To lose all feelings for someone overnight?

[Livelifejoyful]

Posting here for traffic mainly.

I've had a turbulent relantionship with my DH that has got progressively worse over the past year.

You know how they say, one day you will wake up and all your feelings will be gone. Well this week after he acted like an A hole and stormed out - its been 6 days since we spoke or saw eachother and not once in this time have I had any feelings at all towards the situation. Its like I hit my breaking point and I have no feelings left towards this marriage. Normally after rows I'll be very upset and anxious (he's very manipulative so loves a dose of the silent treatment) we own two properties so he will go to there and return once calmed down - but this time Ive just felt in my mind that I'm done with this for good now and aside from those thoughts I've had no other feelings at all. I've blocked him on all avenues of contact and I know he's been in touch with my mum and has tried to contact me. No doubt there will be a knock at the door in the next few days, which honestly I don't even want to answer.

I never thought you could wake up and lose all feeling but I guess you really can.

You sound worn down by his behaviour. No wonder you have lost feelings for him.

Can you bag up his stuff or will you move out?

This happened to me too.
He's in for a shock.
Just be careful though. He might turn nasty.

Yep, I've experienced this. It's like a switch clicking to off & I gave to end it.

It's sad when a relationship ends & there will be time to grieve for what should have been, but if you're unhappy & he keeps flouncing like a teenager, you're probably better off & will no longer need to feel stressed & anxious about it.

Good luck

I certainly hope you now realise that it's time to permanently end your marriage. Send him a message to never come back, get a solicitor, and get out of this shit marriage.

We own two properties together and are married so will have to sort through all that. First will be the conversation we have to have and I know he won't let me go easily, he will try every trick in the book. But we've been here before and I know better than to believe his charming ways. For now I will just stay in this house and he can stay in our other house until we can sort out the formalities. I'll have to deal with all the drama he throws my way first.. I think he must be contemplating my behaviour since he last saw me and he must be sensing something has changed with me as normally I am all about communication and trying to resolve issues. But this time I've been radio silence apart from one message I sent to him stating I wanted a divorce and that I'm done (which was after my mum told me he had been sending her essays and had tried to turn it all onto me blaming me as usual and painting the picture of total innocence on his part - the usual manipulator tactics). I then proceeded to block him on everything.

You won't have to deal with his drama if you refuse to entertain it. There are no more "discussions" to be had. This is why you need a solicitor asap.

You go, girl! His behaviour is manipulative and abusive, especially the silent treatment. No wonder you’ve got the ick!

Thanks ladies and yes I will speak to a solicitor. And your right there really is no more talk to be had, I just don't want him bombarding my family to try to get to me. And then when he comes knocking on the door and finds I've bolted it and he can't get In, what drama he may cause then is causing me slight anxiety. But he's far too concerned with self image to cause a scene I would imagine. He is so immature, has a foul mouth in arguments and NEVER ever sees his wrongs, which means that we have been going round in circles for years on the same issues, meaning no growth or forward movement. Constantly puts me down in arguments, yet if I'm really as bad as he says I am why then the next day he's planning a future and I'm so beautiful and blah blah. He is the best equivilant to a mind fuck that there is! I'm just done!!!! Good fucking riddance.

You sound like you have been worn down by his behaviour and come to the end of your tether. Good for you, I hope he doesn't make life too difficult for you going forward.

Be clear that his behaviour has 100% shown he is not happy in the marriage and you agree with him. Talk in terms of this being a done deal to reduce him trying to pull things back.

Oh @enough4me even if I wanted to use that tactic he would brush that off and say how much he loves me and wants this marriage and that it is ME who wants that not him. And then he will pull out all the stops to try to convince me of how amazing he is and how dramatic I am being. Only for a few months later for him to fall back in the same routine. No communication apart from what is necessary is what's best as others have suggested. If he has a chance to bait me into a conversation he will. This is how manipulators work. This week has been so peaceful and I've realised he makes this home unbearable. Do you know what sent me over the edge and to this point? The other day he returned home in a mood, for what I don't know. I sat down and tried to talk to him reasonably, kindly. He completed ignored my existence. I held myself graciously and didn't let him bait me into an argument. Yet he proceeded to later that night be rude to me and when I told him if he wants to act that way maybe he should leave and calm down he told me to go and fuck myself and took my car leaving me with no transport! Absolute douchebag!

It's actually so refreshing to feel nothing, no feelings at all. I was so in love with him, a toxic relantionship at its best. When times were good they were passionate and amazing and we have the most amazing chemistry and attraction to eachother, but when things were bad - they were awful. Never anything in between.

Sounds like you have a ditch the dead weight plan, go with it and good luck.

It is incredibly liberating to suddenly not care about a person you've had a toxic relationship with.

Onwards and upwards!

Report your car stolen!

He paid a part towards the car, so I paid 70 per cent and him 30 per cent but it was bought for me. I don't want to give him the power with it though, as I know he expects me to be calling him about it. A car right now means nothing if it means he will stay away from me. Let him keep the car right now as a power play, there is no way I will be contacting him about it. We actually live abroad not in the UK so the car is in both our names. But its my car, or at least that's the picture he painted to me before we bought it. More fool me!

Divorce the loser.

I had this with exH. I recovered pretty much straight after the divorce because I had done all my grieving during the relationship.

Good luck.

This can absolutely happen, it doesn’t surprise me at all that you’ve reached this point.

Same thing happened to me with my ex. He was an arsehole of a husband, and a belligerent bully, who wore me down. One day I woke up, and made appts to look at flats, put a deposit down, and moved out of home, all within a week.

Looking back, I realized I had tried everything to make my marriage work, but that I couldn’t change him. I didn’t cry once after I left, I’d done all my crying and grieving when I was still in the marriage.

Good luck to you, I hope you can move on without incident. Please be very careful.

Well done OP. Losing all your feelings makes it easier to leave, He sounds awful.

Good luck.

I realised when my then husband was in hospital for 6 weeks that I didn't really love him any more, I woke up the first morning he wasn't there & felt nothing. I went through the motions of being a loving caring wife, visited him every day but it was like a duty, not because I wanted to. When he came home I didn't want him there, ds & I had got in to our own routine, we didn't need him there. We were constantly bickering, I couldn't stand being in the same room as him, everything about him annoyed me. I avoided having to spend any time with him, we had a caravan that we went to most weekends, I made excuses that I wanted to go out on a friday night so he took ds & I drove down on the Saturday, I enjoyed the peace of having the house to myself. We started having massive rows, he would try to turn everything round to blaming me, I told him I wanted a divorce but he wouldn't accept it, he threatened me that he would get custody of ds, that I was an unfit mother, that he would see to it that I would lose my job. About 10 days before I left for good, he raped me & the night I took ds & left for good, he tried to burn down the house with me & ds in it, ds was only 6 but he dialled 999, the police came & helped me leave, ds & I left with the clothes we stood up in & ds took his pet hamster, we spent the night in a hotel, I never spent another night in the house that was mine, exh had never had his name on the mortgage or helped to pay the bills, the morning after we left he changed the locks so I couldn't get in, I never got back in for our possessions or ds toys until he finally moved out 6 months later.

Hes right about one thing. You are so beautiful.
And it seems you have done really well putting up with this for so long.
I wish you all the very best in your fresh start and future ahead. Xx bless you

Bloody hell @Nat6999 seems like you have really been through the wars. Hope you and your son are in a better place now. I'm so sorry to hear you went through all that

Why are men so weird ?
What is it with the silent treatment?
An ex boyfriend of mine was like this and it’s absolute torture to live with..