To not want DH to get a new car

[Yellow2576]

There are 2 parts to this tale.

1. We have 2 cars. I drive the larger family car which is 3 years old. I chose it. It’s not an expensive make of car. We have a second much smaller car which is 6 years old, has no problems and is driven by DH no more than 20 miles a week. DH currently WFM and previously commuted to London weekly so second car sat in a railway station car park during the week and at weekends usually does one trip with kids to an activity. In order not to drip feed, second car was bought 5 years ago primarily Because my job changed and the second car we had at the time really was a tiny run around which DH didn’t feel it was safe enough for a 60 mile round trip on motorways and main car was needed for the nanny, which we no longer have. DH and I chose it together. DH wants to trade the second car in for a much bigger car & engine size in a more expensive make of car. Whilst we can afford this I think it’s a complete waste of money. If DH has a job that had a long commute I wouldn’t think this was unreasonable, but at no point in the foreseeable future is DH going to be driving more than 20 miles a week.
2. DH really cant drive. In the 10 years I’ve known him he has driven into a stationary object every year. If we’d claimed for all of these on insurance he would be uninsurable. Fortunately the only one we’ve had to use insurance on was when it was a Q7 parked outside our house that he reversed into, and it was just too much to not use insurance. But we’ve spent £500-1000 every year fixing his prangs. He simply has no spacial awareness......and I have no idea how he manages when he is driving on roads as I refuse to be his passenger.

Anyway, he has found the car he wants and had ours valued as part exchange. Just as I’m Leaving the house today I noticed a big score along the bumper of the second car. I asked him what it was, he said ‘l’ll tell you later’. I am livid. He has bloody well driven into a wall or something that he hasn’t seen. We literally got the bumper replaced a month ago from his last prang.

He thinks I’m mean for saying that he shouldn’t get a new car. I think we might as well put 1000 £20 notes on a bonfire....and then do the same with 100 every year because this new car is going to cost way more to fix than the current one.

And any advice how I contain my anger when I get home, because I just can’t keep it in every time he hits the car on a non moving object.

Can you encourage him to get an Ebike? He might be better, safer and cheaper as a Lycra Lout

A ridiculous waste of money. Is your savings and emergency fund large? Dies he realize what the car costs will detract from other financial goals?

What a complete waste of money. Why not make a bet with him?
He drives the car he currently has with such care that he doesn’t prang it for 6 months and if he manages it, you’ll change your mind.

I would be buying him a bloody bus pass...

When was his last sight test?

Even if you didn’t make claims I hope he declared all of those accidents when he renewed his insurance.

That aside, I don’t see why he shouldn’t get a different car if he wants one and the car can be afforded. I drive very little (centralish London), but I like having a car and I very much love a certain model so I choose to upgrade every three years.

Jesus Christ he needs a bicycle, not a car

He would never put our children in a car he was driving and frankly I'd tell him that for 20 miles a week he can walk/use a bike and if he ever drives again our marriage is over. I wouldn't stay married to a man likely to kill someone because he's such a selfish twat

These people who cant drive really should....
Not drive
They are dangerous. It isnt funny whatsoever and the cosmetic damage to your car is the least of your their concerns

Given you have two perfectly functional cars that suit your purpose... why does he want to spend money on a new one?

Presumably it's just because it's shiny and he wants it? How would he react to you having the same amount of money to spend on something that you want (but which you don't need)?

Surely if he used to commute to London then isn’t he going to go back to working in London.

If he really can’t drive then I think he needs to get some extra driving lessons and instead of a new car I would invest in getting some beepers front and back put in his current car.

When was the last time he had his eyes tested?

He should not be driving at all. Indeed I would support you going to the DVLA or whatever it is called now, if you chose to do that.

Eyesight may be the issue, or something else.

Parking sensors and safety alerts won't make any difference, it sounds like driving doesn't come naturally to him so he will always have bumps and scrapes, that's just the way it is.

Maybe arranging your finances so that you're each responsible for your own car costs would be a better idea. That way you don't have to worry about repair costs and he can continue playing bumper cars when parking.

Presume he doesn’t drive the kids around...?

He has been fully assessed by the DVLA within the last 12 months and deemed fit to drive.

Does he have a notifiable condition then?
They only go on yes or no and a doctors report. The doctor clearly doesnt know he smashes his car into things regularly. By evading the insurance you are hiding it.

I thought with most car insurers, you have to report all incidents no matter how minor?

Let’s be honest his premium would shoot up if his insurance company was fully aware of his history

Whether they were claimed for or not, he should be declaring all accidents to his insurance. Seems to me he's uninsurable if he tells the truth, and with good reason. I wouldn't be agreeing to a new car, I think I'd be looking at more driving lessons for him. What is his explanation for all the bumps?

I don't think the DVLA do their own assessments, do they? They just ask the dr for their assessment, and how would your dr know that he's hitting/denting the car so often? This is an odd story, I feel we are missing some information like why the OP's husband would need a DVLA assessment anyway- is that for seizures, or old age, or was he reported?

It doesn't really matter what the DVLA say though, he still can't drive properly and hits things. So far it has been walls and possibly other cars, it could be a person or even just bumping a car of a person who gets very upset.

At the very least, he needs an automatic with parking sensors, and to perhaps do an adult driving course- ROSPA do one that is fab and turned my husband from a boy racer into a sensible defensive driver.

Did he tell you that dvla tested him and said he's fit to drive?

Would it not be cheaper to get rid of the second car and him get a taxi to and from the station?

I’d definitely not bother fixing prangs. But yeh, I’d be against he buying a new one if it’s not going to be used half the time. Also the more expensive the car the riskier it is being left in a car park for a week at a time?

the dvla dont test people themselves

Perhaps the DVLA do test people with disabilities and an adapted car, I don't know? But for most things they just write to the GP and the person has to declare anything relevant.

Unless dvla you mention is an off shot of Hogwarts...
Keep him off the road op.. Do us all a favour.

Well, he works hard and you can afford it - why not?
We live in London and DH commutes by train or bike. However, our second car is a camper van that he really wanted to have. It just sits in the drive and often doesn’t get used for a month. It’s a bit of a waste but DH is very happy to have it.

I think that you are burying your head in the sand if you are now saying that DVLA have passed him? They have to have a GPs assessment, why would this have been done in any event? Has your DH had concerns already?