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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to let 14yo DD go on a day trip to London?

86 replies

MoFoFlo · 09/09/2020 21:35

It's DD's 14th birthday soon and she's said she would like to go to London for the day with her best friend who's 15. We're in Manchester, so a 2 hour train ride away. They're planning to go to Oxford Street and Covent Garden to go shopping and visit a cafe they've seen on Instagram. Both girls are pretty sensible, used to big cities and have been to London with parents several times.

I would have done this sort of trip in my early teens and am more than happy for her to go. However, DH thinks she's too young and it's too dangerous Hmm.

Would you let your 14 year old go?

OP posts:
starfishmummy · 09/09/2020 21:37

No

ItWorriesMeThisKindofThing · 09/09/2020 21:40

I wouldn’t let mine go alone but I’d be happy to go with them, entertain myself for most of the time and arrange to meet up every 2 hours or so

Healththrowaway199 · 09/09/2020 21:49

I would, but I’m a born and bred Londoner so don’t find it particularly dangerous.

If they’re travelling into Euston, Oxford st is practically down the road/a few short stops on the Victoria line, so the scope for them getting majorly lost is low. Especially as they’ve been several times. Maybe get them to download maps of their London route on their phones so it can be accessed offline, make sure they have chargers/powerbanks and emergency taxi funds etc

Obviously keep checking in with them throughout the day. I think the idea of going down with them but just meeting up throughout the day sounds good.

RedHelenB · 09/09/2020 21:50

14 going on 15 yes. Just turned 14 maybe not.

Healththrowaway199 · 09/09/2020 21:52

Also with the cafe, see if they take bookings as you can ensure that they’ll be able to visit - I dunno which cafe it is but if it’s insta famous they might be fully booked or too busy for walk ins

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 09/09/2020 21:52

No, too young. Plus SD is still in place so 2m apart all day on a day trip would be very hard to comply with so definitely a no.

Healththrowaway199 · 09/09/2020 21:53

Oh and one benefit of you going down with them is that you can be their personal photographerSmile as they’ll probably want to take pics

AnathemaPulsifer · 09/09/2020 21:56

At 14 I’d be going with them and meeting up to come home. Once they’ve done it one time with a parent on hand I’d probably let them go it alone the next time.

Things happen. Train lines are closed due to ‘person on the tracks’. My kids have had to come back on a different route before now. That’s harder to do when you’ve come from a long way away. 14 is young to deal with that.

MitziK · 09/09/2020 21:58

Yes.

They'll have money, phones and it's nothing worse than what thousands of 14 year olds do to get to school every day.

tenlittlecygnets · 09/09/2020 21:59

No way. Far too far for 14yos, never mind Covid. I'd go with them.

PolarBearStrength · 09/09/2020 22:01

Used to do this from Brighton from 13. Went to Thorpe Park a lot with friends too, which involved changing trains and a shuttle bus. We survived. London’s probably quite nice at the moment with less people about although I personally wouldn’t want to sit on a train for 2 hours in a mask.

iolaus · 09/09/2020 22:04

If I lived close to London I probably would (ie that was the local city) but not 200 miles away

Feelingconfused2020 · 09/09/2020 22:04

I would but I don't have a 14 year old yet and don't live as far from London as you.

The only thing I would worry about is probably me being paranoid but is it possible they have met someone on line who has suggested this cafe on Instagram? Could they be meeting some boys they've met online there? Why would they go all that way for a particular cafe?

Assuming that's nonsense then surely there's no more danger than in Manchester? I can't see how a train journey is dangerous and the rest is just shopping in a city.

Dilligaf81 · 09/09/2020 22:05

At that age I was taking my 2 younger siblings aged 6 and 7 into London for the day. OK it was only an hour away on the train but if they are sensible, have access to money and phones id be happy.
They are used to big cities which I think would be my biggest concern.
I don't know how some people think kids get streetwise without ever being more than 10 steps away from a parent.

legalseagull · 09/09/2020 22:07

I wouldn't because you're too far away if anything went wrong. I'd travel with them, leave them to it and meet at home time to get the train back

Dilligaf81 · 09/09/2020 22:08

feelingconfused2020 believe me insta famous places are what my 14, 15 and 16 Yr olds plan trips around. At least they are visiting places I suppose.

Another option OP is to make sure the track the phone setting is on. Tell your daughter (as I think it's snide to have these things without a child's knowledge and consent) that it's a non negotiable condition of her going.

Iamuhtredsonofuhtred · 09/09/2020 22:10

I live in London and am all for giving kids freedom- my 11 year old is getting the bus to a different part of the city alone for school. However I wouldn’t be ok with this. If anything happens you are so far away. Go with them.

HandfulofDust · 09/09/2020 22:13

I guess I would be thinking of worst case scenario and will they cope. Most sensible 14 year olds could handle a normal day in London without issue. I guess I'd just want to be confident that they could handle it if something went majorly wrong - e.g. major terrorist incident or something so travel became restricted. Or less dramatically they were mugged and had their bags stolen. A problem with the rail network etc.

If you're unsure could you take the train down with them (even in a different carriage) and just mooch around London to be on hand if needed.

Womencanlift · 09/09/2020 22:13

I was going to say the same about the cafe - I live in London and when some friends and family visit they always ask to go to certain cafes because they have seen them on the gram!

OP if you do let them go just make sure they are aware of Covid requirements such as giving details for track and trace when they go into cafes (particularly after today’s announcement). May be something that a 14 year old may not be aware of and feel funny about doing

Macncheeseballs · 09/09/2020 22:23

I would let them

stovetopespresso · 09/09/2020 22:26

if they're mature yes and also extra £50 (to be given back) if they get totally stuck

TheNanny23 · 09/09/2020 22:30

I’m in Manchester, when I was 14 my parents let me get the train to Blackpool with friends and I still have such good memories of it!

However, I think with London you need to get the train with them. If she was going anywhere in the North you could realistically pick her up if the trains went to rubbish. With London that’s way trickier. Get the train and you go do something else while they do their thing. Then next time they can go without you. She needs to prove she can manage journey planning. I say this as a 20 something who has had to ring my husband to pick me up from another Northern city as I missed the last train!

modgepodge · 09/09/2020 22:32

I’m trying to think when I first started to do this. Certainly by 15, maybe at 14. And we were very rural and not at all used to big cities!! So I’m leaning toward yes - though I may have changed my mind in 13 years when my daughter asks 😂

speakout · 09/09/2020 22:34

NO.

zoomzoghedgehog · 09/09/2020 22:36

Far far too young