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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Or was this a little rude?

95 replies

Boredbumhead · 06/09/2020 19:22

I have not long moved to a new area. I discovered a lovely new cafe today that seemed to be in the middle of the country side. I didn't know the area very well at all though. I took the children and dog there by myself (I'm a single mum so often go out as a threesome just me and the kids). We sat at an outside table and ordered. We waited a good 20 minutes for the food but I want bothered as it was a nice day. About 15 minutes in the cafe owner (a middle aged woman) walked passed so I grabbed the opportunity to politely ask if she knew of any good dog walks in the surrounding area. She looked really annoyed and said, I'm busy with another customers question, it something to that effect and walked off. I thought she may come back later, apologise and answer or at least say sorry I don't know, but nothing. WIBU to think this was a little rude and dismissive? Thankfully we did manage to find a nice walk through trial and error. I realise it wasn't a tourist information and she may have been busy, but I would have expected a polite response as a customer that just spent £20?

OP posts:

FOKKYFC · 06/09/2020 23:47

cartoon

MagMell · 06/09/2020 23:53

Get an OS map for walks in a new area, OP, and/or the OS app. I agree with @SarahAndQuack that it sounds as if there was more going on with you than this apparently trivial interaction. The way you emphasise your single mother status, being alone with children and dog in a new area, and the fact that you were ‘hoping for a kinder response’ makes you sound rather vulnerable.

Shaniac · 07/09/2020 00:03

This is a weird place, to be sure: in which people are encouraging the OP to badmouth an establishment and possibly destroy someone's livelihood based on her perspective of an interaction.

Thats literally what a review is. Based on someones perceived interactions with an establishment that they decide they lile or didnt. Leaving a negative review doesnt destroy someones livelihood either unless most of their reviews are bad, in which case they shouldn't be running such a place.

Original poster

Boredbumhead · 07/09/2020 09:33

I just had a thought. Perhaps she was scared of dogs. She was much chattier at the til when I went to pay

OP posts:

Elsewyre · 07/09/2020 09:39

@Boredbumhead

I just had a thought. Perhaps she was scared of dogs. She was much chattier at the til when I went to pay

But you didnt ask about walks then?

On the 20 quid thing, dont most food places work on like a 3-5% profit margin so you didnt spend 20 quid you didnt drop 20 quid in her lap but closer to 60p- 1 pound?

Rosebel · 07/09/2020 11:33

So it's now rude to tell a customer you're busy. Looks like I'm fucked when I go back to work after maternity leave.
Every time a customer comes up I must stop what I'm doing, answer their question and also answer another customer while in the middle of dealing with the first one.
Ill run that by my manager!!

Cocomarine · 07/09/2020 11:35

@Boredbumhead

I just had a thought. Perhaps she was scared of dogs. She was much chattier at the til when I went to pay

Well there’s a drip feed. So she was perfectly pleasant when you went to pay? Even more likely then that she’s not just a rude person. You are seriously overthinking this.

melj1213 · 07/09/2020 12:11

@Boredbumhead

I just had a thought. Perhaps she was scared of dogs. She was much chattier at the til when I went to pay

Or perhaps, and I know it's a radical idea @Boredbumhead, that she was chatter at the till because she wasn't busy dealing with something else and so could give you her full attention.

If you want to discuss something that is not relevant to an employee's job or asking a question about your order/service then you need to do it at an appropriate moment. This is usually when the employee is dealing specifically with your transaction and therefore is giving you their attention ie when you're waiting at a counter eg for them to make a takeout order, paying for your food, they're at your table dropping off/collecting plates or if they explicitly make it clear they are available for a chat. Just because an employee walks past you without an armful of plates or heavy merchandise doesn't mean they're available to stand around and chat - regardless of the topic.

seayork2020 · 07/09/2020 12:19

What is being a single parent got to do with it? I could be out with my child with my husband at home?

Look i get the op something happened it annoyed you and you wondered why, the other things you are saying are making me think you are going way over the top about it

She was busy, it happened

heartsonacake · 07/09/2020 13:34

She wasn’t rude; she explained to you she was already busy.

You were rude for interrupting her when she was clearly in the middle of something to ask about something unrelated to the business. If you really had to ask you should have done it when she was free ie. at the till paying.

She doesn’t owe you tourist information just because you spent money there, and waiting twenty minutes for food isn’t a long time at all.

Original poster

Boredbumhead · 07/09/2020 14:05

You were rude for interrupting her when she was clearly in the middle of something to ask about something unrelated to the business

Bit of a stretch there. Also it wasn't unrelated to the business. It was in a remote, nature reserve type area. People go there for the walks and the nature that surrounds the cafe. Indeed the name of the cafe is related to its location.

OP posts:

melj1213 · 07/09/2020 14:57

The business is a cafe - their business is serving food and drink.

Asking questions about the nature reserve is not a question relevent to the business.

I live and work in the Lake District, that doesnt mean that when I'm at work at the customer service desk of my supermarket I also double as tourist information. Will I help out if someone wants to know which bus will take them to Windermere and which one to Bowness? If I'm not busy then of course I will, but if I'm in the middle of something else then I'm not about to drop everything for an unrelated question.

Leaannb · 07/09/2020 15:09

[quote Boredbumhead]@DDiva she wasn't carrying plates or anything. She had nipped to an outside shed, so didn't look like she was dealing with anyone else.[/quote]
Doesn't mean she wasn't busy or helping someone else...Needing to place an order maybe?

Leaannb · 07/09/2020 15:11

@Boredbumhead

You were rude for interrupting her when she was clearly in the middle of something to ask about something unrelated to the business

is part of their service organizing walking tours or just food or drink?

Leaannb · 07/09/2020 15:13

@Shaniac

This is a weird place, to be sure: in which people are encouraging the OP to badmouth an establishment and possibly destroy someone's livelihood based on her perspective of an interaction.

A review should be based on their actual business. In this case food,drink and table service. Not because she didn't organize a walking tour for OP

Shaniac · 07/09/2020 15:36

A review should be based on their actual business. In this case food,drink and table service. Not because she didn't organize a walking tour for OP

Wrong. A review also accounts for staffs attitude, and the woman was rude, ergo a bad review is perfectly ok to leave.

Kittykat93 · 07/09/2020 15:39

She was rude as fuck.

Original poster

Boredbumhead · 07/09/2020 16:00

Hahah I didn't want a walking tour 😂. Just a 'turn right'!

OP posts:

StoneofDestiny · 07/09/2020 16:22

Her response to you was rude.

It's as irrelevant if she was scared of dogs as it is that you are a single parent.

She could have said, 'if I get a minute, I'll have a think for you, but we are very busy'

Riv12345 · 07/09/2020 17:27

I would put a review on tripadvisor and say how rude the staff were!

I cnt stand bad manners
No need for it

💐💐

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