Friends wedding

[Heyahun]

I’m due my first baby soon - close friends wedding is also coming up - baby will be just under 3 months old at the time of the wedding.

She’s postponed the wedding a few months - I was unable to go to the first date as I would have been heavily pregnant ! She messaged me the other day to say - yay you will be able to come to the new date now I’m so happy!

Wedding back in Ireland (I’m in U.K.) we will have to either fly home with new baby then rent car and drive a few hours to venue - or we can drive to Holyhead (5hours) then take the boat back!

Am I nuts to think we can actually go to this (husband is thinks it’s unrealistic) I’m starting to think maybe he’s right - I’ve never had a baby before so have no idea what it will be like with a 3 month old doing all that travelling - also have just found out that the venue hasn’t got any accommodation on site so we would have to stay about a 20 min drive away in a hotel - so not able to just pop upstairs for a break with baby etc if we need a chill - so it be a long day.

What do you guys think? Doable or not?

very portable at that age, if it was a toddler age id say fuck no!

with covid/isolating etc id still not if im honest

I wouldn't be worried about doing this due to the baby, but I would be considering whether it was possible or wise given the Covid situation.

I flew to New Zealand with my 2.5 year old and 2 month last year alone. It was fine, hard but it was just 24 hours. It’s an hours flight you’ll be fine. I’m not sure why you think it’s unrealistic at all?

The two things that would leap out at me are quarantine and car seats. If you drive you’ll have to take a lot of breaks to move the baby. I think flying would be better . We travelled a lot with our first child who was an easy baby, second was very different and you don’t know that till they get here!

Should be absolutely fine. I took my 3 month old by myself on 2 planes tonthe US to visit my parents by myself.

I took a 2500 mile road trip with my then 2 year old toddler and 4 month old baby, as far as we were concerned, the only concession I made for convenience was disposable nappies (we used cloth normally). Kids are really adaptable

Er...no!

I’m guessing the bride isn’t a mother either?

For starters due dates are estimates, not scheduled appointments. You can be “out” up to 2 weeks either way so potentially you could be only 10 weeks post partum

As it’s your first you’ve no idea how the birth will go, yes in all likelihood all will go smoothly but you could end up with a load of stitches (can’t imagine that would be comfy on a long mostly car based journey) or have had a section - I had an emcs with dd absolutely no need to think it would be necessary until it was! This is major surgery that takes several weeks to properly recover from.

Babies that young aren’t supposed to be in car seats for length periods, it’s not good for them, so that means breaking the journey up and having extended breaks which will make the journey MUCH longer.

Plus baby will need a nappy change/feed every couple hours still at this stage.

Passport office is backlogged badly at the moment from what I hear and I remember even almost 20 years ago with dd the faff of organising a suitable photo, getting birth certificate etc for first passport

All the driving would likely need to be down to your dh as driving while sleep deprived, post cs, bleeding, leaking boobs etc wouldn’t be ideal or safe

And ALL that is without covid nonsense!

Personally I would not be comfortably with potentially exposing such a young baby and a recovering post partum mother to covid.

It really depends on your attitude and general approach to things.
I'd have found that no problem at all but as you can see there's a minority who really can't cope with things like that.
We've got a holiday booked for when our next baby will be 4mths old and can't wait.
Yes the baby will need fed and changed - so you feed and change it, no different to doing it at home on a day out (unless people stay in the house for the first year). Yes small babies shouldn't spend too long in car seats - so if it's 2hrs journey have a comfort break half way.
I never stuck rigidly to schedules though and am happy to just go with the flow. And I had a baby with colic and reflux who screamed for hrs on end but if I hadn't have got out the house I would have lost my mind.
We're all different, you may just have to see how you feel.

I went on the ferry with a 10 week old baby and had a 5 hour drive. It's all very do-able it just means lots of organisation. That's if you really want to go.

Didn't you post this exact same thing about a week ago? You said you could stretch it out and spend it with family so they could spend time with your baby. I think that sounds like a nice plan.

I wouldn't want to do such a long journey with a little baby for just a wedding on its own even in non covid times.

@seven201 I was just thinking this

Not do-able as there's a 14 day self isolation period on anyone coming from the UK
Aside from that, don't do it anyway.... Nightmare with a newborn. Baby might be fine with the traveling/being cooped up in car seat for hours on end - but equally might not be too, no one can tell until the time but I wouldn't risk the higher chance of windy colicky baby due to not being able to lay flat/stretch out etc for however many hours in the car xx

Doable in normal times, the idea to stop with your parents is great, but I wouldn't be paying money for plane tickets 3 months in advance (unless you can afford to burn all that money)...you have no idea what the world will look like then! I would tell friend you will try but will have to leave the decision until nearer the time.

@Heyahun

I’m due my first baby soon - close friends wedding is also coming up - baby will be just under 3 months old at the time of the wedding.

She’s postponed the wedding a few months - I was unable to go to the first date as I would have been heavily pregnant ! She messaged me the other day to say - yay you will be able to come to the new date now I’m so happy!

Wedding back in Ireland (I’m in U.K.) we will have to either fly home with new baby then rent car and drive a few hours to venue - or we can drive to Holyhead (5hours) then take the boat back!

Am I nuts to think we can actually go to this (husband is thinks it’s unrealistic) I’m starting to think maybe he’s right - I’ve never had a baby before so have no idea what it will be like with a 3 month old doing all that travelling - also have just found out that the venue hasn’t got any accommodation on site so we would have to stay about a 20 min drive away in a hotel - so not able to just pop upstairs for a break with baby etc if we need a chill - so it be a long day.

What do you guys think? Doable or not?

Delay your response as long as possible because carting baby gear around is nuts and that's just if you pop out for a few hours let alone going to Ireland. But your baby might be really chill so it might just work

Thanks all! I did post this is wedding topic on Friday - but it was a bit dead there and for like 2 responses so thought I’d get more traffic here 1 which I did!

Friend is chill she understands I may just make it! But she doesn’t need a definite answer right now ! So will think about it

I’ve just checked and most of the airlines are doing flexible tickets at the moment - so il go ahead and book the flights and we can always change the date for later if we feel we need to! We will be going to Ireland at some stage so may as well have flights booked.

Thanks for the tips / personal experiences etc! Super helpful

I did a long trip with my baby at that age and he wasn't an easy going baby at all! I don't think I'd have bothered unless it was a very close friend though because while doable I was still pretty tired and would have prefered to stay put!

If you have an easy going baby that doesn’t have colic /reflux the travel should be easy it was on my first who we travelled with at 3 months for the first time wouldn’t attempt it with baby two as they spent the first few months screaming a 30 minute drive took us 2 hours one day . Wait until the baby is here see how your feeling , baby is and also what restrictions are in place .

Wouldn't faze me at all.