Am I being unreasonable

[Babysharksmom]

Have ncd for this as my mil is on here.

Ds2 is 2 today. Myself and P are both from large families. While everyone on my side remembered to text, phone send cards and gifts. None of my partners family has even text to wish our son a happy birthday
I'm hurt for my son

What is everyone's views
Am I unreasonable to think that you could remember your grandson or nephew?

Or does anyone give a shit anymore

I know at the moment your annoyed by it, and I would be too!! But please remember it isn't the kiddies fault, it's the parents! If you usually send a card and present then carry on don't lower yourself to their standards!
My ex's family never bothered to see my dd in over a year yet when I stopped going to family events and bothering with them I was the pathetic childish awkward one!! Xx

It does depend - I'm one of 4 children, so with everyone's husbands/partners/children etc, someone usually forgets someone's birthday at some point.

There was also the year when everyone on my side forgot my son's birthday. There wasn't any malice in the forgetting though - it was just a sad coincidence and they all got him belated cards and presents when I phoned them up and told them they'd forgotten him.

It sounds like there might be more to it than that with you though, as otherwise I don't understand why your partner hasn't phoned and asked them about the oversight already. They might be mortified to have forgotten - my family were.

Or maybe they really don't care - but at least you'll know and can adjust your behaviour towards them accordingly.

@Babysharksmom

No nothing! We spoke about it. He doesn't really understand. But we have both decided to take a step back in relation to other children's birthdays.

I think this is sad when people decided it’s tit for tat rather than their own standards.

@MiddleClassProblem it’s not as simple as tit for tat. It actually becomes about protecting yourself from feeling like shit. If you give to a relationship what you get from it you don’t have to feel guilty for treating them as they treat you.

I can understand your thinking but I still think that’s sad as very few relationships are equal and especially an instance like this where it’s DH’s relationship with his nieces and nephews being hit. I think it’s better to do what you would do in this case. Sending cards/gifts and not receiving them isn’t the biggest hardship. I could write it off as that’s what they do. OP hasn’t mentioned any other grievances.

I'm not sure birthdays are that important to lot of people, some people really don't make a big deal of it. Ill try and remember birthdays if I can but conversations like this terrify me as I don't want to upset anyone!
I forget a lot of things and kids birthdays just aren't something that I'll think "I know I'll write that down". It wasn't a big deal for me when younger so I have to try harder to remember it now if that makes any sense.
However if they are usually on top of other things, and other GC birthdays.... Maybe check.
Do you think they are doing it deliberately?