Using surname initial to distinguish between two children with almost same name - almost!

[NewLookings]

Am I being very precious about this? My child has just started big school and is one of two children with a name that is pronounced the same but spelled differently.

I get that verbally they will need to be distinguished by their surname eg Bob A and Bob B. But when written down, is it really necessary? This is not the name but is a close likeness:

Juliet
Juliette

In everything, I have noticed my child’s is referred to as Juliet A and the other Juliette B. Surely this isn’t needed? Her tray, her work on the wall, her name on the class whatsapp group etc etc always with the surname initial.

I KNOW I’m being a bit precious. I know this. And yes, I’m disappointed there’s another one as it’s not a very common name.

AIBU to think there is a difference here because of the different spelling?

We're just moving this thread over to our 30 days only topic.

OP is definitely NOT from a “teaching family” (whatever the heck that is). That’s just what everyone says on here to try to negate the fact that they’re criticising a teacher for no good reason at all.

Even if she was from a “teaching family”, how on earth would that qualify her to actually know what teaching entails, and what goes on in a classroom? My brother and I are both teachers. My parents aren’t, and don’t have much of a clue about what happens in our classrooms, nor does my husband.

Anyway, beyond the ridiculous complaint, the bit I can’t get past is that this is a secondary school form group where the parents have a whatsapp group...

Why move it?

Just delete it if it's a bit too much for the OP!

I was MomToTwoBabas 2 at school and another girl in my year was MomToTwoBabas1 as she was born first. Not a big deal OP. Drama lama

Yes, can’t it be deleted? It’s not nice when a thread is pretty much entirely YABU.

I don’t actually think you’re being that unreasonable in thinking it’s not necessary to have the initial when the names are written down. If the spellings are different then they can be identified by that. I’m not sure it’s much easier for people to remember that Juliet S is the one with the fringe and Juliette Y is the one with the freckles than it is for people to remember that Juliet with one ‘T’ is the one with the fringe and Juliette with ‘2 Ts and an E’ is the one with the freckles.

Given that some of your posts have been deleted I’m assuming that you’ve not been very pleasant though. YABU for that

Eh? I don't get the big deal. I was one of three Jennifers in my infant class. I suffered no lasting damage by having my last initial added to my name.

I don’t actually think you’re being that unreasonable in thinking it’s not necessary to have the initial when the names are written down.

It's been explained several times that it is because they sound the same. "Put that in Juliet's tray" "It's next to Juliette's artwork". Which Juliet/te's tray or artwork is it? Given they will already be referred to as Juliet A and Juliette Z it makes perfect sense to label things that way too.

Sorry you're being precious. You choose a name because you like it - can't expect to be the only one, it's Sod's Law I'm afraid.

You are being precious. Very.

I have read almost all of this thread in the hopes of finding out what the issue is. I really don't understand why this bothers you OP. There are so many things to fret over in life I would strongly advise you not to give this anymore headspace . As everybody above has said it is not an issue .

Also, this thread has reminded me of The Four Marys from Bunty.

It's been explained several times that it is because they sound the same. "Put that in Juliet's tray" "It's next to Juliette's artwork". Which Juliet/te's tray or artwork is it? Given they will already be referred to as Juliet A and Juliette Z it makes perfect sense to label things that way too.

Yes. I understand that the initial is necessary when they are being spoken as they sound the same. The OP isn’t complaining about it being used verbally though.

It would be very unlikely that a student would need to know which Juliet was which from it being written down. Exercise books will have surnames on too, and the odds of a student having to put something in Juliet’s tray are small.

I’m not saying I’d feel the need to start a mumsnet thread about it, I just agree it’s probably not really necessary. Two children I volunteer with have the same name but with different spellings and while I say ‘KarlawithaK’ and ‘CarlawithaC’ when I write anything down or label anything I just write Karla or Carla. It is admittedly slightly easier with first letters though.

It has already been explained why it's done.

The children & other staff will not remember which one is Juliet & which one is Juliette because they sound the same. Juliet A & Juliette B sound different & will attach to each child.

So if there's artwork on the wall with just Juliet the children (and other staff) won't know which child it belongs to. If it's Juliet B - they will.

🤷🏻‍♀️

I had one of tne most popular girls names in the 70s and 80s, there was 6 off us in my class so surname initials where used. We where not traumatised by this in fact we all plus our parents found it amusing.

When I was teaching years ago, one year we had 4 Matthews in one tutor group. The poor lads were full named by everyone for their entire school life. They coped though.

At work, about 6 or 7 years ago, I worked for a while with a colleague of the same name. We were Shiny P and Shiny T. She left after a year, and I've been the only Shiny in our workplace for over 5 years now, and lots of colleagues still call me Shiny T. It's hardly a big deal, is it, really?

I don’t think I’m making my point very well here.

I wouldn’t find it any easier to remember the surname initial than I would the spelling. For example, a class might have 2 Georges in the class (same spelling) and 2 Juliets with different spellings. It would take me the same amount of time to remember that George A has the glasses and George B has the earring than it would to remember that JulieT has the fringe and JulietTE has the freckles. As I’ve said, I volunteer with two girls who have the same name with different spellings and the adults and other children have picked it up very quickly which is which. It would be a bit different at a primary school, but I think secondary school students can make an attempt to remember. Plus secondary schools generally have so many students and staff that Juliet A’s artwork probably wouldn’t mean much more to them than just Juliet’s artwork unless they knew them personally, and if they knew them personally they would probably know which one was which. I have worked in a couple of schools, so I’m not coming from a place of complete ignorance.

As I said, I wouldn’t feel the need to start a thread about it or say anything to the school, as I don’t think it really matters. I just thought the OP was getting a bit of a hard time and I could see her point.

@Stripesgalore

Lewis and Louis are pronounced differently.

Not always! DS has the Louis spelling as one of his middles names but the Lewis pronunciation. Was named after his great grandad who had the same pronunciation and spelling.

4 year old me would probably have been able to read either of those names as making the same sounds, but not remember which spelling attached to which girl. (At least I know I struggled with Katy/ Katie and also Claire and Clare). I would have been able to remember that Jones begins with J and Smith begins with and S, so I could have looked at a picture and known which of my classmates painted it.
Perhaps that made 4/5 year old me a bad person in OPs eyes? ( And 5 year old me would have written Jooleeet most likely, unless I had been taught to spell that name particularly. (With the J back to front as likely as not.)
I'm sure 5 year old me would have found letters after Emelia and Amelia useful. I couldn't be relied on to remember which Steven was Stephen and which was Steven even by y3, although the class size was about 40. and the 4 Davids, 4 Pauls and 3 Marks always had their surname attached.
I'm guessing by the use of the word "Big School" and the description of the teacher, not the children writing the names, that young not-Juliet is starting in reception.

Isn't this how nicknames come about? I know at least 2 people who became for example JB as their name is say James Brown and at school there was a James T. When I worked with lots of Rachels, they were always called nicknames too, often a version of their surname.

@NewLookings

It's a method to make things easier in class, simple as that

But for art work on the wall? They didn’t need to surname that, did they?

That's for the kids. The children know who is who by their names. My DD is known as Sophie S, the other Sophie is Sophie R. She also has friends who are named James P and James F. It's not a problem for any of them. They know exactly who they are and who they are talking about.

There are rappers and musicians who pick names with a letter. Doesn't do them any harm either.

They don't know differently, but I do know how you feel

@cocomarine

Total non-event.
My sister’s middle name is Scarlett, and age still remembers mum looking for her birth certificate when filling out a form as she couldn’t remember if she’d chosen Scarlett or Scarlet grin**

I've done that with my youngest DD third name...

@thesquirrelsnuts

We do this at work, there's me (not my actual name) Jenny and a colleague Jennie. We're always referred to as Jenny B and Jennie F and we both refer to ourselves this way too.

All the Mohammeds agree among themselves what they should be called - they're currently Abdul, Hamed, Big Mohammed, Office Mohammed and just Mohammed, who joined first so gets first dibs.

It's clearer to everyone and prevents confusion.

All the Mohammed’s tickled me for some reason. I’m sat giggling in the dark

What was the reasoning behind ‘Office Mohammed?’

We had an abundance of James’ at uni. They became, Scottish, Yorkshire, Gay and Breville (He’d never encountered a sandwich toaster ). Gay James didn’t start the year off gay, but he was by the end of it. I’m not entirely certain if he was liberated or bullied into it

@HelpMeh

Think yourself lucky! When I was at school there were three of us with my name. Two of us had the same last initial. So we became the equivalent of Juliet Ba and Juliet Bo.

This is quite standard practice and really not worth getting annoyed about.

I was the same - went through primary school as 'Juliet Pa' and there was another girl called 'Juliet Ph'. It was purely for the teacher and naming our work. All the children just called us by our first names and I've never been called it since. Didn't bother me

YABU. Welcome to my world, all 48 years of it and I'm still one of 5 in my workplace and referred to as firstnamelastname. You get used to it.