My DH thinks I'm being a bit unreasonable so I can't really complain at him anymore. So I'll complain at you lot instead, and even if you all think I'm unreasonable as well, at least I'll have got it off my chest.
It's all fairly minor stuff but I'm just a little bit annoyed and can't tell if it's justified!
Before lockdown my toddler was in nursery for a couple of days a week and looked after by my parents for 1 day a week while I was working. However since lockdown we were working from home and she was home with us. My DH has gone back to work most days so most of the last 6 months has been me and my DD at home which has been lovely, like getting another maternity leave.
But now that things are slowly getting back to normal, I have been asked to do the odd day in the office and yesterday was my first day back. My DH happened to be working from home anyway so was fine to have DD, but my parents offered to pick her up and take her out for the day just to make it easier for him to get some work done.
Now, this is where I think I might be being a bit precious (I'll admit there is a touch of PFB with me and my DD!). Her normal routine is to have lunch fairly early (before 12pm) before going straight for a nap where she'll have about 2 hours sleep. My parents took her out to the park near where they live, and this kid will happily stay on the swing until the cows come home, she literally needs dragging away. But obviously grandparents don't like saying no to her, so when they're still sending me pictures of her in the playground at 1:30pm I start gently suggesting she needs feeding (she'd had breakfast at 7:30am). So they finally took her to have lunch about 2pm, meaning she didn't get to nap until very late and therefore only got about half an hour to sleep before needing to be woken up to come home (it's a decent drive between our houses).
So, all of that has me a bit annoyed just because I don't want my PFB to be hungry and tired, but at the same time I realise grandparents are more likely to prioritise having fun over sticking to routine.
But what I'm mostly upset about is that when I got handed her back after work she had quite clearly not had her nappy changed at all for the whole day. She was completely sodden and absolutely stank. Also, she has a pretty nasty bruise. Now I'm not daft - I'm well aware that toddlers are walking disaster zones and they're going to get hurt no matter what. But this definitely didn't happen without some tears or drama or knowing what happened, but there was no mention of any of that (like I am confident had she been at nursery for the day they'd have had a chat with me about what happened). To clarify before anyone asks - I am in no way insinuating she was hurt deliberately and that's definitely not what would have happened.
So DH thinks IABU because basically, DD had a great day (which is true - despite looking like a puffy eyed zombie reeking of wee, she was in a lovely mood when I picked her up). She adores my parents and they adore her. They didn't deliberately do anything wrong, they just wanted to spend all their time having fun.
My opinion is that while obviously I want them to have fun when they're out together, I think if they're looking after her for the day they need to prioritise things she NEEDS (food, sleep and nappy changes) over things she wants (staying on the swings until she passes out).
Basically I want to have a chat with them about those things before they take her for the day again. DH thinks I should just leave it, because they all had fun and at the moment they aren't looking after her that often. But then, if the world goes back to normal fully, they probably would be helping regularly again.
Who is right? I admit some of my annoyance might be stemming from the fact that it was my first day leaving her in 6 months; obviously I missed her a lot! And I didn't like worrying that she was hungry or tired or unchanged while I couldn't help. I suspect the answer is somewhere in the middle (i.e. can't expect grandparents to stick to a nap routine but they should definitely be changing nappies).
Tell me if I'm being too precious, I can handle it (I think)!
Sorry it was long, apparently I am not concise.