Or was this a little rude?

[Boredbumhead]

I have not long moved to a new area. I discovered a lovely new cafe today that seemed to be in the middle of the country side. I didn't know the area very well at all though. I took the children and dog there by myself (I'm a single mum so often go out as a threesome just me and the kids). We sat at an outside table and ordered. We waited a good 20 minutes for the food but I want bothered as it was a nice day. About 15 minutes in the cafe owner (a middle aged woman) walked passed so I grabbed the opportunity to politely ask if she knew of any good dog walks in the surrounding area. She looked really annoyed and said, I'm busy with another customers question, it something to that effect and walked off. I thought she may come back later, apologise and answer or at least say sorry I don't know, but nothing. WIBU to think this was a little rude and dismissive? Thankfully we did manage to find a nice walk through trial and error. I realise it wasn't a tourist information and she may have been busy, but I would have expected a polite response as a customer that just spent £20?

You did nothing wrong. She was rude and probably couldn't hack the stress of her job. Ignore her and don't feel guilty or embarassed. Her reaction had to do with her.

Yeah it was rude but to be honest it's the sort of thing I'd roll my eyes at and instantly forget.

Why are you still thinking about it?

@WorraLiberty I guess I just wanted to check on here if there was some dynamic I wasn't aware of that made her react like that. I couldn't imagine talking to a customer so dismissively.

Yes, very rude. Manners go a long way in this world.

I wondered if she thought I was testing her knowledge or something? I literally knew nothing about the area though 🤷

Definitely rude, I’m a petty Betty and this would put me off going back, manners cost nothing!

I also felt excited to have found a lovely new place then disappointed to be dismissed like that.

As the owner of a cafe in the middle of the countryside she certainly doesn't appear to be doing a lot to encourage repeat custom.

Perhaps she's one of those folk who are still getting aggy about "outsiders" travelling to their area and she assumed you weren't local. You say you've moved to a new area, do you have a different accent to those local to where you live now?

We relocated North last year but have quite distinct Southern accents. At a local cafe a few weeks back we were accusingly asked if we were on holiday. They were very surprised to learn that we live up the road.

It was rude. I would prob not go back, although if not many other places around maybe give another try. She could have been having a really bad day and simply forgot to get back to you.

Very rude. I'd not bother going back. It's their loss and definitely no way to be doing business, especially right now.

If she spoke to me like that it'd be flasks and sarnies from now on!
No more £20 orders for her. Rude bitch.

To be honest I wouldn't have stopped a member of staff whilst they were working unless you could see they weren't busy. Perhaps i would have asked when they brought the food but sounds like she was busy with customers and didnt have time to chat.

Don't give it another thought. She was rude but her rudeness was not about you.

Good you found a nice walk.

I think you had to be there... I’d assume that a café owner who was outside, was busy. Not if they were just propping up the counter inside, or sat in the sun outside with you the only customer. They definitely should say politely that they’re a bit busy, and preferably come back - if they’re later not busy. But if she was obviously busy then you were also rude.

I was once shocked at my XH being offhand to a potential customer on the phone... he told me it was an upside of being self employed - he felt he had enough good standing and business to be offhand to people who sounded like a PITA, whose business he didn’t want. (Plumber!)

@DDiva she wasn't carrying plates or anything. She had nipped to an outside shed, so didn't look like she was dealing with anyone else.

Very rude. I've got a close friend that runs a similar kind of business and they are falling over themselves to help customers with this kind of question. It can turn a nice meal into a great day and the customer goes away with a positive impression and brings them back again.

@lotsolove I'd rather visit your friends business then! I also feel that if it was and I had spotted a single mum was asking this question, I would give her a pointer as I wouldn't want her getting lost in the middle of nowhere with a 4 year old and and 8 year old which could be pretty dodgy. I will stop trying to over analyse now. Thanks for your responses everyone.

I'd have oiled the wheels first with a stranger tbh. (But not back home where i grew up as people are v open & chatty ). So, "lovely place you have here ". Wait for flattered response then ask the question...

@CSIblonde, perhaps that's where I went wrong then!

To be fair she wasn’t to know you’re a single mum op. And yes, she was busy but clearly didn’t have the time to talk to you about dog walks. I suspect you knew she was busy as you say you grabbed the opportunity.

Best to ask these things when paying, or ordering, or if you see them standing doing nothing, not when someone is clearly doing something. Yes it was rude, but it depends how it was said.

How on earth was she to know you were a single mum and how does that make any difference? My mum was a single mum and I can’t imagine her expecting people to treat her differently when out and about with us when we were kids

In the shop I work in we always say we are part shop, part tourist information centre. We've had people come in and ask for emergency veterinary advice, medical help, directions - sometimes the most random questions! We always try to answer them (had a couple in the other week asking if I knew 'Catherine, who lives in a village near here'....)

I assume the cafe person may have had something in the oven or be rushing to something cooking elsewhere. But she could have come back and talked to you - that is how you get repeat custom!

So yes, she was rude.

[quote Boredbumhead]@lotsolove I'd rather visit your friends business then! I also feel that if it was and I had spotted a single mum was asking this question, I would give her a pointer as I wouldn't want her getting lost in the middle of nowhere with a 4 year old and and 8 year old which could be pretty dodgy. I will stop trying to over analyse now. Thanks for your responses everyone.[/quote]
I’d be annoyed if any café thought as a single mum of 2 I wasn’t capable of not setting out on a path where I wouldn’t get lost. I’ve done lots of walks where I go out and back same route, keeping it short. I assume that adults are capable of planning a safe walking without relying on a random café owner! It’s great if someone can suggest a lovely walk - but I’d hate them to assume I was incapable of safety!

@Zaphodsotherhead thanks, good to know your professional point of view.

@Womencanlift I was a single mum in that context on my own on a table with kids and dog, clearly about to go for walk after brunch.