NC as I know I’m being totally ridiculous but I can’t help it!
I have 2 DC (4 and 3yo). Both have just started a new school on Monday, one in reception, the other in nursery. They have both attended private nursery from being babies and are confident, friendly children. They have always been well liked by staff, other parents and children (not boasting, just that it’s relevant to what I’m about to say).
They both went in to school on the first day with beaming smiles despite having never met any of the staff or other children and not knowing the building.
When they came out on the first day, both were happy, although they said they hadn’t played with anyone (fair enough, it was their first day). On the second day, they again went in smiling, DC1’s teacher made a remark about him always looking so happy (lovely!) When they came out, DC2 said she was a bit sad as none of the other boys and girls would play with her. When we walked back past DC1’s class on the way out, he saw his teacher still outside. He ran up and gave her a hug, she looked a bit taken aback but dealt with it with good grace, DC2 then ran over to say hello and teacher remarked ‘oh, who are you?’ (Fair enough, they have lots of new faces to learn)
Day 3, both went in smiling. When they came out, DC1 spotted 2 girls from his class while we were waiting for DC2 to come out. He said excitedly ‘look mummy, those girls are in my class!’ and ran over to them, giving one of them a hug. She pushed him away. I explained to DC1 that not all children like to be hugged and suggested that maybe he should try asking them to play instead. So he ran over to them and asked if they wanted him to make them an ice cream (as there was a pretend ice cream shop on the yard). They ignored him and ran off. He came back over to me, looking a little sad, and said ‘they don’t want an ice cream’. I explained that maybe they just didn’t want to play right now. DC2 came out, happy, but when asked how her day had been, she replied that she had been a bit sad because none of the children would play with her. I said I’m sure she had been playing with other children in the day and she replied no, she asked but nobody wanted to play. I assumed she was just being an absent minded 3 year old.
Then this morning, day 4. Again, both went in smiling. We have an early drop off for DC1 and then wait 30 mins for DC2 to go in. We were the first to arrive at DC2’s classroom. About 5 minutes later, another child arrived. DC2 got excited, saying ‘Hi Charlie!’ (not real name). The 2 children started playing with each other, chasing each other around and giggling together. This went on for about 5 mins, until other children started to arrive. Another little boy wanted to join in the game and so they carried on playing, until the second little boy told DC2 she couldn’t play anymore. DC2 came over to me looking sad, saying she liked little boy 1 but she didn’t like little boy 2 as he wouldn’t let her play anymore. I explained to her that it wasn’t kind to say that and she couldn’t be little boy 1’s only friend. There were other children waiting by that point, so I encouraged her to go and ask another child if they wanted to play. She skipped off happily to do this, approached another little girl and said ‘Hi Fiona, do you want to play with me?’ only to get the answer ‘no’.
I feel like everything they are trying is getting shoved back in their faces. Are all children this age so unfriendly? I wasn’t expecting this at all. I know I should just be happy they’re going in smiling as they must enjoy it when they’re there, but as an adult my heart is breaking for them because they’re trying so hard to be accepted and getting nowhere! The whole school environment just seems so impersonal and unfriendly, which I was expecting to a certain extent, but certainly not from 3 and 4 year old children!
I guess I’m just missing our lovely old nursery 😭
Please can somebody knock some sense into me? 🤣