To ask your most WTF moments

[latheritup]

We went to the zoo recently and was walking down to the tiger enclosure. We saw a man had jumped over the fence into the greenery to retrieve his glasses that 'fell off' and subsequently the tigers all came to the front of their enclosure.

I can't think why he wouldn't ask a zookeeper to safely get them or was he just trying to get the tigers closer for a better pic?! Either way my face was

I've attached a wonderful diagram. Very proud of it

Just had a brand new WTF moment this very evening.

Watching Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and Ron Weasley turns into Dave Coaches from Gavin and Stacey.

I mean - there's magic, and there's magic. . .

I was expecting Hermione to tell him he was riddled. (Geddit?)

The French dog has reminded me of a woman I worked with when I lived in France. She used to give me lifts to work with her dog on her lap, biting her fingers and yapping constantly ("Olympe, tais-toi! And don't bite Maman!") She drove quite erratically, too, down buslanes and the wrong way down one-way streets.

My stand-out memory is of her recounting a row with her boyfriend - as she called him- they were in their 50s and had been together for years. He was a consultant psychiatrist.

"So!" She was telling me dramatically, "he says if I leave, he will have me committed to an asylum!" Tossing her head, "but I am not going to be intimidated , so I just waited till he was at the clinic the next day, and then I defrosted all his dogs and left!"

Turns out the psychiatrist-boyfriend had kept miniature poodles for years, was passionately devoted to them, and when they died, kept their bodies in a chest freezer.

I was about 21 at the time and a very polite English girl. I remember sitting there watching Olympe nipping her mistress's knuckles and desperately casting about for an appropriate response 🤣

Waiting for a tram in a very busy square in the centre of a major European city, at about 6pm in summer so broad daylight, noticed that at the stop on the other side of the tram lines some guy had his willy out and was quite brazenly having a wank.

My first reaction was to pull my camera out, not because I wanted a picture of his willy, but to send the message "I am on to you and when i report it I will have photographic evidence."

But then I saw the look on the face of a prim little old lady standing next to me - I'm pretty sure she thought I was some kind of wank tourist and was more shocked at what I was doing than at what he was doing!

Oh, and a teenage boy walking along the road with his trousers round his ankles for no apparent reason (he did have pants on), just looking at his phone and otherwise behaving like a perfectly normal teenage boy. That one was in England.

I looked out my window and saw Thomas the Tank Engine gliding along in the distance.

Turned out it was Thomas - on the back of a flat back lorry driving along the road - which put Thomas at hedge height.

Out in Southend with a friend and our DC. Saw a man walking down the street wearing a shirt open to the navel, gold medallion and a paid of underpants. Not boxers or swim shorts - clearly underpants. Just strolling along the street - not even on the beach!

Friends DS has never got over it. He kept shouting ' he's got no trousers on' and of course we kept seeing him! He mentions it often about the place where the man had no trousers.

Lots of blue flashing lights on the road outside my bedsit window. I was a student nurse and the bedsit was in a student, student nurse, night working woman area and not unusual.

Turned out the guy they picked up, within view of my window, was the Yorkshire Ripper. (Sheffield late 1970s).

A few years ago, DH and i walking the dogs through a wood, following a track. We heard shouting and clanging noises, wondering what was going on up ahead. Came into a clearing which was full of men wearing chain mail and armour, all with swords, fighting each other!

Another one, I used to work in a school for children with disabilities, so lots of staff like physiotherapists, occupational therapists, etc. based in the school. I was in the middle of teaching a class, playing an Elvis song as part of the lesson. Suddenly, the door flew open, 3 physios ran in, frantically danced to Elvis for about a minute and then ran out again. The children and I were speechless, couldn't believe what had just happened.

I was on a work training course. We were on something like the 10th floor and all our seats faced the large windows. The session was pretty boring so we were all gazing past the trainer and looking out of the window. The adjacent building was lower and we had a perfect view of the flat roof. Out came a couple of guys who proceeded to mess around. They ran across the roof towards the edge as if to just run off it, and then stopped suddenly. There was no fence and nothing to stop them toppling over the edge if they mistimed or had a wobble. It must have gone on for about 20 minites or so until they just went back in. It was the only topic we talked about when we had a break!

Walking through a small park after my lunch break I noticed three men with a massive snake. After stopping dead (not a fan of snakes) it became clear that the men had taken the snake out for a 'walk', even bringing their own rocks with them so it felt at home. It was a WTF moment but also quite sweet

Looking out my bedroom window with DD4 we saw a massive inflatable pikachu walking down the street knocking on doors. It must have been 8ft tall. Turns out they were advertising a local pizza place but not sure why they were dressed as Pokemon. DD started screaming, wasn't over it by bedtime and had to sleep in my bed!

A few years ago we stopped at a crossing and watched a pedestrian slowly cross in front of us. Wearing a horses head. Apparently there was a man travelling the country at the time, wearing a brown horse head and we had read about it but didn't expect to stop for him.

One day at a garden centre, passed a man with something round his neck. Not a scarf as one might think. It was a ferret, just happily wrapped around his owner.

Driving along the A303 heading west on the day some major military live firing exercises were going to be taking place. Got caught in some slow moving traffic for a while and was staring out the nearside window as XP was boring me to death with his bitching and noticed a very long silver tube with a pointed end in the ditch running alongside the road, about 3 foot away from my seat. I thought 'Oh, that's shiny like a big bullet' and told XP, who informed me I was a fucking idiot and it's obviously a gas main being laid at the same as Fucking Americans wanting to play soldiers and then went on about his six months in the TA that made him a literal commando for about half an hour

About five miles on, the traffic was absolutely stationary and I mentally sighed at the moaning I was going to be subject to this time. Right on cue, XP started effing and blinding about fucking roadworks.

Then a bunch of very heavily togged out soldiers appeared from ahead and ran past. The main word I heard over the thump of their boots was 'FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK' and as I leaned out of the window to see what they were doing, I glanced ahead and could see the turret of some sort of tank in the distance.

Eventually, the traffic started moving again and we went slowly on our way, only to pass a long line of very large military vehicles, all of which look as though they'd been handbrake turned into the side of the road and abandoned at speed.

Yup. They'd just realised they had dropped something. A big live something.

Watched a man shit on a bus seat once - just squatted and diarrhea everywhere . Wiped his arse with his hands and got off . Shit everywhere . All down his legs and on the floor . Handrails, everywhere .

Secondary school, watched supposedly competent teachers do very odd things .
One had a stamping feet tantrum, jumping up and down, and shoved child in a cupboard, locking a door, because pupil questioned the notion that she thought her piece of fruit was talking to her . Another so incandescent with rage that he turned puce, threw a desk across the room, punched the wall and reduced other teacher to sobbing - because someone forgot their homework or something along that lines ... the time my teacher and her teacher husband picked me up in their car for some reason - spent the whole journey screaming/swearing at each other ... then the day a deputy headteacher brought her baby in so she could show us how to change a nappy, bath a baby and breastfeed ... we were 12!

I'm guessing some of these involving wildlife and livestock are from people who live in cities/urban areas?

Where I live livestock on the road is a generally acceptable excuse for being late for anything 😂

I was once in a cafe where there was a curry on the specials board, I asked the waitress how hot/spicy it was and she went into great detailing describing it to me. I said "ooh that sounds lovely I'll have that please!"

"Sorry we've none left"

and this one, middle of Leeds, I can only assume she didn't have enough hands??

When I was a young teenager I saw my friend's dad pull up in a kfc car park, then walk through the drive through to order, pay and collect his food

Ooh also at school at lunchtime, walked past a window where two teachers were having lunch. One pulled out a pot of double cream and drank it.lot

In a pub beer garden a man's dog did a big shit and he picked it up with his bare hands and threw it in the hedge

My WTF moment might be reading upthread that someone told their four year old to wee in a pool??!

The last time I went swimming a mum and little girl were getting out of the pool when the little girl said, "Oh mummy, not had a wee yet" got back into the pool and squatted in the shallow bit.

Mine was in Uruguay, where they drink mate out of these cups with a sort of straw in them.

Understatement of the year.

Any street you walk down in Uruguay there will be someone with a flask making mate or drinking it. People have beautifully decorated leather bags specially made to hold a thermos and 2 mate 'cups' because it's better shared than not.

And the metal 'straws' (bombilla) come in numerous different shapes.

Yerba mate is a serious drink in Uruguay.

One weekend morning a long time ago, before the smoking ban, a friend dropped by for a cuppa and asked if they could light up. I said yes and was looking for an ashtray when my brother, who was living with me at the time, came in. I jokingly said to him 'you wouldn't happen to have an ashtray in your pocket, would you?'
He looked at me all WTAF??? and proceeded to pull an enormous red Marlboro ashtray from his coat pocket. He wasn't a smoker either.

My uncle and his partner have been visiting Sitges in Spain every year for years, so about 10 years ago my grandparents decided they wanted to visit too. We booked one of the less flamboyant hotels for them and myself and my mum went along to pick them up for our first lunch of the trip. In the lift on the way down to the lobby, my grandpa was showing off his new cargo shorts, saying how chuffed he was with them but that his poor legs were very exposed (they covered his knees). Just as he said that, the lift doors opened and in stepped a bronzed adonis, barefoot and wearing nothing but a teeny florescent green thong. He turned to face the door and I couldn't help but snigger at my gran who was squeaming with embarrassment but could not stop glancing at his perfect bum. My grandpa just said 'oh!' and kept his mouth shut till we made it to the restaurant.

@AnneElliott

Out in Southend with a friend and our DC. Saw a man walking down the street wearing a shirt open to the navel, gold medallion and a paid of underpants. Not boxers or swim shorts - clearly underpants. Just strolling along the street - not even on the beach!

Friends DS has never got over it. He kept shouting ' he's got no trousers on' and of course we kept seeing him! He mentions it often about the place where the man had no trousers.

Last year, while out for a stroll along a route favoured by joggers.

I saw a middle aged man in a runner's singlet, sweatbands and headband and, wearing a pair of pale blue Y fronts with white piping, beige ankle socks and a pair of black shiny brogues making, understandably, heavy weather at jogging.

Many years ago and I was just back from living abroad and was asked to house sit my mother's family home while they decided what to do with it.

The house was a large Victorian three storey affair in a very posh area. As I hadn't much else to do until I got back on my feet, I took to tending the large garden.

One morning, about dawn, I heard footsteps crunching on the gravel drive and loud whispers. I pulled back the curtains to see two elderly ladies, all done up in tweedy outfits, hunched over a flower bed digging up flowers and putting them in a plastic carrier bag. I opened the window and asked what they thought they were doing and got a hissed "SHIT!" and they both scarpered, leaving their plunder behind them.

@GreatestShowUnicorn

Driving down a country road near york saw two horses at the side of the road trip as literally about to pull over and call 999 when I realised they were tied up guessing someone was using them to cut the grass at the side of the road!

There are a LOT of horses fly-grazed up here. Tethered by the neck and moved every day onto various verges and roundabouts. Not legal. And also quite scary when the tether snaps and you're driving past, assuming the horse is fixed, only to find it wandering down the road in front of your car...

Will tell you my late DHs WTF moment which I have told on here before..
Was before we got married.. I lived in at a hotel 40 mins from his... He picked me up at 11pm one night after my shift and he was driving me home...
I fell asleep almost as soon as we left the hotel... 10 mins later DH turned off the main A road onto a country road.. The next thing I knew he slammed on the brakes so hard I nearly hit the dashboard and announced he had seen the ghost of a Russian Cossack.. Matters were not improved when I started laughing..
What DH had actually seen in the dark on a farm driveway was a lady known locally as Mad Mary (not my choice of name!) She found her husband dead and had a mental breakdown... She had three outfits that she alternated... The cossack one, a boy scout one and a long white lollypop ladies coat with a white sailors hat...
She would often come into the hotel order herself a pot of tea and sit and have a conversation with herself for two hours... I felt very sorry for her..
Poor DH had a very large whisky when we got home!!