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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to let 14yo DD go on a day trip to London?

86 replies

MoFoFlo · 09/09/2020 21:35

It's DD's 14th birthday soon and she's said she would like to go to London for the day with her best friend who's 15. We're in Manchester, so a 2 hour train ride away. They're planning to go to Oxford Street and Covent Garden to go shopping and visit a cafe they've seen on Instagram. Both girls are pretty sensible, used to big cities and have been to London with parents several times.

I would have done this sort of trip in my early teens and am more than happy for her to go. However, DH thinks she's too young and it's too dangerous Hmm.

Would you let your 14 year old go?

OP posts:
zoemum2006 · 09/09/2020 22:38

Nope. I'd go with them but give them plenty of space. Maybe arrange a meeting place and say 'see you back here in a couple of hours - keep your phone on!'

Aquamarine1029 · 09/09/2020 22:38

If it were a short hop, I might consider it. At least 2 hours away, NO.

Comefromaway · 09/09/2020 22:43

No. I live half an hour south of Manchester and dd was 17 before I allowed that, the reason being that we’ve been to London as a family several times where trains have been cancelled. One time we were in the verge of having to book in a hotel overnight. A child can’t do that.

Dd now has several friends who study in London who she could call on/stay with in an emergency. My kids are very comfortable with getting around London but it was just too far.

katy1213 · 09/09/2020 22:46

They'll be fine - although they might be sorely disappointed by Oxford Street!

Frazzled2207 · 09/09/2020 22:47

Hmm i’m in Manchester and go to London quite a lot (when not in lockdown).
I’d be travelling with them (not sit with them) there and back and go and meet up with a friend of mine while there.

yikesanotherbooboo · 09/09/2020 22:49

I'm really surprised by all these Nos. I would let them go if the girls were reasonably sensible and were themselves happy to go. They will be together and have methods of communication. It will be an adventure and a learning experience. My biggest concern would be missing the train back , getting upset and potentially incurring extra costs.

CatsArePeopleToo · 09/09/2020 22:49

How far? Is it a straight bus/train trip with no changes?

Comefromaway · 09/09/2020 22:51

@yikesanotherbooboo

I'm really surprised by all these Nos. I would let them go if the girls were reasonably sensible and were themselves happy to go. They will be together and have methods of communication. It will be an adventure and a learning experience. My biggest concern would be missing the train back , getting upset and potentially incurring extra costs.
I take it you’ve never been stuck in Euston station with all trains out of London cancelled & people scrambling to find somewhere to stay overnight.

Or had to get off a train at Rugeley Trent Valley to wade through flooding in order to get a taxi back (& have the cash to pay it up front).

SlipperyLizard · 09/09/2020 22:52

I lived closer (probably an hour away) but in the early 90s I would go to London at 13 with a friend to play laser quest at the trocadero with no mobile phones. I think 14 year olds with mobiles will be fine, I don’t think London has become any more dangerous (although perception is probably different)

Spied · 09/09/2020 22:52

No way.

Comefromaway · 09/09/2020 22:54

@SlipperyLizard

I lived closer (probably an hour away) but in the early 90s I would go to London at 13 with a friend to play laser quest at the trocadero with no mobile phones. I think 14 year olds with mobiles will be fine, I don’t think London has become any more dangerous (although perception is probably different)
An hour away would be fine. I’d have had no problem with mine having a day out in Birmingham for example as in an emergency I’d just get in the car to go get them.

But it’s about a 4 hour drive to London.

Healththrowaway199 · 09/09/2020 22:55

To those using train issues as a reason not to go, are you aware that train companies have a legal obligation to get you to your destination? This means that the train company must get you home by alternative means (including taxi) or provide overnight accommodation, at their expense. They wouldn’t leave teenagers stranded, they would be a priority.

weasle · 09/09/2020 22:55

I have a sensible 14yo and live in London (zone ⅔). I'd not be desperately happy him going to town all day. Certainly wouldn't want him going to another city. But he's my eldest so maybe I'm overprotective?

AvoidingRealHumans · 09/09/2020 22:55

I was going to say yes but seeing comments saying you are so far away if anything happens I have swayed to a yes, but you go too and then let them do their thing and you do yours. So you're nearby but not intruding on their day.

MomToTwoBabas · 09/09/2020 22:56

No. But I did

Browntile · 09/09/2020 22:56

No I wouldn’t. Sorry 😐

Comefromaway · 09/09/2020 23:00

@Healththrowaway199

To those using train issues as a reason not to go, are you aware that train companies have a legal obligation to get you to your destination? This means that the train company must get you home by alternative means (including taxi) or provide overnight accommodation, at their expense. They wouldn’t leave teenagers stranded, they would be a priority.
You have to pay upfront and claim it back afterwards. And a 14 year old can’t stay in a hotel without an adult.

On the night at the flooding there were 200 people Stranded at Stafford station Trying to get to Liverpool & Manchester and a 2-3 hour wait for a taxi. We never made it to Stafford.

The night of the person on the tracks in London was chaos. Ds & dh finally got home at 12.30am instead of 8pm.

Healththrowaway199 · 09/09/2020 23:07

@Comefromaway I don’t know what year your experiences are from but that isn’t the case. The train companies arrange the taxis or hotels themselves, it will already be paid for so you wouldn’t be asked for payment at all. You just need to speak to the right people eg station staff or train station help points. Don’t get me wrong, you can pay yourself and claim later if you want to but you don’t have to.

PointlessUsername · 09/09/2020 23:10

No and i say that as a parent who Lives in London with teenagers.

I would tag along and meet up later to travel home together.

RealityExistsInTheHumanMind · 09/09/2020 23:10

Of course

It will be a brilliant day out for her and will stand you in good stead as a parent as she gets older.

TheNanny23 · 09/09/2020 23:13

@Healththrowaway199

That as may be but it’s pretty stressful and probably going to be a daunting experience for a 14 year old.

There is also just the normal parts of journey planning; platform changes, cancellations, delays, allowing enough time to get to your destination.

Healththrowaway199 · 09/09/2020 23:19

@TheNanny23 true, I could imagine teenagers leaving it too late to get to the station and missing the train etc

ChristmasSnowball · 09/09/2020 23:25

Just turned 14.... No way...

Can you go with them and do other stuff, and meet up with them later on to come home.

No way in a million years would i let, badically a 13 year old do thsi

Glitteryone · 09/09/2020 23:35

No but we live extremely rural. My kids aren’t streetwise at all.

Dawnlassie · 09/09/2020 23:41

Depends how streetwise she is. But probably not.