Am I being unreasonable

[Babysharksmom]

Have ncd for this as my mil is on here.

Ds2 is 2 today. Myself and P are both from large families. While everyone on my side remembered to text, phone send cards and gifts. None of my partners family has even text to wish our son a happy birthday
I'm hurt for my son

What is everyone's views
Am I unreasonable to think that you could remember your grandson or nephew?

Or does anyone give a shit anymore

Did they text your partner instead of you?

Nope nada

Have his family sent cards or gifts and just not texted/phoned or have they not sent anything at all?

And did they do anything last year?

YANBU, of course a grandparent would usually remember and acknowledge their grandchild’s birthday, unless you don’t see/speak to them usually.

Well n my family things are often late.

Nothing from his side. No texts calls cards or gifts

It all depends on how your family relationships work . Do P family remember other children's birthdays in the family and your DS is the only one they have all forgotten? If so I would be asking myself why is that? Did they all get a gentle reminder? Some families need it especially if there are lots of birthdays to remember all year round

Are birthdays big in their family usually?

Did DH gently remind them at all on the group chat? In my family people often post things like "DC very excited about birthday coming up and wants his friends to dress up as astronauts but we said that's a bit too demanding."

Are you close with the family

Is there a dripfeed here? What did they do last birthday?

I would imagine all grandchildren and thought of I'm not sure.

I tried to put myself in my pil shoes and imagine myself as a grandmother. Id be embarrassed if I forgot my grand children's birthdays. Or my children's for that matter. And I always think of my neices and nephews

I'm not expecting lavish presents. Just a text or phone call. Everything else is a bonus

@Babysharksmom

I would imagine all grandchildren and thought of I'm not sure.

I tried to put myself in my pil shoes and imagine myself as a grandmother. Id be embarrassed if I forgot my grand children's birthdays. Or my children's for that matter. And I always think of my neices and nephews

I'm not expecting lavish presents. Just a text or phone call. Everything else is a bonus

Are you close to them

No drip feed. Just a question.

Not amazingly close. No fall outs

All birthdays have been thought of. This is the first ignored.

I'd be really hurt!! My ex's brothers didn't wish my dd happy 1st birthday till the next day because they didn't realise which day was her birthday!!
Do they celebrate birthdays in general? X

Are you sure they didn't send anything in the post? (Maybe hasn't arrived on time but they thought that was enough/received)

@Leaannb not sure what you are getting at

Are we close? So does that mean if you are close to your grandchild you send a text if not then fuck them??

Did your DH remind anyone?

It's not the end of the day yet - any chance they are coming round to say happy birthday in person in the garden ?

That is shit. I honestly just can’t imagine caring that little for my nephew. His birthday is next week and my mum has been planning her presents, card and visit for weeks.

@Ullupullu they have never sent anything via post. We live in the same place.

@Whostolemychocolate. Hurtful isn't it. Yes they do.

@TorkTorkBam we didnt remind them. They were aware of it

@TheHappyHerbivore it is shit isn't it. Your mum sounds lovely. And thoughtful

I feel your pain. I have utter arseholes for in laws who don’t treat my dc like their other gc. Missed or late birthdays, stupid impersonal gifts (because they don’t know them), no effort to keep in touch or visit I could go on and on.

I’ve gone NC with them, my DH LC. It’s their loss but it still hurts!! Pricks. And yes I’m embarrassed FOR them, what kind of mutants don’t want to celebrate their gc birthday’s???? Or just generally be involved in their lives????

Cut your losses OP you clearly aren’t a priority to them so don’t prioritise their feelings. Give what you get

My partner's sister did this this year. So I will not be acknowledging her for any Christmas or Birthday again. If my partner remembers thats up to him but I'm no longer interested. Famoly can be rubbish soemtimes and I find this a stressful part of birthdays- wondering who will let you down.

@TorkTorkBam

Did your DH remind anyone?

Grandparents (at least) shouldn't need reminding.