To get rid of friend

[2019canfoff]

I've known this person for 30 years, we were very close during our teens and early 20's but we both moved to different places.
We have always stayed in touch but when I had my DS 3 years ago she sent a text congratulating me but didn't ask anything about him. I moved back to our home town before he was born and both our parents still live here too.
I would text saying when you come home let me know so we can catch up but when she came for weekend visits she never said she was coming. So I carried on texting her on birthdays but stopped trying to meet up.
Fast forward 2 years and her parents died, complete shock. So I reach out again and we meet up. The last year has been rough as I've got PND and she's obviously grieving. She came up last week and our family met up with hers.
I had an anxiety attack and ended up in tears and shaking and they all walked off and left me with my DS.
I haven't heard from her since. No text to say am I ok, nothing.
I know I shouldn't be treated like this but after everything she's been through and all the years we've been friends I just wanted other opinions about whether to just end it now or keep trying.
Thanks xx

Did something happen to trigger your anxiety? An argument, perhaps? There seems to be more to this story that makes it hard to judge/give an opinion without knowing what happened PRIOR to your anxiety attack...

Sorry you've been through such a tough time. It sounds as though it's a while since you were really close to your friend, and that life and relationships have changed. I don't know about 'get rid of', but I think you perhaps need to reduce your expectations about how much this person will be there for you and offer support. Leave it in her court to contact you now.

It sounds as though they all though you were attention seeking and wanted to punish you by leaving you. None of these people care about you or your son OP. I find it more shocking they were happy to leave your son not knowing if he were safe!!!

People are so desperate to put the boot in on any OP here arnt they? even if theyre suffering with serious mental health issues and scumbags for friends. Whats that all about?

Don’t new to be harsh but she doesn’t want to be harsh. Not going to make it all about me so won’t go into detail but I have an ex friend who did similar. Took me a while to notice also. It’s extremely hurtful but it’s also very freeing when you finally cut them loose. Find better friends and realise that you’re probably just at a different stage in your life right now.

Don’t mean to be harsh but she doesn’t want to be your friend.

That’s what the first line should say!

Your family sounds a lot worse than your friend.

We have always stayed in touch but when I had my DS 3 years ago she sent a text congratulating me but didn't ask anything about him.

I don't get what's so unforgivable about this?

Maybe she...
A) Was having fertility problems, or had recently had a miscarriage, and found it hard to talk about your baby.
B) Thought it best to let you settle in with your new baby without 21 questions.
C) Isn't/wasn't massively interested in babies. Tbh I'm struggling to think what specific questions you ask after a baby is born.

Sounds like you have drifted apart a bit and both had a lot of things to deal with recently, but I don't think she's intentionally set out to upset you.

Thank you everyone for ALL the replies. It's definitely given me insight into what happened or how I perceived it.
My family are not supportive of my mental health issues and have made it clear that they think it's all an act. I keep them involved for my DS as he adores them but I don't speak to them about anything but him.
xx

I think it's really hard to be there for each other when you have your own things going on as well. It doesn't sound like she encouraged people to leave, just went along with your family and however they explained the situation to her.

Other than that, she's not done anything other than behave a little differently to how you would. I think bearings grudges is worse for a friendship than anything she's done.

She isn't in a place just now where you can lean on her for support, but it's worth explaining to her what happened as she'll currently have your family's version.