To ask your most WTF moments

[latheritup]

We went to the zoo recently and was walking down to the tiger enclosure. We saw a man had jumped over the fence into the greenery to retrieve his glasses that 'fell off' and subsequently the tigers all came to the front of their enclosure.

I can't think why he wouldn't ask a zookeeper to safely get them or was he just trying to get the tigers closer for a better pic?! Either way my face was

I've attached a wonderful diagram. Very proud of it

Took ds and a friend with her 2 ds to Blackpool to see the illuminations.
Boys must have been about 4 and 6.
Badly controlled traffic queue, so we had been in the car for about 5 hours.
Driving down the prom bit where the lights are at about 11 at night.
Group of young lads come out of the pub after drinking several gallons of whatever.
Cold air hits them and they look for a quiet area of the carpark to "make puddles" as ds said.
Traffic is still crawling, so we were treated to the sight of 4 drunk lads pissing on to the side of the road, right next to our car.

Oh I almost forgot! Christmas dinner nights at our local restaurant in December.

There was a lady who must have been late 60's, Early 70's at least. Very overweight with greasy unkempt long, straggly grey hair. Whatever. The bit that struck us was that she was wearing an extremely tight, bright red half shoulder, COMPLETELY SEE THROUGH fishnet dress. The holes were huge. The whole dress showed everything she had and came complete with extra sexiness in the form of a split up the leg to her very visible black knickers. You could also see her boobs hanging down in her dirty white cotton in matching bra.

She was there with her seemingly very normal family and no one seemed to want to let Gran know she had picked up an outfit from what was probably a sex shop rather than a dress shop.

It would have been too much for even a model to get away with on a nice dinner evening!

I was standing alone at a v=bus stop early one Sunday morning. A man climbed out of a ground floor window, wearing nothing but a tartan bonnet with fake ginger hair and a ladle tied to his waist with string, swinging in front of his very naked penis. He danced round in a circle waving his arms about then climbed back in the window. I checked all the other windows for his friends, either laughing or filming it. There was not a single soul anywhere. I still have no idea what it was all about!

A picture of the dancing naked ladle man

I was standing at my kitchen window a few years ago, staring out across our field (we live in the middle of nowhere, west of Ireland), when suddenly a herd of cows stampeded past, closely followed by the neighbour from down the road - a very hairy farmer-type, waving a stick and swearing his head off. Seems he'd been moving the cows from one field to another down our little lane, when they took it into their heads to freak out about something and charged in through our gate. They went straight across our field, took the fence with them, and I was treated to the sight of the neighbour, and a couple of other men with dogs, trying to get them back on course. They (all 30 odd of them) were about 3 feet away from the window when I first saw them - very much a WTF moment. Cows are very big, close up (Father Ted reference).

I used to have a pet Border Leicester lamb who I walked on a harness and lead. He was a sodding suicidal idiot who ate any stones he could find when you put him out in a paddock so he'd to go on a lead for exercise instead. Thankfully we had a farm so it was probably only the postie and vet who had WTF moments seeing us.

Lambs and sheep make fantastic pets. Like Woolly dogs. Stupid, idiotic woolly dogs.

[quote HearingMyOwnVoice]@EarringsandLipstick piss off[/quote]
@EarringsandLipstick haha I'm so sorry!

I saw a man walking on all fours but not the way you picture. He was stomach up. He was heading to the local chemist and I think he was on something :(

@Harls1969

There have been many over the years. However, OP your post reminded me of being in the monkey area at London Zoo. A bloke climbed on the wooden outer fence to get a better photo of the monkeys. As he was leaning over, one of the monkeys (with lightning speed) reached through the bars and grabbed the phone out of his hand. Luckily as he tried to pull the phone through the bars it dropped to the ground. By this time all of the monkeys were very excited and really wanted the phone, they kept pulling at it while the bloke tried to reach it. They got the case off it and ran off to inspect it so the bloke climbed over the outer fence. This caused the monkeys to become very aggressive and try to grab him. He quickly climbed back and eventually retrieved his phone by dragging it closer with a stick. One more. When DS was 4 we went to Cyprus. It was really hot so we decided to use the indoor pool for a swim to keep out of the sun for a bit. DS said he needed a wee, so DH told him to do it in the pool. Couple of minutes later, there's DS - standing on the side of the pool merrily pissing into it! Thank god we chose the indoor pool because we were the only ones there!

That last bit about peeing in the pool? My son in a packed pool in Spain 🙈

Ahhh... My memory has been jogged by tales of people chasing animals..

Locally, some people here can graze sheep or cattle on the common, and for years there were two brothers, who had a flock they grazed daily..

When they needed them back for any reason, they would round them up, and of course they had a standard issue black n white collie dog to help them with that...

But instead of the dog running around whilst they whistled... they would bounce around the common in an old post office van, dog standing on the drivers knee, front half hanging out the window, barking at the sheep...

It seemed to work but... mm.

@SquatBetty I saw the man in Llandudno I with a toy monkey in a pushchair more than 7 years ago! He's obviously still going strong

@Bearseatbeets

I once hugged a work colleague I hadn’t seen for a while and she started unhooking my bra. When I said ‘wtf are you doing?,’ she seems utterly baffled and said ‘ive got no idea’

im still wtf at this

then what happened

@DoctorYang

A picture of the dancing naked ladle man

😂😂😂😂

Brilliant picture!!

@diggadoo

Diagram of what I saw recently with one of the workmen that was here. Was a definite WTF moment. I was asked by him to go and check something!! How did he not know??

How do you draw that! What app do you use?

We could do animated threads. Imagine what parking threads could look like.

Great thread, the mum in the old people's home and the poster being run over by the wheelchair have made my day.

@Harls1969
Your husband told your child to piss in a public pool? Is this standard behaviour?! I don’t like pools anyway but that’s revolting.

As we arrived at the lake, four young men pulled up to the shore in a boat, got out, greeted us politely and walked past us into the woods. They were all tall, muscular, tanned and of course stark naked.

Where exactly in Germany is this lake?

Mine was in Uruguay, where they drink mate out of these cups with a sort of straw in them.

A guy was on a moped, with a thermos flask under his arm and the mate in his hand. He twisted his body so the water tipped from the flask into the cup, then drank it though the straw, while driving at a fair clip along a motorway.

I took sixth formers on an expedition to Mongolia. After three weeks hiking, horse riding and wild camping we had a few days hanging out at a yet camp place. I hadn't had a drink at all so bought some local drink and placed it at my side, occasionally lifting it up to top up my cup. There was a strange tugging when I lifted it which I out down to effects of alcohol after non drinking for weeks. Then a hand literally pulling it from mine.
Looked under the table to see a very elderly pissed woman hiding hidden under the table and had been siphoning my drink. "Vodka doi" she said before bolting out from under the table, onto a horse, sans saddle, to gallop off into the night.

Once was walking along in London and saw some guy get hit by a car. The car properly hit him, he got knocked back onto the pavement and the only thing that really happened was his shoe went flying about 10 metres down the road and otherwise he was completely unharmed

Loving reading these!

My WTF moment was turning up at the cemetery for my beloved Aunt’s funeral, to find out that they had mistakenly dug up the wrong plot (she was being buried with her parents). The undertaker only asked us if we wanted to bury her that day in the wrong plot, or rearrange for another day! And to make it worse, some of her siblings were on the fence, mainly due to the inconvenience of arranging another burial on another day.

I always wonder about the poor family who could have turned up to visit their own family plot, to discover in horror that it had been dug up.

On a fantastic trip to New York, sat in the outside area of a restaurant & the man at the table next to us reached into a hold-all he had on floor and pulled out a piglet.
It had a collar on so I think it was his pet!

I was walking near a performing arts college once and two men walked past dressed and made up as Smurfs.

@Notverygrownup

Zaphod - that is sooooo cool! I want a bat to hang from my collar!!

The Warhorse walking stick incident reminds me of a trip to the Royal Shakespeare Theatre, ages ago before risk assessments had been invented watching a sword fight on stage, which resulted in one fighter catching the other's sword at such an angle that it flew from his hand, point first, into the stalls. It bedded itself in between two chairs, and stayed there, slowly bobbing up and down, whilst the actors rushed to the edge of the stage, apologising furiously and checking to see if anyone had been impaled! Fortunately they hadn't but the person on either side of the stall were looking very pleased to still be alive!

I had a friend who was a 6th form drama teacher and she liked to take her students to see lots of different, alternative shows. Sometimes she'd have extra tickets so we'd go along.

The last one I saw was under the arches of a major London train station. It was one of those ones where you move from move to room watching different scenes, but it was "art" so there was no sequence and you went where you wanted.

It was dark, damp, there were literal streams of water running along the uneven concrete. ("Health and safety nightmare" was mentioned) We got to the "end scene" and there weren't enough seats for all of the audience. So I was sat on the damp floor with the students.

I think it was the point where I was splattered with fake blood, that I realised I was never going on one of those school trips again!