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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how you manage with one bathroom

259 replies

Intrepidintrovert · 02/09/2020 21:43

We have one bathroom in our house and it's getting pretty unbearable. I don't really know what to do! Are there ANY 'workarounds' that you've come up with? We categorically can't move for very specific reasons that are too outing to share but are 100% solid stone.

Every morning when I wake up I need a wee straight away, and inevitably my husband is in the bath. We have no shower. No way of installing a shower as it's a very old, pokey house and the ceiling is very low and sloping over the bath and there's no other room. I end up in discomfort (and unable to do anything to start my day as I need it too urgently to move about). Occasionally I go in and wee but hate invading my husband's privacy and since the bathroom is tiny, it's pretty weird to just sit next to him weeing. Even if you told me to get over myself (I know plenty of people don't mind weeing or pooing in front of their spouse), we have two children who are approaching teenagehood and whom definitely won't want to wee or poo in front of mum or dad while mum or dad is naked in the bath, or vice versa. Obviously right now it's not a problem when the kids are bathing or on the loo as they barely even shut the door but that will change.

To add to the fun I have IBS, which doesn't flare often but when it does I need to go urgently, and someone being in there can be quite distressing. We can't have visitors despite having a spare room as we can't manage any more people using the bathroom. It's a very old house, rented and no way they will put in another bathroom - we have tried to persuade them! There's also no way of dividing up the room and separating the loo from the bath as it's tiny and the bath is against the back wall, door would then be off my son's bedroom. The kids and I bath in the evening to space out the usage, but husband is a big sweaty fella (sorry!) so needs to bath in the morning before work.

Just typing this out has made me realise how shit it is, but other people must live like this too... don't they?

OP posts:
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Rockbird · 03/09/2020 02:40

Amazing. We so nearly made it to the end of the thread without someone giving unsolicited health advice, more commonly known as Have a Dig at the Fat Person.

Alas I have no solution OP. We share one bathroom between four of us and it drives me crazy every day.

PerveenMistry · 03/09/2020 02:42

@Intrepidintrovert

Wake up before your husband so you can go to the loo first?

I do sometimes get up early and then go back to bed. But I work late and he works early so it cuts into my sleep time if I do this.

Re him bathing every morning, I'm not trying to be horrid to him as I love him to bits but he's a very, very large man and would be too sweaty in the morning to not bathe or to use wetwipes. The problem with the tap attachment thingy is that because of the sloping ceiling you can't stand up in the bath so it's a bit tricky. I could sit in the bath (which isn't a fullsize bath by the way - poor husband) and do it but husband is pretty wedged in there once he's in and I don't think could manage.

It's a really bloody unsuitable house.

But yes, I grew up with one bathroom too. I can't remember how we managed. Lots of crossing our legs I think.

I'm curious as to why you chose a house with this set-up.
oceanbreezy · 03/09/2020 02:50

Outside toilet?

Inkpaperstars · 03/09/2020 02:56

I agree about your DH trying an arrangement somewhere in between a sink wash and a bath. Eg. Sit on bath stool and use either large jug and/or shower attachment to wash.

Also the ring shower curtain or partial shower curtain could help.

Commode chair for emergencies could be useful too, you can get subtle ones. If it's just a wee you need urgently in the mornings, you could just wee in a dedicated glass or container and pour it down the loo. Not great, but better than suffering.

I sympathise, one of our previous rental homes had a horrid mouldy shower room which did have a shower over the bath, but it ran intermittently scalding or freezing due to boiler issues and you couldn't really stand under the shower bit (which was fixed) due to odd shape bath, so you had to stand at the side of the shower flow and fill a jug to use. The loo didn't flush properly either. Landlord was a total arse.

lakesidefall · 03/09/2020 03:14

There are many really lovely china chamber pots.
They haven't kept their value compared to most antique china articles due to their function!

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/09/2020 03:15

My sister had a chamber pot as, before they renovated, their last house was very large but only had a downstairs bathroom. So she would make the trip for a solid, but liquids went in the pot.

80sMum · 03/09/2020 03:45

If I were you, OP, I would pop into Wilko and get myself a bucket, which would be kept in the bedroom as an emergency alternative for the loo when the need arose!

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 03/09/2020 03:51

Honestly, I would move. I know I sound spoilt but it's a dash for DH and I to get the two children up & to the CM & us to work, we need a downstairs/separate toilet with sink plus family bathroom, as a minimum.

Rebelwithallthecause · 03/09/2020 03:57

Most people I know only have one bathroom

Most of those are families of 3/4/5

I was bathing last night when DS needed the loo (he’s only a toddler) so he came in and used it.

We have guests to stay occasionally and it’s never been a problem

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 03/09/2020 07:30

I know lots of people with one bathroom but in every case bar one, they have a separate toilet with sink. The exception is a couple living in a one bedroom flat which naturally is perfectly manageable as theres only the two of them & no space for guests to stay over anyway.

Snog · 03/09/2020 07:37

Can DH go to the gym first thing and shower there then go on to work?

NoSquirrels · 03/09/2020 07:38

I was going to suggest you gave DH a fixed time to be in and out - but I see you’ve come to this conclusion already. I think it’s the morning uncertainty that bugs you, and if you knew he’d be out by 7.15, or whatever, then it would be easier for you.

Your LL sounds shit, tbh. I’d be most cross at that!

Milssofadoesntreallyfit · 03/09/2020 07:38

45yrs of managing with one bathroom in a minimum household of 4, often with downstairs bathroom to.
Yes it can be a pain but unbearable, no. If I cant manage with this set up after this long then I think there's something wrong.

OP you just need to get organised, if people are getting up and needing a wee and he's in the bath, there are only two real options (aside from peeing yourself!):

  • just go in and pee, or
  • he has his bath on an evening when it might be a bit easier on everyone.
The bath lovers in my family always do so on an evening, nit really given it much though but its probably been because to many people want the bathroom at the same time on a morning that it was always just a bit impractical to bathe on a morning.
daisypond · 03/09/2020 07:40

Most people I know only have one bathroom -with the toilet in the bathroom. It’s normal. There’s five of us in my family- one bathroom with loo. A friend has seven - still one bathroom. I hardly know anyone with a toilet separate from the bathroom.

AriettyHomily · 03/09/2020 07:48

I think you're making this a bigger deal than it is tbh op. Get a hose extension for the taps, he can have a quick shower in the morning, sitting if there's no room to stand up.

You really need to get over being uptight about seeing in front of him.

We have one bathroom not idea but we've never resorted to any guests having to wear outside and we have family stay a lot.

I also have IBS. I tend to get priority...

NotMeNoNo · 03/09/2020 07:49

Found some links
Better tap fitting : but fit to ceiling or side wall unless you can get an even longer hose.
here

Just Google for stick on shower curtain clips

screen

ToastyCrumpet · 03/09/2020 07:57

I bath in the mornings, I’m in and out in ten minutes. What is taking him so long?

NotMeNoNo · 03/09/2020 07:57

Hang on cheaper

Aridane · 03/09/2020 08:03

Love the posters saying ‘just move’ when OP states very clearly in first post that she can’t!

Aridane · 03/09/2020 08:05

I think, possibly the OP might not have a shower. I can't be sure 😉

Ah - but don’t you know - @hammeringinmyhead says there is NOW. a shower

Sorry, @hammering - couldn’t resist Wink

SummerSummerSummertime · 03/09/2020 08:08

Just pee while he is in the bath.
This is really not a problem 🤷🏻‍♀️

mizu · 03/09/2020 08:19

4 of us here and one bathroom. No probs really but as others have said here, if someone is in the shower and I really need the loo, I will go. Helpful that our bathroom door doesn't currently lock Grin

Aridane · 03/09/2020 08:20

Just pee while he is in the bath.
This is really not a problem 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes - you are making a non problem into a problem

Or just ask DH to tell you before he goes for his wash so you can go in first for your morning crap / whatever

CulturallyAppropriatedName · 03/09/2020 08:23

Can you not get an electric shower installed on the high end of the bath wall? With a screen (not curtain). It would be relatively inexpensive to pay for yourselves although you would need landlord's permission.

Other than that I would try to install a saniflo loo somewhere. We have our whole second bathroom on saniflo and whilst you have to be careful what gets flushed, it's fine.

CrotchetyQuaver · 03/09/2020 08:37

before anyone has a bath/shower the call goes out first to see if anyone needs the loo. if necessary in the need of an urgent poo then it will have to be vacated.

we haven't actually done it, but is there anywhere you could put a camping toilet for emergencies? we have a few sheds in the garden where one could go, but not everyone will of course.