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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friends wedding

93 replies

Heyahun · 06/09/2020 16:35

I’m due my first baby soon - close friends wedding is also coming up - baby will be just under 3 months old at the time of the wedding.

She’s postponed the wedding a few months - I was unable to go to the first date as I would have been heavily pregnant ! She messaged me the other day to say - yay you will be able to come to the new date now I’m so happy!

Wedding back in Ireland (I’m in U.K.) we will have to either fly home with new baby then rent car and drive a few hours to venue - or we can drive to Holyhead (5hours) then take the boat back!

Am I nuts to think we can actually go to this (husband is thinks it’s unrealistic) I’m starting to think maybe he’s right - I’ve never had a baby before so have no idea what it will be like with a 3 month old doing all that travelling - also have just found out that the venue hasn’t got any accommodation on site so we would have to stay about a 20 min drive away in a hotel - so not able to just pop upstairs for a break with baby etc if we need a chill - so it be a long day.

What do you guys think? Doable or not?

OP posts:
Original poster
Heyahun · 06/09/2020 18:18

@UndertheCedartree Il probably book flights soon (they are fairly cheap at the moment) and then if we decide against it nearer the time it doesn’t really matter we’ve only lost out on 60£!

OP posts:
CrispsAndChoc · 06/09/2020 18:22

I would definitely fly rather than drive. We took DD on holiday when she was 4 months old and it was fine.

LilaButterfly · 06/09/2020 18:23

It depends on the baby obviously, but with my 2 it wouldnt have been an issue. They just slept and fed at that age.

MintyMabel · 06/09/2020 18:23

The flight doesn’t really bother me

I was thinking more about the logistics of having to drag stuff with you. Cars are much easier for that! But if your mum has all the stuff, that makes it much easier.

It’s just the long day at wedding, lack of accommodation on site etc - I think il have to wait and see how baby is it when here!!

Oh that bit will be fine. I’m sure the venue will have a wee side room you can toddle off to if you need to.

12309845653ghydrvj · 06/09/2020 18:27

Sorry for jumping on the quarantine thing OP—if you have somewhere to stay that’s pleasant enough for the 2 weeks (bearing in mind it might be quite stressful with a baby!) I’d say go for it.

If your parents don’t live in the countryside/have a good garden might be worth considering getting a cottage for quarantine, so you have some outside space? I did that in Ireland recently (also from Ireland originally, living in uk!) and wa sa really pleasant way to do the restricted movement period.

Glenpatrick · 06/09/2020 18:28

for a baby you don’t need a passport. I’m Irish we flew from London in jan with a 3 week old baby to Dublin, for both Aerlingus and ba you can use the baby’s birth certificate, not sure about Ryanair

Beautiful3 · 06/09/2020 18:30

I had one easy 3 month old and one with reflux. Depends on your baby.

Original poster
Heyahun · 06/09/2020 18:30

Good idea actually @12309845653ghydrvj A cottage be a nice idea / feel a bit more like a holiday!! Parents house is big enough and nice garden so it would likely be fine! But it’s in the suburbs - not rural a so we really would be stuck in the house unable to go anywhere !!

OP posts:
Original poster
Heyahun · 06/09/2020 18:32

That’s good to know @Heyahun
Ryanair are pretty strict passport only !

But we can do BA or aer lingus or boat then And just use birth certificate!

OP posts:
Roowig2020 · 06/09/2020 18:36

@heyahun
A birth certificate is fine, though I was never asked for it with either Ryanair or easyJet. On the ferry recently they didn't ask for ID from any of us.

Fink · 06/09/2020 18:41

for a baby you don’t need a passport. I’m Irish we flew from London in jan with a 3 week old baby to Dublin, for both Aerlingus and ba you can use the baby’s birth certificate, not sure about Ryanair

It's technically the case that you don't need a passport at all to travel from the UK to Ireland (if you're British or Irish), but good luck arguing that with some of the airline people. The bloody Ryanair people won't even accept my Irish passport card, which is a valid passport. I'm sure it would be fine for a baby though.

AmelieTaylor · 06/09/2020 18:47

@Motoko

Wedding back in Ireland (I’m in U.K.) we will have to either fly home with new baby then rent car and drive a few hours to venue - or we can drive to Holyhead (5hours) then take the boat back!

People seem to be missing this. Aren't there guidelines on how long babies should be stuck in a car seat? Either of OP's options involve a long drive.

Can you hire cars with car seats?

Spending the 2 weeks quarantine with parents sounds like a good idea, but would that be allowed? Surely quarantine is meant to be before you meet up with anybody else?

No you can stay in your own home, with family or friends or in a hotel.

It's kind of mad, but nowhere would have the capacity to house everyone for 14 days!

(NZ is, but only returning residents are allowed in, not just general travelers)

@Heyahun. You could ask your friend or phone the hotel, to see if they have a small room somewhere that you could use for the day, just somewhere you can feed/change the baby keep the pram & all the gubbins.

Pre Covid I'd have done it no problem - now I'm not sure. Mostly due to risks of delays etc. But I'd plan to go and only cancel if things got horrific between now & then.

How far is it from your mums?

AmelieTaylor · 06/09/2020 18:52

@Heyahun

That’s good to know *@Heyahun* Ryanair are pretty strict passport only !

But we can do BA or aer lingus or boat then And just use birth certificate!

Does it not need to be photo ID?

Not that babies generally look vastly different 🤣🤣

Original poster
Heyahun · 06/09/2020 18:53

Good idea @AmelieTaylor Will ask my friend to check with venue if they have a room for us to use!

Parents house is just under a 2 hour drive from venue.

I guess il just keep an open mind / will prepare my friend for the fact that obviously it may not work out ! But we will aim to be there

OP posts:
bellsbuss · 06/09/2020 18:57

I always found that age one of the easiest with travelling , we have taken all 4 of ours abroad around that age. For me once they first start crawling or walking it becomes harder.

Terrace58 · 06/09/2020 18:58

I had a very high needs baby and so would not have been able to do that trip. You just never know what kind of baby you will have.

But with Covid, I would not do it.

mamaoffourdc · 06/09/2020 19:01

I've travelled many times with babies this age - mostly international uk - nz it's always been fine x

Danni290 · 06/09/2020 19:03

It is doable. Enjoyable, maybe not but definately doable.

Bubbaella · 06/09/2020 19:18

Much easier at that age. Your suggestion of going earlier to stay with your parents seems like the best solution.

Enjoy the travelling while they’re young. Once they’re toddler age, it’s a nightmare!

Flamingolingo · 06/09/2020 19:24

Very much dependent on baby (and your recovery). This would have been a doddle with my second baby, but my first was a nightmare and this would have been impossible

Happygogoat · 06/09/2020 19:27

It's totally doable (we took a 12 week old to Scotland by car - and she didn't sleep in cars!). It's hard so it just depends how much you want to go.

If you have an easy baby it could it fact be easy, but if you give yourselves time and see it as a short break with the wedding as the activity of one day and are organised, it is doable. At worst it's damn hard but you'll get to see your friend get married. And she's good to invite the baby - so many don't which makes the decision more complex! Good luck x

SciFiScream · 06/09/2020 19:31

I travelled all the way to Germany by ferry and car with a 5-week old baby. I'd had a PPH after the birth and was very poorly. Baby was poorly too due to reflux and difficultly getting breast feeding established. It was hell. I can't believe we did it or managed it.

I adore the bride. I would not have done that if it wasn't one of the most important friendships I have.

It can be done. It's bloody hard work! Getting the passport was even a challenge for us. Had to go to Glasgow for one of their day services. Baby is 10 now!

I can barely remember the trip or the wedding...but I was there and the plate smashing was great fun.

Lilybet1980 · 06/09/2020 19:45

I’d rather take a 3 month old to a wedding than a 3 year old!

I flew on holiday with an 8 week old and did a long drive and attended a wedding with a 3 month old. Both were totally fine.

Glenpatrick · 06/09/2020 19:49

I know, that’s why I said for a baby!

AmelieTaylor · 06/09/2020 20:17

@Heyahun

Good idea *@AmelieTaylor* Will ask my friend to check with venue if they have a room for us to use!

Parents house is just under a 2 hour drive from venue.

I guess il just keep an open mind / will prepare my friend for the fact that obviously it may not work out ! But we will aim to be there

Sounds like the best plan!!

Given how everything is, unfortunately you won't be the only ones!!

Ps DH needs to find his 'can do' spirit!!!