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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I don't think I've been over the top but have I?

102 replies

hotmessmom82 · 15/09/2020 19:34

Basically a parent with a child with covid symptoms has kept one child off but not her youngest (in my son's year). No testing booked etc. But as we all know the mum jungle drums go off about these things. Another parent has spent over 6 hours today explaining to the school what is going on. Unfortunately this seemed to fall on deaf ears. The mother works in a salon so is around people all day. I contacted the salon and told them. She told her employer they had the test but it was negative. Blatant lie, generally I wouldn't care but I don't feel it's right to say oh yes my one child has symptoms but not get the test or self isolate. I'm fully prepared for the backlash from the mother's mafia but now they have to be tested. I just don't think you can go telling people someone potentially has it and do bugger all!

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lifesalongsong · 15/09/2020 19:39

I don't fully understand but you do sound over the top, ringing someone's work and talking of mother's mafia (what even is that) and speaking to the school for 6 hours!

Sounds like soap operatives drama,But child zero only has cold.

hotmessmom82 · 15/09/2020 19:40

No another parent was repeatedly contacting school. I have a child with an underlying issue so to me not isolating when you are constantly telling people your child could have covid is extremely worrying.

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Gazelda · 15/09/2020 19:41

Wow

How do you know she hasn't tested?

OverTheRainbow88 · 15/09/2020 19:42

Well yes the other parent is clearly in the wrong here. If one kid has symptoms both stay home.

I wouldn’t be ringing other people’s employers though... that’s overstepping IMO

buttcrackmcheese · 15/09/2020 19:44

Wow

hotmessmom82 · 15/09/2020 19:44

She has told people she hasn't. And as we all know mums talk! It has been confirmed by the school the child is at the reason she is off school. Obviously I know they shouldn't be telling parents these things but it is worrying.

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Suzi888 · 15/09/2020 19:45

She needs to test the child, (maybe she has) our school has been told not to inform others of covid symptoms or tests etc so as not to cause panic.

HeddaGarbled · 15/09/2020 19:46

Yes, definitely over the top to ring her employer.

SlatternIsMyMiddleName · 15/09/2020 19:46

Jungle drums - is considered an offensive phrase by many. Plus your various references to mummies talking/ mafia makes me think that yes, YABU.

hotmessmom82 · 15/09/2020 19:47

Well that's it, it has caused a panic. I know self isolating is a nightmare but why put so many at risk potentially without actually finding out one way or another.

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Parkermumma07 · 15/09/2020 19:52

Have you spoken to her yourself about your concerns?
I don’t think it’s very fair to contact her work if you haven’t spoke to her and got all of the solid facts, how do you know that what information you have passed on isn’t just gossip.

Regularsizedrudy · 15/09/2020 19:53

I need that breaking down into bullet points

Misknit · 15/09/2020 19:55

A parent was on the phone to the school for six hours? Wow. What couldn't be communicated in a 10 minute phone call when they would have been unable to discuss the specifics of another family? I can't think of one member of staff in a school who would be able to talk to anyone for six hours and not be needed elsewhere. Seems the mafia mums have contracted a bad case of hyperbole.

MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously · 15/09/2020 19:56

Whilst I agree that phoning someone's employer is overstepping, if I had a particularly vulnerable child in the same school year as hers, I'd be worried too.
Thing is, tests are hard to come by and the likelihood is that her child could have any number of things that aren't Covid. A lot of the symptoms are so generic they could be anything.

hotmessmom82 · 15/09/2020 19:56

😂 sorry it was a rant! I have fully admitted it was myself that called. But I'm worried for my children and keeping them as safe as possible without having other people put them at risk.

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Todaythiscouldbe · 15/09/2020 19:56

Wow. I'm all for following rules but this is insane. You're presumably relying on 2nd/3rd/4th hand information.

CastleCrasher · 15/09/2020 19:56

Seems very odd that the school would allow the sibling to attend if they know the child if off with symptoms and no proof of a negative test. And six hours talking to the school? Really?

hotmessmom82 · 15/09/2020 19:57

It's 2 different schools.

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PamDemic · 15/09/2020 19:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

user1487194234 · 15/09/2020 19:59

Phoning someone's work
Now I really have heard everything

lockeddownandcrazy · 15/09/2020 19:59

the thing about the jungle drums is they arent always right. you have rumour but not fact - she could have tested negative, you dont know otherwise

Heartlake · 15/09/2020 19:59

Rule 1 of being a school parent.

If something goes on at school / involving school, talk to school about it first.

Rule 2: Stay off the parents' WhatsApp group unless you're checking which day is PE day, or asking if anyone has taken Jonnie's jumper home by mistake.

ShellsAndSunrises · 15/09/2020 20:01

But I'm worried for my children and keeping them as safe as possible without having other people put them at risk.

The sad reality is that you can’t do that and send them to school. Other people won’t always test or isolate when they should. They won’t be able to afford to; or will have other responsibilities, or won’t believe in it, or however they justify it, but they won’t always follow the rules.

It’s horrible but it’s true. This woman was silly enough to tell people but that won’t always be true.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 15/09/2020 20:02

The school shouldn't have given out any information about anyones child. That's hugely concerning.

Considering a huge percentage of children who have covid are asymptomatic I think you are really being ott, and possibly need to consider home schooling.

6 hours on the phone to the school and then calling someones work is ridiculous.

hotmessmom82 · 15/09/2020 20:02

I'm not denying it's not my greatest moment but to be told repeatedly that there is a parent not isolating or getting tested when they should be is infuriating.

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