Swearing and inappropriate language in meeting AIBU

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AIBU to have attended a meeting with fuck, fucking, fuckers, etc? I know we need to let off steam though.

Swearing is cunting marvellous

I swear as much as possible. I was doing a church service yesterday and after 6 months of not needing to moderate my language I found not swearing a bit of a challenge yesterday.

Unfortunately my mic was still on at the end when I looked at Dh and said thank fuck that's over (was nervous) - but only about 3 people heard me and they already know I'm a bit of a sweary fucker.

@Parker231 if you know when to use language appropriately then you’ll be aware that Mumsnet is notoriously sweary.

I was just thinking that as well

So it appears.

You see, part of intelligence is “reading the room”. MN is known for swearing - and also not a site where “my dad says” goes down to well.

YAFBU

Luckily you don’t have to agree with anonymous posters on Mn. People behave very differently in rl.

Lawyer at criminal bar. The only people who don’t pretty routinely swear are the judges (in court) and my clients (usually).

@HeronLanyon haha dh used to work in chambers - they really were a sweary bunch.

Sounds incredibly unprofessional.
I do swear from time to time, but I would not expect to put up with that in a working environment.

I like swearing - sometimes a swear word is the most appropriate way to express myself, sometimes I just want to use them.

In work, in the dept I've just left, what I would call 'moderate' swear words were used frequently (shit / bloody etc). Slightly worse ones (fuck) were used on occasion). Everyone did it, it wasn't directed at anyone, no one was offended and it was fine.
In new dept, it's a lot more formal so swearing isn't appropriate. I work with people now I've known a long time - we all swear outside of work but keeping the language appropriate while we're working is easy.

Funny how the thread started about swearing in the workplace but has now been tipped to whether women should swear and if doing so is related to their intelligence 🙄
Women can (and should) swear as much as men imo, and as for intelligence, words were invented to be used and my ability to use them (correctly might I add) is not connected to how intelligent I am!

Totally depends on your place of work and colleagues etc.

We swear all the fucking time in our office. We all enjoy it and it's an easy way to destress.

We never swear at one another nor are we aggressive. It's all in good humour and none of the team find it a problem.

That being said I wouldn't swear in a meeting with someone from outside of our company. As that would be unprofessional.

Unless it's a very long-standing relationship.

The air is blue most of the time in back of house areas away from customers, especially the kitchen. Usually about the customers.
It's frowned upon to swear at/in front of customers. Obviously.
Not that it stops the customers doing it
"You fucking serving?"
Apparently "No I'm fucking not" makes me rude 🤷

I don’t see the problem as long as you aren’t telling people to fuck off seriously and with venom. They are just words - and some of them are deliciously satisfying to say.

Swore all the fucking time

It was stressful working in property development

Now I work with my husband

And he's a fucking knob, so yes

But not to the clients 😆

I mean I’m assuming that the chair isn’t saying “let’s get this fucking meeting started you bunch of cunts” that would be a tad too far.

Not professional at all.

Depends on the office/department. Some departments within the same company are using swearing as punctuation, others you'd need the building to be on fire to hear swearing. Never in front of clients/customers, and generally not senior management either (again unless building is on fire).

@RightYesButNo

Swearing doesn’t serve any purpose. There’s nothing impressive about swearing.

I thought we’d gotten over these Puritan attitudes, especially the idea that swearing is “pointless.” We know that swearing can reduce the sensation of physical pain and can even reduce the psychological pain associated with a distressing memory, according to different studies on the subject (Stephens et al., 2009; Phillip and Lombardo, 2017).

People who swear also apparently lie less, have more integrity in general, have a bigger vocabulary, and swearing may make their arguments more effective (Feldman et al., 2017; Jay and Jay, 2014; Bostrom et al., 2006).

You can dislike swearing, if you want, but your personal dislike doesn’t mean it has no purpose. We have the science to prove otherwise.

Thats fucking magnificent

As PP's have said it depends on the situation/people present. I swear sometimes in front of colleagues when the moment requires it. Never in 'big' meetings.

Worked in Education for almost 10 years, though, so very good at biting back the profanity til I escape. Never sworn in front of/near/at a child in all the years I've been around them despite one of them once projectile vomiting on a pair of velvet Charlotte Olympia kitty flats (the real question is what kind of arsehole wears shoes costing more than £3.50 to work with small children?)

I'm still waiting to hear exactly what @Coquohvan thinks swearing says about a woman? I'm intrigued to know what they think a woman's swearing says about her exactly? Other than the fact that she's used some vernacular language that expresses a feeling of frustration at a particular point in her day. Other than that, I'm struggling to understand exactly what they mean when they say 'Swearing is not appropriate especially coming from a woman. Says a lot about them'
It's ok not to like swearing. Some mind it, some don't.
But making value judgements about a woman who uses swear words as part of her normal vocabulary simply because she's female could land you in quite a lot of hot water! Be careful those tightly hoiked judgy pants don't give you a hernia!

Swearing is cunting marvellous

Interestingly, that’s where my line is drawn. I’d call out the use of the c-word in my presence. But that’s true whether at work or play.

Not professional at all.

Context is key, surely.

“Aww man, how fucking awful that your cat has died, do you need to take the day to deal with it?”

“Dead cat, eh? I hope you don’t expect that to affect your work”

Which person would you rather have as a boss?

'Luckily you don’t have to agree with anonymous posters on Mn. People behave very differently in rl.'

You think people are not being truthful or...?

I talked about this with DH last night. I am very sweary and he is not. He doesn't seem to mind other people swearing, but he can't bring himself to do it. Like literally can't. I tried to get him to say fuck once and the best he could do was a mumble

He said that he noticed ages ago that his workmates (male dominated outdoors job) stop swearing when he goes into the office

On our team we are very very sweary. I've learnt some excellent new words and phrases from a Scottish colleague. Such a turn off phrase! Today was awful and having a good inventive sweary meeting or 2 really helped us feel like a team, somehow.

If someone joined who didn't swear it would change the dynamic and the existing people would swear less.

That's how things work. Different people behave differently with different groups and people and situations. That's fine and good.

The other thing that occurs to me is there's a class and where you're from element here. What it a standard word in Australia is a definite swearword in USA for example. I notice the anti swearers never responded to that point. Unless I missed it.

It's all a bit hyacinth bucket tbh. Not swearing is a very old fashioned lower middle class aspirational type thing isn't it?

TBF niceness and sweariness aren't linked though minty! But still a reasonable question.

I just thought of something else.

I don't mind swearing at all but I do object to e.g. men telling stories about strip clubs to each other in the middle of the office etc.

I imagine the non swearers, the 'ladies' never hear any of that stuff because they have drawn a firm 'ladies present' line and so the men STFU. So they have no idea about that stuff.

Again I was discussing with DH last night about how men often accept me as 'one of the lads' and then forget I'm female and start joking about all sorts of shit. And I point out that women are people even the ones they're joking about fucking etc. So by dint partly of my sweariness I'm in a position to point out to men that they're sexist pigs who are talking about women like they aren't people. And sometimes, just sometimes, they look a bit thoughtful.

So while go around I'm a laydeeing, women like me are in there challenging men on the workplace on their underlying sexism. And yes they still talk to me. Because they like me and respect me.

So stick that in your pipe and smoke it

(What does that phrase mean anyway? Is it very rude? Sounds like it could be!)