, and don't intend to get married any time soon?

Don't put him anywhere near your mortgage! Why would you?

TheCrowFromBelow · 17/09/2020 16:22

How long have you been with him?
If you aren't moving, and he already has an interest in another property, why are you looking to remortgage now?
There will be SDLT implications if he doesnt sell his interest in the other property within 6 months,

Original poster
Princessposie · 17/09/2020 16:36

TheCrowFromBelow what are SDLT implications?

OP posts:
Original poster
Princessposie · 17/09/2020 16:37

Everyone else, yes, it’s mine but we want to properly join our lives up and I guess the house being joint will solidify that for us both Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Princessposie · 17/09/2020 16:38

I’m not at all worried about him being on my mortgage and sharing the equity, I definitely trust him.

It has been a year.

OP posts:
MaskingForIt · 17/09/2020 16:40

What’s the benefit? Why not retain your independence? You run the risk of having him on your mortgage limiting your options when he’s then on the mortgage of his next partner.

Puffa1Puffa2 · 17/09/2020 16:45

I doubt he a bank would put him on 2 mortgages

If he already has a mortgage, he would need to pay stamp duty on the second purchase, I believe

He needs to have a clean financial break from his ex

Why are you so keen to put him onto YOUR property, when he is still entangled with someone else

Protect yourself

Original poster
Princessposie · 17/09/2020 16:46

He definitely wants to come off the previous mortgage but it’s an affordability issue for the ex, and he’s such a nice person he’s letting her keep his money, but she still can’t seem to afford it.

OP posts:
Coldcough · 17/09/2020 16:49

Keep your house to yourself!!!! Don't give your money and independence away. Rent a property together or buy a house together and rent yours out.

Puffa1Puffa2 · 17/09/2020 16:49

A year !

Tell him to sort out his financial commitments with his ex first

Timetobeslow · 17/09/2020 16:49

You sound very naive Confused

hammeringinmyhead · 17/09/2020 16:51

He's a mug you mean. If she stops paying what do you think happens to his credit file?

TheCrowFromBelow · 17/09/2020 16:53

Stamp duty. Speak to a solicitor before doing this.
A year isn't long. Are you already cohabiting?
If not i would try that for a couple of years and then see where you are. A house is a big asset.

Ohnoducks · 17/09/2020 16:55

You've only been together a year and you want to make the biggest financial commitment you can before he's even separated fully from his previous partner? Why on earth would you want to do this, this is your home, and if in another year you break up you'll need to buy him out to get it back. Your credit record would become tied to his, and therefore by default his ex, so if she can't pay her mortgage your credit record will suffer. This isn't romantic to trust him so strongly so soon, it's naive and putting your own security at risk for no reason at all. If he's such a nice guy he'll understand your need for security as well as his ex's, and he'll have to decide which woman he wants in his future as his priority because right now that's still the ex.

NoSquirrels · 17/09/2020 16:57

You can join your lives, and share your house, without compromising your financial independence, OP.

Please don't do it. If your "very lovely BF" needs you to put him on the mortgage for his own ego, then there's a bit of an issue there already.

It's really a very bad idea.