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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Calling people's kids ugly. AIBU to think this is low?

148 replies

Justwhyyyy · 07/09/2020 12:37

Work colleague posted this today on Facebook. I've name changed for obvious reasons as you never know who's on here.

"Alright man shit, I've had enough of seeing your ugly kids. Yes school is back in session"

I'm one of the many parents who have shared a photo of my child returning to school today. I appreciate acquaintances aren't interested but I have plenty of family and friends who are. I don't post for their benefit or entertainment nor do I expect others to gush over my DC and comment etc. I post significant events to document our year and to reflect on in time using the memories feature.

AIBU to think this is a disgusting thing to post online about peoples children?

Calling people's kids ugly. AIBU to think this is low?
OP posts:
Cheeeeislifenow · 07/09/2020 13:44

People are just fucking horrid and social media gives them an outlet for their dickeshness.

I like seeing pictures not excited children going back to school. I also shared a picture, it's been a long 6 months , they haven't been to school here since March and it was a big achievement to get the kids back to school.

Elsewyre · 07/09/2020 13:44

@ClementineWoolysocks

Alright man shit. What kind of English is that?
No black friends then clementine?
Dominicgoings · 07/09/2020 13:45

Be kind they said.
If you don’t have anything nice to say say nothing.

ravenmum · 07/09/2020 13:45

Have you got children? Add a comment beneath saying "Oh, didn't mean to include you in the list of people who would see that picture. Sorry about that! Didn't mean to annoy you." - maybe a nice smiley, as if you are just a lovely polite person and think he's specifically referring to your childen, but are being really nice about it Grin

newnamenora · 07/09/2020 13:48

I am guilty of taking the "back to school" photos, mainly for my benefit, as I like to see how she's grown. But I have a private group with just parents and siblings on facebook and will post it there. And I sent a photo directly to ex-mil as well - they're the only people that are interested in seeing my daughter in her new uniform - wouldn't plaster it for everyone to see.

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 07/09/2020 13:48

You don't post pictures of your kids for his benefit, he doesn't post stuff like this for your benefit.
It's not disgusting, it's an attempt at humour.

I'm always surprised people have work colleagues as friends on fb.

Elsewyre · 07/09/2020 13:48

@Dominicgoings

Be kind they said. If you don’t have anything nice to say say nothing.
Ironic username there eh?
WaltzfortheMars · 07/09/2020 13:51

I'd take it as a joke, and think nothing of it.

unchienandalusia · 07/09/2020 13:51

I think it's a pretty small thing to be offended about OP.

TerryChoc · 07/09/2020 13:52

The professionally insulted....

WorraLiberty · 07/09/2020 13:52

I think the fb post in the OP is tragic and bitter, tbh. Hasn't the guy got better things to do than post about how his fb friends are posting about things he's not interested in?

We've all got better things to do than post on SM. Most people use it to while away the time 🤷‍♀️

CatAndHisKit · 07/09/2020 13:52

it's a type of humour, he didn't mean the kids are actually ugly, it's more like saying 'ugly designer clothes' meaning they obvs are not but enough boasting. Ugly in quotes.

WorraLiberty · 07/09/2020 13:54

Also...

1.) Why are we assuming this was posted by a bloke?

2.) Why has the OP buggered off?

Graciebobcat · 07/09/2020 13:55

YANBU. I hate those passive-aggressive posts and people who do it are too chicken to say anything directly to you or post a negative comment. It's playground behaviour, basically.

I don't put much on there these days but one time I posted about enjoying a pint sitting outside the pub the first time they had opened again. Not long after someone put up a new post "I don't care that you went to the pub." Might not have been directed at me at all, you never know whether someone has even read your post but I did think it was a bit crap and bitchy.

HandfulofDust · 07/09/2020 13:56

I would never describe a specific child as ugly and his post comes across as a little obnoxious but it's obviously a joke and not referring to anyone's actual child as ugly. It's well known at this time of year that loads of parents post pictures of their children on the door step in school uniform and lots of other people get bored of the onslought of those posts.

CatAndHisKit · 07/09/2020 13:56

or to put it better it's like when people say 'put away your ugly designer clothes', hint of jealousy but jokey.

ravenmum · 07/09/2020 13:58

@WorraLiberty

Also...

1.) Why are we assuming this was posted by a bloke?

2.) Why has the OP buggered off?

  1. "Man" sounds really masculine for some reason. Is that just me? Do women say it? I guess they must Grin

  2. troll-hunting is not allowed on MN?

ClementineWoolysocks · 07/09/2020 14:00

No black friends then clementine?
Excuse me? Are you saying alright man shit is something black people say?
I'll go ask my other half about that.

thecatsthecats · 07/09/2020 14:01

@MagMell

I do love it when a kids charity chugger tries to stop me, and I reply deadpan, 'I don't like children'. It stops them dead because it's not in their script to deal with it.

I've said I didn't like animals to animal charity chuggers. They tended to look as if I'd just claimed to get my kicks from hanging puppies like Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights, and it gave me time to get away.

You can just see them doing the mental calculation...

"Did she just say that? Shit, it wasn't in the script. I'm getting paid £9 an hour to shill these direct debits."

If I'm feeling really impish, I put on a faux 'lovely polite posh woman' voice and make a bit more of it. "Oh, no, I'm really sorry. I'm afraid I don't like children. Beastly little things. Especially the poor ones. So terribly sorry."

Pulled it off whilst taking my niece to the shops once. (She has a sense of humour)

RowboatsinDisguise · 07/09/2020 14:01

Clearly it’s just a joke. Not a particularly funny one, but still!
Commenting on someone’s photo ‘stop posting pictures of little Charlie, he’s ugly’ would be offensive but a generic statement like that isn’t aimed at anyone.

WorraLiberty · 07/09/2020 14:02

ravenmum did you misread number 2? Confused

Unless I've misread and you're accusing the OP of being a troll? Apologies if so.

BigBlondeBimbo · 07/09/2020 14:04

Wouldn't offend or upset me or even surprise me tbh. There is something a bit...off about people who make nasty jokes about kids, but I do think it is usually just a slightly off beat sense of humour. Also, I think some childless people make these jokes because they, perhaps understandably, don't like being bombarded by images of a world from which they might feel excluded. And sometimes lighthearted jokes do make the point "look, I'm not part of this" and it can be funny.

I wouldn't mind someone saying this to me for a joke in a private conversation, but there is maybe something a bit strange about plastering it on SM. A bit 'look at me, I'm well edgy me and I DEFINITELY don't care that other people have children ok'??!!! I think I'd tend to give a person like that a wide birth. Not saying that one joke means someone is like that, but if it completes a picture of them, where I wasn't sure about them to begin with, I might go off them a bit if I saw this sort of thing on their FB.

TableFlowerss · 07/09/2020 14:05

I thought it was going to be about a specific child, but it’s in general, so I see it more as a bit of a shit joke that makes them look like a knob.

Elsewyre · 07/09/2020 14:05

@WorraLiberty

I think the fb post in the OP is tragic and bitter, tbh. Hasn't the guy got better things to do than post about how his fb friends are posting about things he's not interested in?

We've all got better things to do than post on SM. Most people use it to while away the time 🤷‍♀️

the posting on social media about a guy who is posting on social media about somone else posting on social media and saying doesnt he have anything better to do than post on social media...
Elsewyre · 07/09/2020 14:07

@ClementineWoolysocks

No black friends then clementine? Excuse me? Are you saying alright man shit is something black people say? I'll go ask my other half about that.
Fits in with the local patois round here yeah

Just literally type alright shit man into Google what comes up first?