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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU about marked school uniform?

57 replies

44PumpLane · 04/09/2020 08:54

Morning, genuinely interested in others opinions here please. I'll try and be super brief so no mega back story.

Twins have been at private nursery since 1yo and only had 1 or 2 instances of craft glue not coming out of clothes.

Started school nursery (alongside private nursery) in Jan this year, went till March when Covid shut everything.

In the 2 months at school nursery 2 of their cardigans have been marked with pen that won't come out of the fabric. This has never happened at the private nursery, so think it may be an unfortunate choice of pen by school nursery.

Term started again on Weds, I went to put one of the pen marked cardis on one of the twins (they are still in school nursery and their Jan clothes still fit) this morning and DH has told me he is not sending his children into school in ruined clothes.

I feel this is ridiculous, they are kids, they will mark their clothes and I'm not throwing out perfectly good clothes because there is some pen on it.

He thinks the kids (3, nearly 4) will be bullied for having tatty clothes.

I think this is a difference in how we grew up, he grew up poor and his school people were horrible to each other, I led a fairly charmed life and benefitted from being in an area where mostly people were nice, some low level kid stuff but nothing serious, people just got along.

So:
YABU: Don't send your children to school in clothing that has pen marks on it.

YANBU: it's fine to send small kids to school in clothing that has some pen marks on.

Additional points: the clothing was asda brand and we can afford to replace,
The pen marks are noticeable rather than being one small mark on a sleeve for example.

OP posts:

Original poster

44PumpLane · 04/09/2020 08:54

Also apologies this is dull! I'm just interested in others opinions.

OP posts:

serialreturner · 04/09/2020 08:56

It's insane to blame a state nursery for getting clothes dirty, rather than private.

They are kids. The clothes aren't ruined.

Whatisthisfuckery · 04/09/2020 08:58

The clothing got spoiled in the space of two months, as you said, probably by a poor choice of pen by the nursery. Why spend more money on buying clothing that will only get marked anyway when what they’ve already got still fits. It’s only what the new stuff will look like in a few weeks anyway. Does your DH suggest buying new clothes every few weeks? Ridiculous.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 04/09/2020 08:59

This is why I like simple uniform for nursery/infant years... It can get those small pen, mud and other such stains on it, but can still be used.

The only item I didn't reuse was the one with the massive browny-orange mud stain on the bottom area. That was the only time she (and 3-4 others) didn't come home in uniform- they had got a bit overenthusiastic with the hosepipe in the flower beds apparently.

Averyyounggrandmaofsix · 04/09/2020 09:00

I was with you until you said it was noticeable not just small mark on sleeves.

TeenPlusTwenties · 04/09/2020 09:01

They won't get bullied about this at nursery/infant age.
Every other child will have pen marks.

BluebellsGreenbells · 04/09/2020 09:01

School expect kids to have marked clothes. They engage in messy play. That’s the very reason they have a uniform.

4 year olds don’t care about marked clothes.

BrieAndChilli · 04/09/2020 09:01

I wouldn’t put it on them for first day back but would send them in in it when other clothes were in wash for example or if I knew they were having a messy day at school.

You say it’s more than a little mark on the sleeve - how much are we talking?

BluebellsGreenbells · 04/09/2020 09:02

It’ll be white board marker pens.

Try rubbing alcohol and paper towels to remove

Shantotto · 04/09/2020 09:03

My son started school this year and on his second day came home covered in black paint on his polo shirt. It has not come out and there are about 5 or 6 small blotches across the front of it. I’m still sending him wearing it. At this rate I’ll be buying a new shirt a week!

GreyishDays · 04/09/2020 09:06

We had this aged four at school. She had two sweatshirts, one with pen, one without. She wore both.

Children don’t notice or care about these things till much, much later.

Clymene · 04/09/2020 09:10

It's whiteboard markers. It happens to all children, whether they are in state or primary. Clean, new clothes with pen marks on them aren't 'tatty'.

Serin · 04/09/2020 09:11

Your DH is being ridiculous and this is the sort of attitude that leads to the growth of designer gear.
I grew up in similar circumstances to your DH and also considered buying expensive branded shoes and backpacks in case they got bullied. Funnily enough it's the other way round in this more boho area and here they get scoffed off at for having designer kit.

Tanith · 04/09/2020 09:12

Tell DH to look at the children coming out of school at the end of the day.
Most days, I can tell what they had for dinner from the state of Reception's clothes (and a fair few of Y1, too). I can tell if they had PE by the way they're dressed - or not! I can tell if they had art by the paint and glue up their sleeves and down their jumpers. I know if they've had forest school from the mud spatters on their trousers and socks.

Not all those stains come out, especially tomato.

A bit of pen is nothing

Original poster

44PumpLane · 04/09/2020 09:13

serialreturner

It's insane to blame a state nursery for getting clothes dirty, rather than private.

Ah I see it comes across like that, I wasn't meaning "blame" I honestly dont mind, my point was only that as it had happened twice in 2 months at the school nursery I would imagine it will happen again, perhaps frequently. Thus backing up my point of not wishing to replace the clothing as its so new other than the pen marks and more of the clothing will probably get marked.

Thanks foe the replies so far..... I don't thing 3/4 year olds notice this sort of stuff either and yes, my husband suggested we buy another cardi and if it happens again we bill the school (this is the point at which I told him he was out of touch with reality)!!!

Thanks BluebellsGreenbells I will try rubbing alcohol like you suggest.

To others asking about how marked the top is I will try and post a pic.

OP posts:

Original poster

44PumpLane · 04/09/2020 09:16

Oh and yes the state of the kids at the end of the school day is comedy...... Every one of them grubby and covered in something!!

OP posts:

Original poster

44PumpLane · 04/09/2020 09:21

Pic attached (I hope)

OP posts:

wonkylegs · 04/09/2020 09:24

Your husband needs to relax or you'll be buying new uniform hundreds of times a year - ridiculous on many counts and environmentally disastrous

These marks are part of school life, it shows your kids are getting stuck in and doing stuff. All kids get them to some extent.

Kids Stain removal is an art you get better at just as they get better at keeping clean 🤦‍♀️ however google is a godsend

home.howstuffworks.com/home-improvement/household-hints-tips/cleaning-organizing/how-to-get-dry-erase-marker-out-of-clothes.htm

The other saving grace is realising nobody cares - the kids don't care, the other parents done care and the teachers don't care - clean the clothes but don't worry about the marks you can't get off.

Thenneverendingstorohree · 04/09/2020 09:25

This is the point of school uniform - clothes that can get marked or paint stains and it’s not a big deal. I buy new uniform at the start of the year and then after that it has to keep going unless they grow out of it. I doubt anyone would notice whether it happened last week or the same day. I think you’re right that this is probably a trigger/trauma for him if he was bullied but it’s not something I’ve come across.

Serendipity79 · 04/09/2020 09:31

For my two in primary school I only replace jumpers/cardigans if they're really badly marked, or if they get torn. I buy new polo shirts every half term, as by week 4 I cant get all the pen out of them and the white is fading!

However I do buy cheap Asda uniform to minimise the cost and they have one school badged jumper/cardigan which we use for school photos, school trips and end of term concerts etc - basically any even where its nice to show the school badge.

Billing the school is a really silly idea and will make him look foolish. Kids do get messy in school but that's one of the points of having uniform, so they wont damage their own non school clothes.

Averyyounggrandmaofsix · 04/09/2020 09:31

Having seen the photo I have changed my mind, you can see the clothes are in good condition.

DianasLasso · 04/09/2020 09:32

At that age DS's uniform used to look atrocious very rapidly! That's why it's a good idea to heed the wise advice I got on here many years ago: buy two 3 packs of shirts, put 5 into everyday use and put the 6th somewhere safe for school photo day .

Your DH is being daft - other kids will not notice pen marks on uniforms and will be covered in them themselves.

Mintjulia · 04/09/2020 09:35

Your dh needs to look after two primary aged children for a year. He'll change his mind within a few weeks. Small children aren't fastidious even if he is

sleepyhead · 04/09/2020 09:38

Ds2 went through a stage of constantly coming home with polo shirts marked with whiteboard marker. It was really irritating.

I wouldn't have sent him in on school photo day with a marked shirt on, but on a regular day, absolutely.

SageRosemary · 04/09/2020 09:40

Your great-grandchildren will thank you for saving the planet.

And it sounds like the nursery is a good, fun place for children

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