To think nursery need to do better?

[Ponchy]

Dropped off DS at 8:30am. Did the fucking happy dance of joy to have all the kids out of the house for the first time in 6 months. Made it to 9am and they told me I had to come get him because he had done a poo and hadn't gotten his trousers all the way down so half of it landed in his trousers. They left him sitting on the loo while I drove back there and cleaned him up. When I got there they had a dither because I wasn't suppose to come in the building but I can't clean him up if I can't get in can I!? So home we went.

It's disgusting they've treated him in this way. My 3 year old has been potty trained for around 3 months, she occasionally has an accident and it really upsets her. She started at a school nursery last week (who were happy to take her in nappies as she wasn't trained when we applied), she had an accident a couple of days ago. The teacher called me over at pick up and just said she'd had an accident but DD told her straight away, they changed her underwear and the dirty ones were in a bag. That was it. To think your nursery would've left her until I could get there makes me so angry. What a way to make kids regress.

I think the worlds gone mad , the toilet isn't a comfortable place to sit , is there a time limit on how long a child is left like this ?

I think this is a more common thing in nurseries attached to schools. I’ve never known a private nursery to have this in place. This is possibly because they put teachers into classes in a 1:13 ratio rather than the 1:8 ratio for other practitioners so have less staff available.

They need to be careful or they'll be in a sticky situation if anyone chooses to take it further.
Personally I would be responding the email quite strongly. Perhaps with a suggestion over what ofsted might think. Honestly, they have treated your child terribly and for some children being left on the toilet and sent home just for having an accident could send their toilet training back months.

A local nursery/school had the same rule. I mentioned it to a parent where I was working who was an ofsted inspector. Her jaw dropped and she said "they can't DO that!".

Drop them in it. It's discriminatory.

@jessycake

I think the worlds gone mad , the toilet isn't a comfortable place to sit , is there a time limit on how long a child is left like this ?

OP has said she’s rural and some parents work an hour away. I really hope they aren’t leaving kids dirty for over an hour🙁

What would have happened if the parent couldn’t get the the poor child who had then been abandoned on the loo to clean them up? Even simple things like a car accident causing delays en route could prevent a parent getting to their child. Would they leave the child there all day covered in poo? It’s a completely barbaric way to treat a young child by somewhere that is supposed to nurture them.

This is awful

It would take me 40 minutes or so to get to my daughter, and that's assuming I was just in the office and able to leave, rather than out and about. The thought of her being left sitting on a toilet with poo on her clothes for all that time is absolutely heartbreaking.

Totally wrong. I used to run a preschool, and we would change children who had accidents, it's part of the job. In fact not changing a dirty child would be seen as a lack of care. Maybe slightly different when they get to infant school.

@Spam88

This is awful

It would take me 40 minutes or so to get to my daughter, and that's assuming I was just in the office and able to leave, rather than out and about. The thought of her being left sitting on a toilet with poo on her clothes for all that time is absolutely heartbreaking.

Yip. Currently I’m WFH so I’m 5 minutes away but if I was in the office I’d be a train journey away. 10 minutes to train station Depending on when train comes obviously say an hour as it’s a 40 minute journey 5 minutes to nursery.

So an hour and 15 minutes at an absolute minimum to get to him. Utterly ridiculous.

With gloves and sanitisers what's the issue
How awful for a child and humiliating
I would be formally kicking up a complaint and enquire to this sort of nonsense
How dare they!
I hope you can tell him that it's not right seriously then he can parrot it to the teachers

I don't think ISI would give a stuff so not sure how I can take it further to be honest.

There should be a governor who deals with anti-discrimination.

The thing is while I am sure there are many ways close contact with a child could spread corona, I am not sure how changing/cleaning a child is a particularly high risk activity - since the adult would be close to the child for a short space of time and they would surely be washing an sanitising their hands after anyway (there are a lot of other germs you are more likely to pick up by not doing so). So using Corona as an excuse is really really poor.

This is nothing to do with potty training, the whole thing about whether it’s legal or illegal to refuse to admit children in nappies is irrelevant. This is about a nursery’s duty of care to a potty-trained child who has had a small accident - which is 100% normal and expected at your son’s age and older!

Leaving a child in a toilet in soiled clothing for an unspecified amount of time is unsanitary, humiliating and neglectful. It seems to me it could run the risk of triggering anxiety around going to the toilet. What is the nursery’s justification for doing this? Is it a Covid measure? If so, is it evidence-based? Where are the government or council guidelines saying that’s what nurseries should do in the event of a potty-trained child having a toileting accident?

You MUST take this further OP - I don’t know what the relevant regulatory bodies are, but do the council license them (I know the local council license my son’s nursery)? You say you don’t think the ISI would care but you should tell them anyway. Are private schools not Ofsted-registered as well then? And I think you have to make clear to the school the nature of your complaint - your son IS independent but he had an accident which is to be expected at his age, and you do not expect him to be shut in a toilet in soiled clothing until you can get there. You expect him to be looked after in a caring, child-centred way after an accident - in just the same way as you would expect them to administer first aid if he fell over and cut his knee.

Contact ofsted. Contact your health visitor.
I know that this will be taken seriously in the right hands.
Don't give in to their rules. They have a duty of care to your child and they've failed.

As above, what if he hurt himself? Would they leave him to bleed? I'm guessing not.

I would contact the early years team at your local authority. You should be able to contact them if you speak to the family information service for your LA.

What @Monkeynuts18 said a million times over.

The LA, the HV and ofsted all have nothing to do with the school because it's private. ISI is the only sort of regulatory body but that's the fox watching the hens as it's made up of heads from other private schools! The only way seems to be to vote with our feet but little DS will be gutted to be moved from big DS's school. Gahhhhhh

They will still have to adhere the Equality Act of 2010.

Indeed but there's no one to call them out on it. It's very common practice for private nurseries to not take children who aren't potty trained. They simply say they don't have the ratios and this seems sufficient.

If that's the case I'd be taking him out. If you feel they can get away with anything then they will too. What's to stop bigger issues arising?

I'm interested in what the email said.

@Ponchy ISI would be interestedI think! They‘ve recently completely condemned a local (tiny) school for similar reasons.
Mine go to a private school and the attached nursery- while they prefer it if kids are potty trained (can’t blame them), its not a rule, and they just change them after accidents (they ask for 2 sets of spares, so clearly assume its a fairly regular occurrence).

According to this they have to be ofsted registered