To find out baby’s gender but not tell anyone

[JemimaTiggywinkle]

I’m pregnant and want to find out the baby’s sex/gender. I want to find out because I just like to know things. I will try to challenge my own biases and won’t be imagining a future of ballet classes for a girl and football for a boy etc.

My question is, would it be weird to find out ourselves and not tell anyone else?

My reason for considering this is that I don’t want to get loads of gendered pink/blue/ daddy’s little princess babygro type presents. I don’t want people to decide what baby’s future should be based on their gender, before they’re even born.

Also, MIL has made general comments in the past about how if she ever has a granddaughter she hopes she wouldn’t be as big and tall as grandson (my nephew) because it’s “not nice” for a little girl. I want to avoid comments like that.

To be clear, we would tell people after the baby was born... I guess I’m just hoping to hold of the inevitable for a little while.

Also I know there is nothing wrong with choosing to dress your baby in pink/blue etc, but it’s my preference not to.

You're not obliged to divulge any info regarding your pregnancy, I'm not quite sure why you think YABU if you don't. We didn't want to know the sex of our baby, but my obstetrician accidentally told me. We just told everyone we didn't know.

I think if you find out you may give it away by referring to the baby as he/she.

I was a bit naughty when pregnant with my son (second child, after DD first). I wanted to know the sex in advance but my hubby didn't. I went to the scan alone as he was working and asked about the sex of the baby. They told me and I kept it to myself for the duration of the pregnancy, telling no-one - not my hubby, parents or anyone. To this day, he doesn't know that I knew. I feel bad about the deceit sometimes, but I wanted to know and he didn't, and I didn't want to spoil the surprise for him.

I agree with others that showing off about having a secret is annoying. Find out and lie, say you plan to dress the baby in brights/neutrals/unisex and aren’t keen on exclusively pink or blue.

I let my DH decide whether or not we should find out thr gender. He decided that we should, but that we shouldn't tell people the gender but still disclose that we knew. He didn't like the idea of being dishonest. It's been driving me crazy and I feel like I have to constantly watch what I'm saying. Never again!