To think that people shouldn’t always just quit their jobs if unhappy?

[Dyrne]

I keep seeing threads about people unhappy with their jobs, or that their DH’s are unhappy.

Without fail posters will fall over themselves to advise the OP to quit immediately, or to harangue the OP for not allowing their DHs to quit, usually saying something along the lines of how mental health needs to come first.

Is it just me who couldn’t just up and quit their job? I’ve been in some seriously shitty jobs, crying at work, in a spiral; but as important as my mental health is, I also know that struggling to pay bills would also have a serious impact on my mental health!

Every time I’ve been unhappy, I’ve carried on until I made a plan to move on, got a new job, then handed in my notice.

There just never seems to be an appreciation that these things need discussion and planning - even if it’s a SAHM with a high earning DH that wants to quit to start a lentil-weaving business; surely it requires some discussion about maintaining lifestyle (or what they need to stop doing), paying bills, changing house, possibly allowing enough time for the SAHM to retrain to get back on the career ladder etc. You can’t just go from a high earning lifestyle to a low earning one without a lot of discussion and planning.

I hate my job but can't quit because I can't afford to.

Much better for most to look for employment whilst in a job rather than have the pressure of quitting and then finding another job. Sometimes, if the job is severely impacting you though, the best thing to do is quit.

I've known a couple of people who quit their jobs with nothing else to move onto, and it heralded a time of depression for them, which they never fully resolved. Holding onto a job is a part of a lot of people's identity and gives structure to their lives. Not being able to hold down a job isn't a great sign in a lot of people tbh.

Entirely different if you have thought it through and have a plan in place to work from eg re-training or a different job.

I don't think people mean just walk out!

They mean "don't stay in a job you hate, go and look around and start applying for something else".

We dont like our job. But it gives the money to enjoy our free time.

Not all posters suggest quitting - I often pipe up suggesting not to, for example!

Without something lined up, at least.

Depends on the situation.

I wouldn't recommend it, but I was left with little option and it was the best thing I did.

There's a world of difference between being "unhappy" and a job which makes you ill.

I disagree me personally when I've been unhappy I've looked for something then left but if it comes to a point when your in tears then I'd leave quickly.
I don't think any job is worth making you ill and I think being tears is the limit .
Some people do love to complain about their job but never do anything about it because they may have tried before and not got anywhere or just love to complain.
It's not the same as work making you feel ill being in tears etc then I quit immediately.
I don't know why some people put up , your not happy it's up to you to change it .

@FallingIguanas

There's a world of difference between being "unhappy" and a job which makes you ill.

Exactly.

Yes, you can be unhappy in a job, Or, more seriously, it can make you ill and stressed, unable to sleep, depressed etc. ideal is always to get another job first, but if the work is making you that miserable, consider just leaving.

In the same way people are quick to say LTB from the comfort of functional long-term relationships.

It depends, i am normally of the 'its easier to get a job if ypu are in a job camp' but I did once leave a horrendous job without another one, but I had spoken with a local temping agency who could get me similar work for more money the next day if I needed it so t wasnt like I didnt have a contingency plan at all.

I think sometimes people (myself included in the above senario) would be better off recognising sooner that something isn't working so it doesnt get to breaking point.

On the other hand if its just a boring job but you need the money and have no contingency then yes just leaving is stupid.

Even where work problems are a factor in MH issues, it’s not a given that resigning will benefit people. There’re other options, eg seeking mH support/treatment, reducing working hours (if working lots of overtime, for example), seeking to improve the situation, sick leave.

Resigning with nothing to go to, or for a much lower paid job, comes with big risks, financially/ economically and career wise. Financial problems, unemployment etc are likely to affect MH negatively.

I think the flip side can be that if a job is really dragging down your mental health it can be hard to look for another job in that state.

I have no idea what threads you have been reading

YABU, life is too short to work to buy stuff. As long as essential bills can be paid, I'd advise anyone unhappy to quit.
Society atm expects us all to be drones, go out to work, leave our kids, come home to more work.
Sod that, life is for living and free time is more important than money.
You don't have to do what others do if you don't want to, we are all individuals not sheep.

It totally depends on your situation. If quitting your job means that you literally won’t be able to pay essential bills, especially if you have a family, I think you need to have a plan in place before quitting. If you’re single and can cut right back or move in with family, for example, you can take more risks.

I’m the child of someone who quit and it was v. difficult- luckily my Mum was able to hold things together, including keeping a roof over our heads. if she hadn’t had her own savings, we would’ve been on the street.

My Mum did work, btw, but we needed both wages.

Difference between a job that makes you unhappy and a job that makes you ill.

Also difference between a job that makes you unhappy but where you are still doing the job and a job which you are doing badly and/or where your state of mind is affecting other people (customers/pupils/patients) adversely.

If this is a taat, as I suspect, then the worker referred to was already under scrutiny for some kind of under-performance, not specified what. So depending on the problem, asking for reduced hours might or might not be helpful, asking for support definitely, just gritting his teeth and carrying on as before probably not an option.

I've seen people thinking just like you, that's it's all about resilience and sticking it up. Pepe who considered very strong people who faced adversity with strength who suddenly disappeared through a total mental breakdown. People suffering from heart attacks.

I think there's stress and stress. Some people will go off for stress and anxiety when only experiencing some normal mental anguish whilst others will plough on until the mental can't cope any longer and their physical health beings them down.

So it really depends on the person, the job, the situation.

@dontdisturbmenow. I don’t think the OP was suggesting people try to be resilient and end up having a breakdown- she’s saying come up with an exit plan so you don’t end up in financial dire straits, which is incredibly stressful.
Believe me, having experienced it growing up, you don’t want to quit with no plan.

I've been very unhappy with work 2 or 3 times. Each time, I managed to carry on until I got a new job. If you've no commitments it's easy to quit, but when you have a family, bills, mortgage, etc., it has to be really, really bad to just quit. Not to mention the risk of a bad reference for quitting without notice and the fact it's easier to get a new job if you already have one rather than if you're "in between" jobs.

I quit a job about 25 years ago with none to go to. I would not advise it to anyone if at all possible. The comments about the impact on mental health ring true.