AIBU about marked school uniform?

[44PumpLane]

Morning, genuinely interested in others opinions here please. I'll try and be super brief so no mega back story.

Twins have been at private nursery since 1yo and only had 1 or 2 instances of craft glue not coming out of clothes.

Started school nursery (alongside private nursery) in Jan this year, went till March when Covid shut everything.

In the 2 months at school nursery 2 of their cardigans have been marked with pen that won't come out of the fabric. This has never happened at the private nursery, so think it may be an unfortunate choice of pen by school nursery.

Term started again on Weds, I went to put one of the pen marked cardis on one of the twins (they are still in school nursery and their Jan clothes still fit) this morning and DH has told me he is not sending his children into school in ruined clothes.

I feel this is ridiculous, they are kids, they will mark their clothes and I'm not throwing out perfectly good clothes because there is some pen on it.

He thinks the kids (3, nearly 4) will be bullied for having tatty clothes.

I think this is a difference in how we grew up, he grew up poor and his school people were horrible to each other, I led a fairly charmed life and benefitted from being in an area where mostly people were nice, some low level kid stuff but nothing serious, people just got along.

So:
YABU: Don't send your children to school in clothing that has pen marks on it.

YANBU: it's fine to send small kids to school in clothing that has some pen marks on.

Additional points: the clothing was asda brand and we can afford to replace,
The pen marks are noticeable rather than being one small mark on a sleeve for example.

As others have said totally normal! My mum was a bit like your husband at first (she helps with school runs out of choice) but even she sends her in in them now! I have also heard rubbing alcohol works but haven't tried as all kids are the same and none of them (or the teachers!) are remotely bothered

I remember a parent at my children's Montessori getting very upset that her daughter's gorgeous expensive clothes were being ruined🙄what did she expect in an environment where some form of crafting was done EVERY SINGLE DAY 🙄.

The school sensibly, specifically mentioned older clothes in the Welcome Pack.

When DS was small I managed my own expectations by him being clean and half presentable at the beginning of the day. Not so much by the end. A tiny bit of pen is nothing and no one will notice. Children need to express themselves and I love children that look like they have had a good time.

@Florencex

I agree with your DH, I am from a similar poor background and we had tatty clothes and children can definitely notice it, comment on it and some will bully because of it. I think posters that say it doesn’t happen have just maybe never had it happen to them.

We didn’t have a school uniform in primary and my mother always sent us to school in the scruffy clothes because “it didn’t matter” although we had nicer clothes at home that we could only wear at weekends. It was awful, we were definitely known as the scruffy family at school.

I can’t see the photo very clearly but it looks like there is a mark on the sleeve and two down the front. I don’t think it needs to be replaced urgently but I would replace it.

But the children are only 3! I really don't think they would be bullied for this at that age.

Perhaps as they get older it'll be something to think about, but I've had 11 years in the classroom in various schools and not had bullying incidents related to marks on clothing.

The jumpers fine OP will only happen again

I've been able to get sharpie out of my sons coat (name written in for school- now selling on so thought I'd remove it) using hairspray & a damp flannel. It only took 3/4 applications of hairspray & it's all disappeared. Why don't you try that? & my son spent his entire nursery time in paint/pen stained clothes. He only got mucky there so it was silly to send him in new stuff to get ruined. The other kids won't care, staff will think it's sensible & other parents won't notice!

I wouldn't get rid of the marked cardigans and I definitely wouldn't mention it to the school! But being completely honest, I would probably put DCs in other cardis when I could, but definitely keep the marked ones in rotation for if the others were in the wash etc.