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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Wedding Stress

91 replies

Brideorbridezilla · 03/09/2020 15:30

Really need to hear what the general consensus is on this issue...

My fiance and I got engaged in May and we are planning our wedding for mid July next year. We would both have been the first in our families to be getting married.

My fiancé's brother and his longterm girlfriend have recently also got engaged and announced they will be getting married early next year (late Jan/early Feb).

My partner had spoken to his brother before our engagement to let him know he was planning to ask me soon to make sure it didn't impact on his brothers plans in any way and his brother didn't mention any wedding plans then.

AIBU to think his brother and partner have totally taken the shine off our engagement? They are saying they want a small informal event that can be arranged quickly and seem bewildered that this has upset me so much.

AIBU?

OP posts:

heartsonacake · 03/09/2020 19:41

YABVU. You got engaged months ago, they’ve only just announced their engagement, and they’re getting married six months before you.

What exactly is the issue? Why should he have spoken to you about it? It’s none of your business. How can you possibly be upset?

KeepingPlain · 03/09/2020 19:41

Get over this quickly and realise how stupid you sound, or your marriage will be a lot shorter than you think it will.

User43210 · 03/09/2020 21:35

@Brideorbridezilla I can understand your annoyance and I probably would be, too. Privately. You can't really say that to them though. Have a girl friend you can complain to, but unfortunately it's not your choice.

MerylBleep · 03/09/2020 23:35

Ah well then @Piffle11, you've got one up in the marriage stakes over the other couple, eh...

MerylBleep · 03/09/2020 23:37

Has anyone here actually enjoyed a wedding?

Yes but only when the food and drink was excellent.

BackforGood · 03/09/2020 23:45

Fair play to you for taking the comments on board, and understanding why you need to apologise, meaningfully.

However, I do agree with the pp who said "If your wedding planning is causing you this much stress, then you are doing it wrong"

I imagine venues , photographers, caterers, musicians, etc will be very busy next Summer and you might have to compromise on one thing or another, but keep in your mind this is a ceremony, and then a party. The important thing is the marriage, not whether this detail or that detail is "perfect" on one day.

Crunchymum · 03/09/2020 23:56

You could always push your wedding forward to December?

If you want to be an ultimate cunt

Piffle11 · 04/09/2020 07:17

@MerylBleep yup

seayork2020 · 04/09/2020 07:27

I will admit to fully enjoying my wedding my mum organized and we just showed up, it was a great night!

anyway maybe take a step back and realise a wedding is one event the point of actually getting married is the marriage, no offense to anyone's weddding but it is not as exciting for others as the B&G, would you actually be giving you future BIL and his wife the excitement that you want for your wedding?

I am happy for nay couple getting married and will have fun and congratulate them on the actual day - but no flippin way and I being excited for a year about any wedding including my own! (no offense to my husband it the wedding bit I am talking about)

Feagle · 04/09/2020 07:33

Dude, you should have blocked out the whole year on the family calendar. Or make it two, to be on the safe side.

Make sure you do the same when you start trying to conceive.

Wakemeupwhenthisisover · 04/09/2020 08:07

Are you upset because now you won’t be the first to get married? Your day will still be special, I went I 6 weddings in one year once and 4 of those weddings in the same month. I enjoy all of the weddings for what they were and they were all special in their own right. Op you are unreasonable, I can’t believe you actually mentioned it to them?

MotherPiglet · 04/09/2020 08:08

Does it matter?

India999 · 04/09/2020 08:13

100% unreasonable.

LadyPenelope68 · 04/09/2020 08:15

HAHAHAHAGAHAHAHAHA!!!
This is one of the most ridiculous posts EVER!
Get a grip, you’re not that special!!

timeisnotaline · 04/09/2020 08:27

I’m glad op has realised 😆. We didn’t have a very low key wedding and there was one Bil and two friends and a cousin who got engaged after us and married before us. This was of course completely irrelevant to our wedding!

NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite · 04/09/2020 08:32

Is this because you were the first to get engaged so wanted to be the first to get married? I think you should look into why it matters to you rather than just being pleased for others.

In a few years time you'll discover, after going to more weddings, that they aren't of great importance to anyone other than the bride and groom.

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