To ask your most WTF moments

[latheritup]

We went to the zoo recently and was walking down to the tiger enclosure. We saw a man had jumped over the fence into the greenery to retrieve his glasses that 'fell off' and subsequently the tigers all came to the front of their enclosure.

I can't think why he wouldn't ask a zookeeper to safely get them or was he just trying to get the tigers closer for a better pic?! Either way my face was

I've attached a wonderful diagram. Very proud of it

@diggadoo

Diagram of what I saw recently with one of the workmen that was here. Was a definite WTF moment. I was asked by him to go and check something!! How did he not know??

I feel even more sick now. Are they still at your house taking the piss?

Another one - no idea why all my WTF moments involve animals...

Someone from the village came to tell me that my big black cat had been hit by a car and killed. He took me to show me the body. I brought my lovely chap home and buried him in his favourite spot in the garden.

Later that night I walked into the living room to find my black cat peering in at me from the patio. I'd buried someone else's cat...

I was walking past a securicore van which was parked next to an ATM when suddenly a megaphone level, top volume, damsel in distress voice started shouting from it - ‘Help! Help! I’m under attack!’ There was no one to be seen and the disembodied voice continued for as long as I was in hearing distance. People looked bemused but just carried on with their business...

@Chanjer

Once was walking along in London and saw some guy get hit by a car. The car properly hit him, he got knocked back onto the pavement and the only thing that really happened was his shoe went flying about 10 metres down the road and otherwise he was completely unharmed

Not quite as dramatic but I was waiting to cross a road (standing on the pavement behind the kerb) and a young lad in a mini (old type, this was back in the 80s) was driving too fast, one wheel went up the kerb and straight over my foot. I was totally uninjured, it didn't even particularly hurt! Wearing monkey boots probably helped, but it was definitely a WTF moment

I was probably someone's wtf moment when I made dh and fil park up and help me retrieve a lamb that had escaped the field. 20 minutes in the dark and rain we chased that fucker. It eventually made it's way back in under a fence 🙄

I have also chased a donkey that had knocked me over and escaped his stable. He ran off and I followed in a head of foils and hairdressers cape.

To explain, my pony was stabled in the same block so whilst waiting for highlights to develop I headed to yard to start some jobs, in theory to save time later that day. Never again.

Sat in our lounge watching telly when someone knocked on the door. DH glanced out of the window to see who it was, and calmly informs me “there’s a naked man at the door”

We’re both gaping out the window at this completely naked stranger when a police car pulls up outside. The copper jumps out and comes down our path, so we open the door.

Copper - do you know him?
Us - nope
Copper- it’s ok, he’s diabetic.
Us......
Copper.......
Naked man- yup diabetic
Copper- come on Jim, let’s go. (Names changed to protect the innocent)
Naked man and copper stroll up the path, get into car and drive off.

I saw a woman in Asda in a see through shirt, as in fine transparent mesh that was thinner than net curtain.

No bra.

I thought, "that's a bit bold for buying sprouts", but to be fair, she was absolutely beautiful and had magnificent breasts. Had to admire her a bit.

My WTF moment might be reading upthread that someone told their four year old to wee in a pool??! As though that’s a normal thing to do..?? I know baby swim nappies don’t hold pee and yes, babies will pee in the pool but not taking a four year old to the toilet is really revolting and a pretty terrible thing to teach the kid!

Oh, we weren't anything to do with the film crew, we do this every year! Its a body positive skinny dip called this is me:happy in my skin!!

In 1970's we were on a family holiday in Ireland. We were driving to our next destination, it was a very foggy day and we were behind an Esso fuel tanker. Didn't know the road, too foggy to overtake safely so settled down to follow the tanker.
A Mercedes came up behind us, made several abortive attempts to overtake and then gave up. The nearside hedge gave way to a very wide grass verge. The Merc swung up onto the verge and proceeded to inch past us on the inside. As they drew level, the Merc was being driven by a priest with 3 nuns in the passenger seats, all looking grimly ahead whilst being bounced about on the grass verge. Eventually they got past us and started to inch up the inside of the lorry, only for the verge to run out (it must have gone on for miles!).
They had to brake very sharply, the lorry continued on with us following, the Merc swung back onto the road and meekly followed us to the next town where it turned off.

I was walking near a performing arts college once and two men walked past dressed and made up as Smurfs.

Only two? Pah!

Driving down a country road near york saw two horses at the side of the road trip as literally about to pull over and call 999 when I realised they were tied up guessing someone was using them to cut the grass at the side of the road!

A very chic French lady carrying a Louis Vuitton bag with a small dog in it sat next to a pal of mine on the Paris Metro. She (the chic lady, not my friend) spread a scarf carefully over her lap, placed the dog onto the scarf and proceeded to masturbate it to ejaculation. Then the scarf was used to wipe up the excess jizz, folded back up neatly and placed back in the bag along with the dog. The lady's expression throughout suggested that this was an entirely commonplace pastime for Metro passengers. My friend was like

WTF did I Just read, FetchezLaVache?!

Makes us laugh when we see those stories in the paper or on tv about the worlds biggest Great Danes and one article was going on and on about how they'd got theirs to a whopping 8 years old

We are the same. Most of them are very poorly proportioned - I suspect that they've been castrated far too early, (probably at six months, like many small dogs, but with a giant breed like a dane to doesn't give them a chance to mature) and have grown very lanky and scrawny as a result.

That's very possibly how they don't live so long either.

As a kid on holiday sat on our balcony which overlooked a field with a donkey in it. Witnessed a couple of local lads enter the field and start to hit the poor donkey with a bucket. Next thing we know another tourist (a German girl) had run into the field snatched the bucket off them and was proceeding to hit the lads with it. The lads were desperately trying to get away. Despite the fact I don’t know any German I could tell she was asking them how they liked it. Very comical.

Where exactly in Germany is this lake?

Asking for a friend, Gilbert?

I hope this thread makes it to Classics, @MNHQ.

It's brilliant!

The chic French lady with the dog has absolutely won the thread for me....... I'm .......

Ew ew ew ew ewwwwwwww at the French dog. 🤮

Omg, I was eating a toasted sandwich when I read the dog one 🤢
Utterly revolting!

We saw someone turn off on to a junction on a motorway once (the kind where two motorways meet so you pick the left or right lane). We were going left, he was going right. And then he full on stopped right there.

A car stopped at a set of traffic lights. Facing in the wrong direction (and the other side of a bend in the road).

There's a guy in my town that rides a penny farthing. I double took the first time I saw him.

I posted about this on a thread on the Skiing page.

A snowboarding unicorn.
A mother skiing fast with her child (around 1) in a sling on her back.

In the main square in Krakow. DH and I were say at one of the tables outside a cafe when we spotted a couple of blokes loitering around. Both very shabby looking. All of a sudden one of them pulls down his trousers and proceeds to take a shit right there in the middle of the square. The police moved them on a few minutes later. It's our stand out memory of our Krakow trip.

@Zaphodsotherhead

I think I was responsible for some poor lady's WTF moment.

I had a bat hanging down the inside of my shirt collar (long story, don't ask). I went into a deli and asked for two slices of ham and, whilst the woman was service me, the bat wandered his way out from my collar across the open neck of my shirt, stretched his wings, then tucked himself back down inside the other side of my collar.

The lady serving me's eyes went very wide, but she didn't say anything and so neither did I. I just took my ham, paid and left. I can only imagine the conversation she had with her co-workers after I'd gone.

I'd like to hear the story if that would be ok?

[quote Zaphodsotherhead]@GabsAlot

My cat had killed a bat, which had a baby (still naked) hanging on to her. I took the baby, got advice, and raised it (on goats milk on a paintbrush, fed every four hours). I had to get a special Bat Handling licence in order to keep him! Once he had his fur, he used to hang up against my skin inside my clothes to keep warm.

He went to a bat sactuary in the end because obviously he never learned to hunt. He was adorable.[/quote]
Oh I've just seen this 🤦🏻‍♀️