To ask whether you dream about exes?

Louisa79865 · 2020-09-11T19:43:23+00:00

Weirdly I never dream about my longest term ex (the one before I met current DP!) - but SO often I have dreams about my high school boyfriend (who I haven’t seen in probably 12 years at least??) It’s like a recurring dream! Most recently was last night, in these dreams we are always in a situation where (as adults) we are flirting, having a moment, rekindling things etc. I suppose it’s my brain revisiting things?? He caused me a lot of stress and heart break so he’s not particularly someone I want to dream about! Does this happen to anyone else? Of the several boyfriends I’ve had, he is the only one I dream about!! And I am happy with DP!

ScarMatty · 11/09/2020 20:44

All the time

Aria2015 · 11/09/2020 20:47

I only really had one proper boyfriend before my dh. It wasn't a bad relationship but there's no lingering feelings or anything and I'm much happier (and better suited to my dh). But I have a recurring (although not that frequent dream) that I cheat on my dh with this ex boyfriend. In my dream I always feel horrible guilt and like I'm going along with it so as not to hurt my ex boyfriends feelings. It's such a weird dream! Fortunately I don't have it that often, maybe once a year?!

Gilead · 11/09/2020 20:48

Nightmares, unfortunately.

Hiccupiscal · 11/09/2020 20:49

yes I do, regularly, and it really gets to me.
I really wish I didnt, I spend some much of my time looking backwards, I cannot focus on going forwards...!

Original poster

Louisa79865 · 11/09/2020 20:50

@Aria2015

I only really had one proper boyfriend before my dh. It wasn't a bad relationship but there's no lingering feelings or anything and I'm much happier (and better suited to my dh). But I have a recurring (although not that frequent dream) that I cheat on my dh with this ex boyfriend. In my dream I always feel horrible guilt and like I'm going along with it so as not to hurt my ex boyfriends feelings. It's such a weird dream! Fortunately I don't have it that often, maybe once a year?!

Sounds similar to me! Sometimes in these dreams I am with my DP and so I am sort of cheating on him with the ex but in others I’m single I think!!

Sadly things didn’t end well with said ex, although we were able to be civil when back from university during holidays and inevitably on nights out! those were the days!

OP posts:

marly11 · 11/09/2020 20:51

No. Now I think about it... weirdly never. But I think that I am like that in real life; once I have absolutely had enough of someone in a relationship then I am mentally done with them so I guess I wouldn't dream about them ... but 9 times out of then I've been the one to end it. Maybe it's more possible I might have had dreams of exes (that I don't remember) when I had not been the one to end it... maybe some of those relationships are more unresolved in my mind and I could reignite something mentally. Whereas people I've chosen to split up with myself are totally 'dead' in terms of any possibilities.

Original poster

Louisa79865 · 11/09/2020 20:51

@Gilead

Nightmares, unfortunately.

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AgeLikeWine · 11/09/2020 20:51

Yep, one in particular .

pooopypants · 11/09/2020 20:52

I do, usually my ex is drunk and / pissing the bed (alcoholic). Therapy would probably help me but hey ho

Original poster

Louisa79865 · 11/09/2020 20:52

@marly11

No. Now I think about it... weirdly never. But I think that I am like that in real life; once I have absolutely had enough of someone in a relationship then I am mentally done with them so I guess I wouldn't dream about them ... but 9 times out of then I've been the one to end it. Maybe it's more possible I might have had dreams of exes (that I don't remember) when I had not been the one to end it... maybe some of those relationships are more unresolved in my mind and I could reignite something mentally. Whereas people I've chosen to split up with myself are totally 'dead' in terms of any possibilities.

OMG this ex is the only person really who has ever broken up with me....!

Maybe this is it! Unfinished business! The long term ex I finished with but it had fizzled out so it was inevitable really.

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Notapheasantplucker · 11/09/2020 20:56

Yeah, of me throwing a rock at his head sometimes

FarTooSkinny · 11/09/2020 20:56

Last night I dreamt
That somebody loved me
No hope, no harm
Just another false alarm
Last night I felt
Real arms around me
No hope, no harm
Just another false alarm
So, tell me how long
Before the last one?
And tell me how long
Before the right one?
The story is old - I know
But it goes on
The story is old - I know
But it goes on
Oh, goes on
And on
Oh, goes on
And on

BloggersBlog · 11/09/2020 20:57

I wouldnt use the word dream.....

But when I wake up with an unrested/uneasy feeling I know he has appeared in it :-(((

movingonup20 · 11/09/2020 21:02

Yes but I was with him for 27 years! Lately they have been argumentative, certainly nothing pleasant. Dp has recently appeared in them which is nice!

Original poster

Louisa79865 · 11/09/2020 21:10

I hardly ever dream about my DP come to think of it!!

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Stamen196 · 11/09/2020 21:33

I actually just had a sexy dream about my ex last night whilst my now DP was sleeping next to me. I felt so guilty when I woke up!

stayathomer · 11/09/2020 21:36

I had the best closure dream about an ex once, I dreamt he went to kiss me and I said. 'I love my husband and anyway what would the kids think? You go back to your life and I'll go back to mine and we'll pretend this never happened.' I was so happy afterwards!!!

iwantmyownicecreamvan · 11/09/2020 22:13

I do every so often but not frequently. We were together for nearly 30 years and he has been gone for another 17 years. I haven't had another partner since (don't want one).

Irritatingly in my dreams I am always very nice to him and pleased to see him. IRL I would be no more than civil - but dream me always lets me down.