AIBU to not let my 14 year old daughter travel 50 miles to Brighton on public transport with her friends?

[Cloudspotter]

She's never really been anywhere before but has now decided that this weekend she wants to go to Brighton by herself with her two other 14 year old friends.

The three of them are fairly sensible, verging on straight-laced. They've never been in trouble. The girls are from fairly sensible households, more strict than ours really, so there have never been any conflicts over going out before.

But the way my daughter has presented it is as if all her friends at school are doing this....

I have a feeling that if I say yes, it will start the ball rolling on the other kids pestering their parents to do something they otherwise would say no to.

I just think my daughter is way too naive to do this. She's got no street smarts at all. However, if I don't let her go out there, she'll never develop them.

Any thoughts?

I wouldn’t let my 14 year old 50 miles is a long way

@ChnandlerBong

Surely 14 is year 10. 4th year in old money.

We were definitely spreading our wings at that age. Starting to go to parties and wanting to go further afield than the local town for a day out.

You say yourself that they're sensible girls. Just make it condition that she leaves her phone tracker on and give her a specific time to be home and take a deep breath.

If she's not old enough now, when will she be? 16? 18? 21?

To be fair, she could be Y9 with a very early Sept birthday!

I would let her go. Give her a time to be back, and if she isn't, then it's a no next time. (barring unavoidable delay like trains cancelled, which you can easily check).

Why are people bothered by sea swimming 14 yos ?

I would say let her go. Brighton is a pretty simple place to navigate (I lived there for 20 years). You just walk straight out of the station down to the beach and the main shopping areas are sort of parallel to the beach and close to the station so they’re unlikely to get lost. I would say it’s one of the better places to go!

I wouldn't. Too many variables. Fine if you go with them and give them some time out on their own but not if they're young 14 yr olds. I would speak to the other girls parents too though as they might also be straight no and the whole debate isn't just yours to carry, and equally might have other suggestions that you can all be comfortable with.

I think in a group of 3 I'd let them as long as you can verify with the other parents that they have the same story and have also agreed. And as long as there aren't too many transport changes along the way.

I think if your DD and her friends are sensible then consider her request. My DD is 17 and from year 10 started to get a little bit more freedom, ie train into London 40miles away with sensible friends. Although mine was familiar with London as we visited most holidays.

I think I would be happier at the end of year 10 but if you do say yes, then they need to be on certain trains, keep in touch say when they arrive in Brighton and perhaps they can pre-plan their day so you are reassured. I don't think I would be happy with swimming if not strong swimmers and definitely not on a beach without a lifeguard. Plus anyone could steal their phones on a beach. Year 10 is a tricky year to navigate so a planned day out in daylight shouldn't be a straight no. Also worse case scenario, say if all the return trains are cancelled South London to Brighton is not that far if you can drive!

It's a direct hour train journey from Brighton, (and if you're in South London, not much further by car should the worst happen and they need to get picked up).
It's an ideal first day trip for a group of 14 year olds. Put them on the train at Victoria if you're really worried.

@AndwhenyougetthereFoffsomemore you want to have a chat about what they would do ‘if someone drunk tried to talk to them’? Come the fuck on. Your poor children