Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit disappointed year 9 dd is in bottom set for maths?

149 replies

awaywiththecircus · 06/09/2020 12:39

Dd goes to a grammar school. She loves school, cried when it shut for lockdown and was excited to go back.
I know I’m being unreasonable as Dd is definitely no maths whizz. It’s not something that comes easily to her but she gets there in the end. I’m the same so don’t know why it’s bothered me. Her older brother (15) is brilliant at maths and going to do further maths GCSE and A level. Please talk some sense into me.

OP posts:
KarlKennedysDurianFruit · 06/09/2020 12:43

It wouldn't be better for her to be in a higher set and struggle, if she progresses she can move up sets anyway, surely that's more motivational than being moved down when she's not chilling with the work. Are you more worried about what other people will think? I don't get why this is an issue otherwise as you recognise maths isn't her strength, if you and she thought she was excellent at maths and she was put in a low set I'd understand it ...

sd249 · 06/09/2020 12:45

Grammar schools don't really have a bottom set imo.

Students in my comp bottom set are working on adding, subtracting and times tables, aiming to get a Grade 1 at GCSE. But they are great kids who are working hard and doing their best which is what matters.

Your daughter is probably ok at maths and great at other things - she just needs to get the grade to enable her to do what she wants to next (so likely a 5) is she in track for that?

Original poster
awaywiththecircus · 06/09/2020 12:47

I’m not really sure why I’m bothered! Everything you say makes complete sense and I’d much rather she is going at the right pace which she will be in that group.

OP posts:
SionnachRua · 06/09/2020 12:47

Totally understandable that you're sad about it but well...some of them have to be bottom set and I'm sure she has other talents. She's better off being in that set if she struggles rather than being in a higher set and unable to keep up with the others.

Having said that, it's not nice to think that your child struggles at things and you seem realistic about it so yanbu.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 06/09/2020 12:48

Bottom set at Grammar could still mean pretty good. I know it's about 30years ago, but the bottom set at my Grammar school were the ones aiming for Bs.
Don't let her know you are sad... Growing up I knew I was considered the 'not as clever' one, especially at Maths. I got an A at Alevel, including at 100 in a couple of papers... But my brother was the one who did it naturally while I had to work at it.

OverTheRainbow88 · 06/09/2020 12:49

Bottom set at a grammar school would probably be top set in the school I work in.

The main thing is her love for school.

Original poster
awaywiththecircus · 06/09/2020 12:51

@sd249 yes she’s definitely on track for a 5 and obviously wouldn’t want to take A level maths or anything. She does fine in tests but you’re right, she’s probably average at maths.

OP posts:
Shahlalala · 06/09/2020 12:54

I worry about my DD and maths because I’m not very good at it. I think with these things our own feelings about our own abilities sometimes taint the view.

Theyweretheworstoftimes · 06/09/2020 12:57

It doesn't matter what set she is in. She needs a pass grade at GCSE and that's all.

Do not let her sense your disappointment.

I was bottom set for Maths and English. My parents encouraged me to do my best. I have a career now that people thought not possible of me.

Your child fits somewhere in society, they just need to find that place.

nosswith · 06/09/2020 12:57

Not everyone is good at maths, please be as helpful as you can. The important thing is a GCSE pass.

TW2013 · 06/09/2020 12:58

Most girls in her school will get 7, 8 or 9 in GCSE. Being in the bottom set means the teacher will move more at her pace and explain things rather than zooming ahead to cover further maths as well or sitting the exam a year early. In a grammar school it can be hard for a child's self esteem to be constantly around children who are better than them in a subject. Once she (you) get over being in the bottom set she will probably flourish and gain confidence because the able mathematicians won't all be there with their hands up.

Which subjects does she love? What does she want to do for A level? Can your ds tutor her for some extra pocket money?

YouJustDoYou · 06/09/2020 12:58

It's not the be all and end all.

oceanbreezy · 06/09/2020 12:59

Get a tutor or sibling to help.

LadyCatStark · 06/09/2020 13:00

She’s at a Grammar school though so she’s bottom of the top when it comes to the general population. That’s not a bad position to be in!

DS has just started Grammar school and I’ve warned him, in a nice way, that even if he’s nowhere near the top of the class, he’s still amazing!

TW2013 · 06/09/2020 13:01

Just to be clear she is probably on track for a 7, maybe a 6 on a bad day. Look at her school's GCSE results ranges (other than 2020), should reassure you. In a grammar school it is important to run your own race not worrying too much about others.

Irelate · 06/09/2020 13:02

DD was in bottom set English for a year or two. Best thing that ever happened to her. Was a slightly smaller group, got more individual attention. Ended up doing A level English and an English degree.

FlamingoAndJohn · 06/09/2020 13:02

Don’t forget that being in the bottom set in a grammar is the same as being in the second set in a comp.

WorraLiberty · 06/09/2020 13:05

It doesn't matter which set she's in.

What matters is that it's the right set for her. Besides, kids go up and down all the time.

Andi2020 · 06/09/2020 13:09

I'm sure her brother can help.
My dd is bottom set also she was annoyed her friends in a different group but I told her I will do everything I possibly can to help her.
We are not in a Grammar school

BlackberrySky · 06/09/2020 13:09

The most important thing is that she is in the set that will help her most to get the best grade she can. Much better that she is in a group that moves at a pace where things can be explained a couple of times, than one that keeps moving on and leaving her behind.

Coffeecak3 · 06/09/2020 13:13

I had a tutor for my dd at GCSE year as the exam had changed to just two papers and we needed her to get a C, not sure what that is now. The tutor did an hour every week and literally just coached her to get a pass. She passed and then she promptly forgot it all!

peacockbutterfly · 06/09/2020 13:14

I am not a Maths teacher but quite a few of the students I work with who are in the bottom set in Maths go on to get Grade 7 & 8. For some of them, it is about needing to work at a slower pace or requiring slightly more explanation to grasp new concepts that those in the top set. The grade boundaries are low (Grade 4 score = 19.6% / Grade 7 score = 57.5%.). The common factor between these students is a strong work ethic, ongoing revision and review of topics and completing (and marking) plenty of practice papers in the time leading up to their GCSEs.

Bluepolkadots42 · 06/09/2020 13:14

I went to a grammar and was also in bottom set for Maths. As someone else said bottom set in a grammar is closer to a middle set in a comprehensive school. No one in my bottom set got lower than a C grade- I got a B. As an adult I've taught bottom sets (in a different subject) in a number of Comps and majority of students had target grades of Es and Fs. The 'top performing' students in those bottom sets were on track for a D (now grade 3 ish), It's better she's in a group that's taught at a pace she can deal with and bottom sets often have a smaller number of students so student/teacher ratio allows for more teacher support.

peacockbutterfly · 06/09/2020 13:16

Just to add - I do work in a selective school - not a grammar but selective independent

20Vision20 · 06/09/2020 13:16

I do think YABU because like others have said she’s at grammar school and still doing well. Better to be in the right set than get lost in a higher set.

My son goes to special school, some family and friends have seen this as a negative but I see it as a positive because I feel he has a chance of getting GSCEs in the special school, learning in a way that suits him. He had zero chance of getting GSCE’s in his mainstream.