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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you/have you taken dc out of school for a day for a one off day trip/treat

202 replies

shatteredmama · 14/09/2020 11:52

Just that really - dc in yr 1, had pretty much 100% attendance in yr R, has no issues, sociable, doing well..

This wouldn’t have crossed my mind previously but following two recent experiences during summer hols and a weekend when we went to Legoland/Chessington and were faced with ridiculous queues of 1.5 hr plus for rides compared with how quiet those places are today (I’ve checked queue times in their apps) it does strike me that dc would’ve had a far better experience going school time mid week with me then catching up on a bit of schoolwork at the weekend.

I’d only intend on doing this once or twice a year, I don’t expect it will sit well with the school however so am just wondering if any of you have done this and how the schools responded, or how you dealt with it if going about it a different way.

Am new to the voting thing, but please vote yes if you’d do what I’m planning or no if you wouldn’t, thanks 🙏

OP posts:
AlwaysLatte · 15/09/2020 06:51

Once in a rare while I did this with my primary kids (never done it since my son started secondary). It's good for everyone's souls to sometimes have a family day. We would make it a Friday though so that when they went to school enthusing about itwould be assumed it was part of the weekend!

PurpleFlower1983 · 15/09/2020 06:53

YANBU, life is too short. (I’m a teacher)

JustOneMoreStep · 15/09/2020 07:02

Objectively, 1 day won't make a difference either way, and a few years ago I think people did this quite regularly. I think now things have tightened up alot and the only reason a child should not bevin school is medical purposes. I know of at least 1 family who got in quite a bit of trouble because they informed the school the children had sick bugs, but on their return the children announced a long weekend at alton towers which was quickly backed up by photos on Facebook!

Littlepond · 15/09/2020 07:06

I wonder what message it sends to children if we do this.

That said, I took my kids out of school for one day to see their aunt who was visiting from Australia and we hadn’t seen for years. I don’t remember now why we couldn’t do a weekend Meet up but we couldn’t

Jellycatspyjamas · 15/09/2020 07:14

I'm in Australia, and second the posters who comment how oddly strict the UK system seems regarding a few days off here and there. From the outside, it appears quite bizarre!

I’m in Scotland and we don’t have the same system of fines for short absences, or at least if we do I’ve never come across it. Our schools HT is enormously practical - if the kids need a day with mum that’s absolutely fine.

I wonder what message it sends to children if we do this.

Well for my kids is sends them the message that while school matters, so does their mental health and well-being, it tells them that if they really need a break it’s ok to put yourself first occasionally, it tells them I won’t leave them to just get on with it and that the idea of balance matters more than a perfect attendance certificate.

DDiva · 15/09/2020 07:15

Usually in early primary I wouldnt have a problem with this. I have taken my dd out a couple of times to.allow her to see her cousins more (they live away). As dd has just missed 6 months of school I certainly won't be doing it this academic year.....

Morgan12 · 15/09/2020 07:19

YANBU.

I'm doing it next week actually.

I'm taking my DS out for the day without crowds and queues. He deserves it.

LagunaBubbles · 15/09/2020 07:21

I took my kids out for 3 weeks in September once for a holiday to America, so wouldn't have any hesitation about a day! No fines as we are in Scotland. One has just left school with 4 Highers so didn't adversely affect him in the slightest.

changerr · 15/09/2020 07:25

Once or twice every year (which is what you say in your post)? No!

As a one-off towards the end of year 1, at age 5 or 6, perhaps a sort of birthday treat? Yes.

GarlicMonkey · 15/09/2020 07:27

Yes, absolutely. There's more to education than school.

PickAChew · 15/09/2020 07:29

No, he's already spent 6 months out of school.

steppemum · 15/09/2020 07:29

normally, meh, do it.
Now, no I wouldn't because they have missed so much school, and are likely to miss more due to Covid

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 15/09/2020 07:33

I have done, yes. And taken him on holiday during term time, because DH was limited in when he could take annual leave. My parents used to take me out of school at least once a year for a trip to London as a child, I used to love it so wanted DS to have the same. He has turned out fully educated, it hasn't affected his progress at all. He is fairly bright though, probably wouldn't have done the same with DSS1 who needed extra support. DSS2 had the occasional day off too and is a graduate working as a HR director - hasn't hampered his progress either.

StormyInTheNorth · 15/09/2020 07:34

I wouldn't have done it until C19. Poor DD and I completed every piece of work set and emailed her teacher weekly. We had two replies from March to end of term. Happily her next teacher is much more on the ball.
Now, I have no qualms about taking her out, we have booked a term time holiday and want to take her out for two days for a long birthday weekend away. They can fine me if they wish, but she's bright, think a few years ahead, and I have no loyalty to a school who essentially abandoned poor DD.

CherryLicious · 15/09/2020 07:51

I have done it. Not to avoid queues or get a cheaper day out though. 4 months after their DF had died, we were all miserable and I decided we needed a day off the treadmill of grief. DSs were 9 and 4. We skipped school and went to Drayton Manor/ Thomas Land for the day. It was fun.

m0therofdragons · 15/09/2020 08:03

I did to take dc to a spice girls concert (Only misses the afternoon) but that was pre covid and I wouldn’t do it now. My dc have missed too much school. We’re currently isolating awaiting covid results for a family member and dc are again missing out on school. We’ve booked a theme park soon but for a weekend. Your dc missed so much of reception where they lay the ground work for school even if it’s learning through play, it’s a lot to miss. The experience of school right now is more important and taking Dc to Legoland would be for your benefit rather than his.

Potterpotterpotter · 15/09/2020 08:07

Yes Iv done this and I’d do it again. In fact we have A day trip booked to Harry Potter studios in December as a Xmas treat on a Friday (all weekend slots were already gone).

I do it a couple times a year for big day trips out that cost a lot of £!

BlackberrySky · 15/09/2020 08:22

Not at the moment, no. They have just had six months off and are in for a long winter of not being allowed in with the slightest sniffle.

makingmammaries · 15/09/2020 08:27

Yes, totally would

ResIpsaLoquiturInterAlia · 15/09/2020 12:34

How about deregistering in preference of continued home schooling as in addition to the recent (evidently inadequate) half year off you can carry on doing your own thing are you wish instead of being attached to a school with rules and then not following basic rules of attendance as applicable to all apart from the exceptional entitlement loophole types. This is an alternative solution as you can follow and make up your own rules (elements of independent Brexit ideology etc) as you see fit without gilt nor punishment. Seems like a win win all round as don't need to pick and choose or reject rules etc. Bit like Covid rules with those who don't mind furlough and other benefits but then have issues with other Covid policies, rules and civic duty obligations. This is a slight aside but relevant in the context of recent extended school holidays so far this year so far.

ScarMatty · 15/09/2020 12:43

@ResIpsaLoquiturInterAlia

How about deregistering in preference of continued home schooling as in addition to the recent (evidently inadequate) half year off you can carry on doing your own thing are you wish instead of being attached to a school with rules and then not following basic rules of attendance as applicable to all apart from the exceptional entitlement loophole types. This is an alternative solution as you can follow and make up your own rules (elements of independent Brexit ideology etc) as you see fit without gilt nor punishment. Seems like a win win all round as don't need to pick and choose or reject rules etc. Bit like Covid rules with those who don't mind furlough and other benefits but then have issues with other Covid policies, rules and civic duty obligations. This is a slight aside but relevant in the context of recent extended school holidays so far this year so far.

Are you always so extreme or did you just get out of bed the wrong side?
areyoubeingserviced · 15/09/2020 12:45

Before Covid- the odd day - once a year or so

After Covid- no

loulouljh · 15/09/2020 12:50

Prior to Covid I would never had done this. But now..with 6 months education missed by the government at a drop of a hat I would do it. Not that I don't value education-I think its the most important thing-but an argument that one day off will make you behind really doesn't ring true now.

loulouljh · 15/09/2020 12:53

"I wonder what message it sends to children if we do this."

I think that boat has sailed!! They have already had the message that 6 months off with varying degrees of school support is acceptable!!!! It happened. It was allowed to happen.

caringcarer · 15/09/2020 13:38

In the past I have only kept son off school once to compete in disability cricket county match where his county team had reached the national final. I had asked his special school in previous year for day off for semi final and was told no. I was not risking him not being allowed to play. I told school he had been a bit sick might before hence he could not attend. Photos in local paper on front page with child holding up cup and grinning so I am sure they must have known.

I would never allow child time out of school if not ill except as early retired teacher I know school is supposed to allow students to compete in sports tournaments. If he can get an England disability trial he will have another day off school too. Luckily he has moved schools and new school are very supportive of child's cricket.

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