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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you/have you taken dc out of school for a day for a one off day trip/treat

202 replies

shatteredmama · 14/09/2020 11:52

Just that really - dc in yr 1, had pretty much 100% attendance in yr R, has no issues, sociable, doing well..

This wouldn’t have crossed my mind previously but following two recent experiences during summer hols and a weekend when we went to Legoland/Chessington and were faced with ridiculous queues of 1.5 hr plus for rides compared with how quiet those places are today (I’ve checked queue times in their apps) it does strike me that dc would’ve had a far better experience going school time mid week with me then catching up on a bit of schoolwork at the weekend.

I’d only intend on doing this once or twice a year, I don’t expect it will sit well with the school however so am just wondering if any of you have done this and how the schools responded, or how you dealt with it if going about it a different way.

Am new to the voting thing, but please vote yes if you’d do what I’m planning or no if you wouldn’t, thanks 🙏

OP posts:
ResIpsaLoquiturInterAlia · 14/09/2020 19:14

@TheEC

After months and months of lockdown I am prioritising my child’s education.

In general I wish schools would give us two days a year where we can take them out to do such a thing.

Yes boarding schools are a somewhat different proposition. One has to wait for the right opportunities usually term break etc to enjoy some home and private time with children. I remember those days back in the day as day pupils went home daily etc while the rest of us slogged on.

ClarencesMum · 14/09/2020 19:15

I do, one day each in the run up to christmas to do something nice one to one.

My eldest still talks about those days 😊

ClarencesMum · 14/09/2020 19:17

I call the school and tell them they are having a mental health day. Which it is. Autumn term is long and dark with no breaks, it does them no harm. My boss gives us a free day in Dec too.

SparklyBookcase · 14/09/2020 19:19

I agree with you Op. I know it’s anecdotal and irrelevant in the scheme of things and a terribly unpopular opinion on MN, but in the past (years ago) we took both our children out of school for annual holidays. One Is now an aerospace engineer and the other is about to start a Masters. They (and their education) survived.

Whoopsies · 14/09/2020 19:20

I was always in the "absolutely not, education is too important" camp. But after this year I would think "sod it, there is more to life that school, kids should get the chance for some fun!" Ds will miss the last year of school next summer to go on holiday (fingers crossed!!!) And I haven't really thought twice about it!

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 14/09/2020 19:20

As a one-off, yes, in a heartbeat
Once a month, no

I took DD to London when she was 9 to see the Sonia Delaunay exhibition at TATE Britain, to eat sushi and see a bit of the sights. She missed a day of school. It was a treat to her for having given up her bedroom for 3 months for my critically ill mother to stay in. She still remembers it and goes misty eyed 5 years later. Unlike nearly any other day in Year 4.

blubberball · 14/09/2020 19:22

Usually go on the inset/teacher training days. Although sometimes the schools take the kids to theme parks for school trips, so obviously it's OK for them to skip education for a treat day with the school but not with their own family.

blissfulllife · 14/09/2020 19:27

About once a year when my kids were young I'd take one out of school for the afternoon and take them into town for a treat, or a films and duvet day, zoo etc.

They are grown up now with kids of their own and my son especially talks about those special just us days.

A sodding day won't hurt x

Bubbaella · 14/09/2020 19:32

We do this every year. We stay overnight at the Chessington hotel and have 2 days in the park. It’s our family thing. It started with dd and then ds’ came along and we never stopped. We always go term time as the queues are horrendous otherwise. We usually go end of may/beginning of June when the weathers nice. It’s perfect for us, we’ve never had to queue more than 10 mins for a ride in all the years we’ve been going.

Okaro · 14/09/2020 19:33

Do it! Memories are priceless!

I do it with mine and have done every year since they started school! School is important I won’t deny that but so are making memories with family. We usually have around 5 days throughout the year, may seem a lot but we never miss anything major and again the memories that are made from these fun days are still remembered. Smile

WellQualifiedToRepresentTheLBC · 14/09/2020 19:34

I love hearing the English, in particular, froth at the mouth about skipping school. It's incredible how weird folk get about it.

I'm non UK and people take their kids out of school for holidays/days off all the time here. No-one gets fined and the kids still get an education. Only the most deprived children are the ones whose attendance is monitored closely, since schools know who isn't getting fed, etc. and who needs to be in school to be taken care of.

YANBU OP, it's school, which is mostly a babysitting service anyway, especially in the early years.

galgaf12 · 14/09/2020 19:35

I'm a teacher and I often do this.

2-3days a year calling in sick won't harm anybody.

Go for it.

Sickoffamilydrama · 14/09/2020 19:49

No we have only ever taken kids out of school for appointments & twice for weddings.

Both DH & I could be considered successful but both our parents didn't prioritise our education & took us out of school regularly both of us feel we missed out on too much. And while we are successful now we spent a long time having to catch up.

My kids are in school unless their arms fall off & even then we get some duct tape patch them up & then they go in 🤣

Daphnise · 14/09/2020 19:58

If you are the sort that takes a child out of school for such unimportant reasons, after six months off school anyway, nothing on here is going to change your mind.

tsmainsqueeze · 14/09/2020 19:59

Absolutely yes ! , have done so , once in a blue moon .
Life is for living , i know the importance of education , but learning happens in a lot more places than just school .

isitalloveryet · 14/09/2020 20:02

Yes take the day off, I'm taking my 2 out for a day next year for a long weekend in Iceland (COVID allowing)

You won't get fined for 1 day

Hopeisnotastrategy · 14/09/2020 20:04

Normally, no if it's to just avoid the queues at a theme oark, but a bit debatable, for some things but right now, absolutely not,. Total P take.

QueenofAsgard · 14/09/2020 21:38

Yes, I did it regularly, also term time holidays. It was fine Smile

ResIpsaLoquiturInterAlia · 14/09/2020 21:46

@Daphnise

If you are the sort that takes a child out of school for such unimportant reasons, after six months off school anyway, nothing on here is going to change your mind.

Absolutely! I never knew there was such flexibility or technically truancy

stayathomer · 14/09/2020 21:47

There was one year the kids missed school due to my mum getting very sick, dh's mum getting very sick, 2 funerals (friends of the family), one of the kids having to go to hospital, another having to go to hospital, chest infections, ear infections, a bad fall ... it went on and on. The following year we had gotten to a certain point with negligable days off and we said with all the crap they'd endured the year before they deserved for once to be off for a nice reason. So we took a December friday off and travelled down to their cousins. It was all totally worth it. Life is too short and as long as they generally dont miss school, I think children are so good about being told plans are changing due to something bad, it's nice to give them a good change!

Nicetableinnit · 14/09/2020 21:50

I have done it a couple of times, totally worth it IMHO. One was a theatre trip that we won tix for, a show we couldn’t ever have afforded. Another was to see a beloved relative, time/cost meant missing a day of school. Another was for a cultural reason for a holiday not celebrated in this country.
In both cases we fibbed - fessing up would have meant big fines.
Independent and church schools still have leeway to have these things at the Heads discretion, it’s only state schools where we get hammered with fines for taking Kids out.

Jellycatspyjamas · 14/09/2020 22:28

Absolutely! I never knew there was such flexibility or technically truancy

In what way is it truancy for a parent to remove their child from school for the day?

Lollypop4 · 14/09/2020 22:34

I have.., Due to nature of mine and Dps jobs, we cant really go many places in school holidays.
One has a bday in term time and we take them out then too.
Life is too short!
He is 5, as long as it isnt often, I dont see the issue tbh

Hickorydickoryspock · 14/09/2020 22:43

As long as your kids are general good at school and are not behind on any work and could easily catch up a missed day... then personally I think this is absolutely fine. Life is for living. Just say they have a cold. Make sure your kids know its a very rare treat, not really allowed, and not to tell the school or their friends.
As long as you are sure its not going to cause problems for the school or your kids because they are doing fine educationally. If you had a child who was struggling academically I would not advise allowing them to miss any school unless they were genuinely ill.
My mum took me to Rome once for a week during year 10 school term and rang them from the swimming pool saying I had D&V. I still got straight As at gcse and that was a wonderful holiday ill never forget so...

StripyHorse · 14/09/2020 22:44

I think it all depends on the time of year and reason for the day out.

Major life events of close relatives (weddings etc) are fine and they probably gain more from that than a day in school.

Missing a couple of days at the end of the summer term to go away - they won't miss much. The exception to this is year 6 with leavers' events etc.

I would never take them out at the start of term, and without a very good reason wouldn't take them out just for a trip to a theme park.

If there is something major going on (e.g. serious illness or bereavement in the family etc) that can be different and a day to spend family time together is probably beneficial.

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