The system is completely broken, and frustration at that broken system is why I left teaching in the end. I have no SEN children myself, but have taught a great many over the years in both MS and SN schools. I have seen SEND done very badly over the years, and more often that not when it has been done well it has been due to individual teachers/TAs who have excelled.
As a friend, the advice I have given to my close friend with SEND has, at times, been contrary to what my own school/LA has been equip to offer.
As a teacher I would fight tooth and nail for the best support for my little ones. I have sat in recent staff meetings horrified at how SEN support staff are split/stretched between children. This wasn’t the case, even a few years ago, at least not to this extent anyway. Each parent believed that as ‘their’ child had funding, that money employed a member of staff to work with their child.
When I argued the case, about how little support each child was getting, the response was “there is no longer such a thing as 1:1 support, funding only stretches so far as to give a child support but that may need to be linked with another child’s access to support.” Often this means a placid child with SEN gets far less than their entitlement as the more ‘disruptive’ children.
Far too many times the school business manager/the lady in the office took my class, so I could support a child who was having a meltdown, because support was already too stretched. That is on a good day. It all breaks down further if there is staff illness as there is literally no money to pay for supply.
The saddest case was a child with ASD and ADHD. He would spend the majority of his school days out of the classroom because his outbursts involved throwing furniture and poo. He had broken staff bones on more than one occasion and understandably when TAs got placed with him they would automatically seek advice from their unions. It took until he was in KS2 for him to be able to apply for a place in a special school. However, by that point he had so many incidences of exclusions due to violent behaviour the special schools declined him saying they couldn’t cater for his needs. He spent far too long in a PRU until finally finding a school to accent him in a completely different authority.
It should never get this far! The government need to massively increase the budget for SEND. More special schools, funding that can actually afford to fund what it is promising, early support and recognition. These children would all benefit massively from early intervention, the number of children that arrive at school and the first thing anyone knows about SEN is when they are already in the classroom. The OPs little girl is 6. 6! Why is there no EHCP in place for her? This should have been picked up way before she started school especially as she has an older sibling with recognised SEN.
I hope it all gets sorted quickly for your little one OP. If it was my child I would fight tooth and claw too.