Swearing and inappropriate language in meeting AIBU

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AIBU to have attended a meeting with fuck, fucking, fuckers, etc? I know we need to let off steam though.

I spent many years working in a newsroom (retired journo). It was extremely pressured and hectic and the air wasn't just blue, it was indigo.
But it was extremely rare for any profanities to be directed at an individual (although it did happen from time to time.) Generally it served as a safety valve and was often inventive and funny.
I think the great Malcolm Tucker (Don't just stand there - fucking come in or fucking fuck off) must have worked there as trainee many moons ago.
His best quote: You breathe a word of this to anyone, you mincing fucking CUNT, and I will tear your fuckin’ skin off, I will wear it to your mother’s birthday party and I will rub your nuts up and down her leg whilst whistling Bohemian fuckin’ Rhapsody, right? Now get out of my fucking sight!”

I swear a lot. Somebody called us al ‘fuckers’ (about 30 of us). Thing they thought their microphone was off. I thought it was hilarious. (It’s usually me who does something like that).

Try living in the Netherlands where swearing, particularly in English, is seen as a measure of freedom and enlightenment, rather than in articulation. Don’t get me wrong, I love an expletive but there is a time and place and atwork and in front of children, are times and places where I’d rather they didn’t happen.

YABFU

@Merryoldgoat

I swear a lot but I know my audience. I don’t swear during committees or with the CEO. My boss is COO and we both swear like sailors.

NHS here too. We swear ALL day. Never to peoples faces obviously. Just with each other 🤣

There's nothing impressive about swearing. Quite the opposite in fact. It is completely out of place in the work place.

In the offices of the factory I work in, not uncommon.

As chair of governors, very much less so!

@lakielady looks like I should change my username

Swearing doesn’t serve any purpose.
There’s nothing impressive about swearing.

I thought we’d gotten over these Puritan attitudes, especially the idea that swearing is “pointless.” We know that swearing can reduce the sensation of physical pain and can even reduce the psychological pain associated with a distressing memory, according to different studies on the subject (Stephens et al., 2009; Phillip and Lombardo, 2017).

People who swear also apparently lie less, have more integrity in general, have a bigger vocabulary, and swearing may make their arguments more effective (Feldman et al., 2017; Jay and Jay, 2014; Bostrom et al., 2006).

You can dislike swearing, if you want, but your personal dislike doesn’t mean it has no purpose. We have the science to prove otherwise.

As others have said, it depends on your setting. As we're all grown ups here I'd like to think we've all got enough about us to know when we can swear with impunity and when to wind our necks in. I'm a properly sweary Mary (much to my mother's chagrin) but I'm sufficiently attuned to social etiquette to recognise when it's not appropriate.

But if you're working in a sweary environment and you don't like it maybe it's just not for you.

I recently decided to stop working for a small business whose boss liked ranting at me on the phone for two hours at a time about everything that was going wrong in the business, which meant I found it really hard to unpick what he actually needed from me. He would also message at 10:30 the night before a 7:30 meeting the following morning to suggest I should attend in his stead. It wasn't an emergency.

He was also sweary. I didn't mind that. I did mind the 2 hour rants and the out of hours intrusions, so I left. It's your choice. And as a PP put it, there's lots of evidence to suggest sweating can be a healthy form of expression.

Pretty normal here, I work in construction and the fuckers fucking swear like fuck about every fucking little thing. Fucking fuckers. Our meetings are very fucking entertaining

Me too. Assuming you are a woman @UnfinishedSymphon (great name!) do you also find guys you don’t know tend to apologise specifically to you for doing it? It really gets my goat. Especially as they tend to say “excuse my French” to which I respond “That’s not French, the word you’re looking for is Foutre”

Nobody swore where I used to work. They kept it for after work socialising.

Why do people think that swearing is acceptable? If you swore in a meeting I was chairing, you’d be leaving the meeting ASAP and later called in to a separate meeting to discuss your unacceptable and unprofessional behaviour.

Not appropriate at all if working in offices...

Many people will find that offensive and threatening. It will also be against company policy and your contract of employment that usually has some kind of clause about not bringing the company into disrepute/maintaining good standards while at work.

Also very silly from an HR point of view, someone who swears at a colleague (even if they think it is a 'joke') might find themselves accused of bullying/harassment/threatening behaviour and face an investigation for gross misconduct.

As a manager, any of my staff who swore at a customer or a colleague would find themselves in trouble. I can assure you of that.

I do swear in 'real life' but never at work.

Depends whether it was used as a descriptive or as abuse. 'Fuck you' and 'fuck off' are unacceptable IMO. 'Oh, for fuck's sake' and 'what a fucking mess' less so.

Would be fine where I work, and with probably 60% of our clients. Really depends on your working atmosphere.

I’m not sure it does - or should - depend on where you work. Any more than the acceptability (or otherwise) of sexist, homophobic etc banter should depend on you working atmosphere / where you work / make up of clients etc

I used to work in local government, which seems to be very sweary.

Ha ha, oh my god, back when I used to temp every single assignment that I got from our local council was followed by a phone call to check that I could handle "strong language"! Especially in the CE's office! 😂

There's a lot of swearing at my job (NHS) but never in front of patients or families.

In the privacy of a team meeting to disseminate the fourteenth change to policy in a month or to announce the news that staff are being further cut, there is no other reasonable response!

Swearing at work? Outfuckingrageous!

I work across two teams. In one I don't swear. In the other (industry ops) I used the phrase "looks like he's trodden on his own dick" just last week. All about audience.

Not appropriate at work. Others I work with hardly ever swear at work.

Swearing is not appropriate especially coming from a woman. Says a lot about them. It’s mostly shouty angry and loudly said. Can’t abide that professional nor from friends/family.

Lol

Ladies- don't forget if you stub your toe, crash your car or see a child fall out of a tree, an exclamation of 'oh gosh' will suffice

@NiceGerbil - how does it help by swearing. It’s just plain rude.

@Coquohvan why “especially from a Woman”?