To get rid of friend

[2019canfoff]

I've known this person for 30 years, we were very close during our teens and early 20's but we both moved to different places.
We have always stayed in touch but when I had my DS 3 years ago she sent a text congratulating me but didn't ask anything about him. I moved back to our home town before he was born and both our parents still live here too.
I would text saying when you come home let me know so we can catch up but when she came for weekend visits she never said she was coming. So I carried on texting her on birthdays but stopped trying to meet up.
Fast forward 2 years and her parents died, complete shock. So I reach out again and we meet up. The last year has been rough as I've got PND and she's obviously grieving. She came up last week and our family met up with hers.
I had an anxiety attack and ended up in tears and shaking and they all walked off and left me with my DS.
I haven't heard from her since. No text to say am I ok, nothing.
I know I shouldn't be treated like this but after everything she's been through and all the years we've been friends I just wanted other opinions about whether to just end it now or keep trying.
Thanks xx

I'm so sorry to hear that this happened. What caused the anxiety attack?

When you say you had a panic attack and they all walked off and left you, what actually happened?

It sounds like she’s not that fussed about being your friend so maybe leave it.

I felt very overwhelmed, we were out in a public place. I was worried before I left but assumed I'd be ok as I was with lots of family & friends.
I think it boiled down to me realising that I was on my own.

I’m really sorry, OP, but honestly I would not get in touch with her again. You sound very lovely and thoughtful and deserve the same in return.

It sounds like maybe that was triggering for her in her grief and she could not deal with you. Either way I'm afraid it doesn't sound like she's a particularly good friend. I'd leave it.

My panic attack started so I tried to control my breathing, my sister was watching my son on the slide. Everyone noticed me so I walked off to a tree to try and regain control. I was gone for a minute maybe and my son came running up to me. I looked to where we were all sat and everything had gone apart from my bag. People had gone, all the kids had gone, picnic blankets had gone.

@CurtainWicher don't be such a knob

@CurtainWitcher get a grip on what exactly? Not meant with any sarcasm at all, I'm looking for peoples help

It sounds like the friendship has run its course - I would let it go. Hope you’re ok now

That's crazy they all left you and your son! They all sound rude tbh not just your friend.

I think you're right and the friendship has run its course but it was nice you helped her through such an awful situation.

So your sister left you as well? They literally all left whilst you were having a panic attack in front of your son?

They don’t sound very nice.

She's really really tried to make it clear to you that she doesn't want to continue the friendship. It's over. Stop perusing it. Nobody here is going to be able to tell you what this woman is thinking or feeling.

What happened to your sister?

If it had triggered her grief, she would have texted to apologise later.

@SavoyCabbage She initiated this meet up so I was happy to go. Thanks for replying though I appreciate it xx

Even your sister had gone?

So did your family leave you too? Then did you not see her again that day? Or did you do goodbyes?

Both sisters, brother and my mother left, friend her husband, brother & wife and all other kids also left.
Not surprised at my family leaving me as they are very toxic but for them to leave my son has caused a family argument xx

Did they maybe not realise you were over behind a tree. Its easy to lose sight of one person im a large group. Why would your family go off and leave you and your son? I think I would be a lot more annoyed with them actually.

So everyone, your friends and your family left you? All of them? It’s not just your friend then is it.
Strange how they all left tbh

This sounds like a tricky one, maybe they don't understand anxiety and take it as you being rude? How long where you gone for?

@CuppaZa

So everyone, your friends and your family left you? All of them? It’s not just your friend then is it. Strange how they all left tbh

Yes, I thought this too, after your update op. I wonder if they misunderstood what was happening somehow? Or could your family have told her something else was going on or "just leave her, she's doing x, y or z" sort of thing? I can't imagine ever abandoning a friend who was going through that if she wanted me there, but I can understand her maybe thinking, or being led to think by others, that you wanted rid of her?

Hope you are ok .

Hope your ok would have been a nice thing to say but maybe she is like me and tbh I wouldn't have a clue what to do if a friend did that. I'm not great in those kind of situations and if I hadn't seen you in an age I may have thought it was me you were reacting to. I think maybe just text her and explain what happened she is probably also wondering?

Was the meet up coming to a close anyway? Is there any possibility they thought you’d left or that you were quite a long time and they had to go?

I think I would find it quite difficult to know what to do with someone who I didn’t really know any more having a panic attack. Don’t think I’d just leave them to it though!

Actually, I think I’d be mortified if I had people fussing around me in that situations - maybe she felt awkward and didn’t know what to do. Odd not to text afterwards though.

Sadly so many people don’t understand or don’t want to understand anxiety/depression etc.