To insist my nearly 15 year old son stops playing on Xbox at 9pm on school night.

[Decoqueen]

Just that really. He's got into bad habits through lock down and summer hols. Our fault as parents as well as his.

Would be really grateful to hear from people with similar age teenagers, and what time they are expected to 'switch off'.

Have told him 9 pm. He's got the roof. ALL his friends play 'later'.

Sorry HIT the roof.

What is your reason for saying 9pm? Is it because you want him away from screens for a certain amount of time to “wind down” before bed, or is it just that you think he spends too long on there? Could you compromise by saying he’s allowed to stay on it later, but needs to start playing later instead, so it’s the same time spent on there in total.

Ive told my 15 year old to be off at 10 and in bed by 11 but we have to be up at 7 to get to school in the mornings. What time does he get up for school? 9pm is quite early for that age, esp if he's playing with friends, could he play on a bit later but still only play a certain number of hours, and maybe he has to have bag packed and uniform ready before he goes on so he can pretty much go straight to bed after?

My DS15 used to have to put his Xbox controllers and phone in our room by 11pm, this stretched out to 11:30pm/midnight during lockdown and remote schooling (in Australia) and now he just keeps it in his room all night as we were sick of waiting up for him and arguing about it.
We thought it would teach him to manage his time better.
Seems he is still awake anywhere up to 1-2am some nights and I have to hassle him to wake up of a morning 🙄 here's hoping he learns it's not sustaining eventually

Mine gets time from coming in from school till 5pm. No later. So 1.5 hours, then he is off. We stopped it being in his bedroom though. He gets longer at weekends.

hm similar issues here although film watching rather than xbox as she is a bit of a film buff. I only worry if she can't get up in the am and so far she is doing that.

Absolutely no way would my 15 year old be gaming etc on a school night after 9pm. It is their GCSE year, and every day counts, especially given the loss of education already!

YADNBU

Compromise at the weekends, hold firm on school nights, and be prepared to take it away altogether. His future depends on his results this year, it would be irresponsible to do anything else.

10pm here and in bed for 10.30, Sunday to Thursday night.
His friends all come off around this time, if that helps.

My DS 14 is so tired going back to School that fortunately I dont have to worry too much at the moment.
However that said I'm quite flexible so long as he gets up for School, does his homework, showers etc.
I've never enforced a 'switch off rule' I just cant be arsed really and don't see the point. It's something he and practically every teenage boy enjoys so it's not something I feel I need to control.

I guess if it impacted School in any way then I would reconsider and impose sanctions.

pas high stakes choice on letting him stay up to 2am and choosing to turn it off himself, particularly as it sounds like a low level addiction -how is ever going to be able to function or doing anything well at school the following day?

If he hit the roof that’s an issue, he seems to be under the mistaken impression that he’s in charge.

I’d be taking the Xbox for a bit until he learned that he didn’t make the rules.

9pm is late enough on a school night.

The concern will be that given it is such a key year, you won't see 'the impact' until it is too late and he fails his GCSEs. Personally some kind of work ethic, well being and focus is needed term time. We relax completely during the holidays, but term time everyone is focused and energised on school and early nights are absolutely essential.

My real issue is with my DD 13 who is constantly on her phone. She was on a group chat around midnight when I popped my head in her room last night. I got angry but let it go, didn't take her phone off her, maybe I should have but didnt see the point halfway through her conversation which finished its natural course 5 mins later anyway.

My DC go to bed when theyre tired. I can't enforce this as half the time I'm in bed before them as I get tired after work.

I must add that DD fell asleep once she got home from School for a few hours which is why she was awake so late and on her phone, hence I was more understanding if a tad annoyed.

It's 9 for my 16 year old - and in fairness even when schools were shut or on weekends he tends to turn it off about then too

I say everything off and in bed by 11pm for my 15year old. 9pm seems a bit early

Thanks all. He gets 3 hours a day to please get myself. (Always chooses to play x box or watch TV) He has about an hours homework (which will increase as he's just gone into year 10) and he spends an hour having dinner and sound some washing up as well as spending time with us. He is lights on off at 10.30pm. He gets up at 6.45am.

*aggghhh.....please himself!

I have a 15yo DS. PlayStation goes off at 9pm on weeknights, 11pm on Friday/Saturday nights.
Apparently I am very unfair and all his friends are allowed to play much later.
However, bearing in mind he is on it roughly 2 hours every evening and probably about 6 hours on Saturdays and 6 hours on Sundays, I think that’s enough.
It’s always a bone of contention in our house but after a week or so he got used to it and accepted the rules when I threatened to reduce the time further

This is interesting.

I'm just wondering how to reaffirm boundaries after lockdown meant the DC were gaming/watching TV every evening.

I'm aiming for 9.30 at the moment for DS2 (13) and cutting DS1 (15) a bit more slack but definitely want him off devices by around 10/10.15 at the absolute latest.

They have very long days at school (8am - 5.30pm) so I think they need their sleep! I certainly do.

I feel he needs time to switch off mentally from games before going to sleep. He needs eight hours sleep minimum at his age. Especially when getting up for school. I thought I'd ask the question here as he assures me that I'm the only uptight parent who insists on these ridiculous rules. I have a couple of friends with boys of the same age, they also parent in a similar way to me. Thanks for all your our opinions.

Yes he got very cross and upset, but think that's probably due to the current situation. He hasn't needed to get up for school for 6 months, and as such the rules at home have been more relaxed. He is a creature of habit, so think it will be tough for a week or two and then he'll have to get used to it.

Ds (y10) turns the PS4 off at 10 then irons a shirt, has a shower then gets ready for bed.
He can wake up at 8am and get to school easily on time so possibly unfair.
On Friday and Saturday nights he's allowed to turn off at midnight and gets up about 10am.
He copes with this now but I know that with darker mornings it will get harder so might need adjusting.

My y9 (almost 14) has to be off Xbox and stop talking to friends by 10 at the latest and be settling down to sleep by 10.30. He has said he will come off between 9.30 and 10 to give him a bit of time to watch you tube when he feels like it. If his 3 close friends, 1 must be off at 9.30 and the other 2 by 10.

We have agreed to the plan by having a discussion and so far he has got up ok (after being pretty nocturnal during lockdown).

I think 9 for a 15 yo is harsh/to early.

I should add that our console is in a corner of the dining room and he drops his phone and laptop into our bedroom at the agreed time as well so we aren't trusting him to stay off them while theyre in his room. We've spoken about it and I've said that we will continue to do this during term time until he finishes school - obviously this may well change as he gets older but Id like to keep it that way as long as possible

If he had lights off at 10.30 I think 9.30 would be reasonable.