Backstory: Mum is a narcissist. Only thinks of herself and always has done. As teens DSis and I went hungry a lot as mum didn't buy in dinner if she wasn't hungry herself or had spent all her money on her hobby (pets). We didn't get bought any new (or suitable second hand) clothes and would have to wear grown adults hand me downs making us a laughing stock, lonely and unpopular with our peers and made non-school uniform days a living nightmare.
Now mums family is large and were always close. Over the years it's become clear that mum has been keeping me separated from them. I don't know why. I asked to go with her when she was heading back to our old home town (200miles away) for her mum's 80th to be told "no, nothing is happening. I'm just going to pop in for 5 minutes and that's it."
On FB it transpires there was a whole family party. All 4 aunts and 4 uncles, 10 cousins and their partners and all the cousins kids etc were there. Only one family member missing was me. They had food, entertainment and even a professional photographer for a huge family portrait. Mum claimed it was nothing and they just so happened to all go visit gran at the same time.
NYE party always thrown at my old house (huge guesthouse here in Scotland) that my aunt took over when I moved and when I asked if the family NYE bash was still going ahead mum told me, "No, Aunt isn't doing it this year and [stepdad] and I are having a quiet night in and early bed."
I drove past (it's nearby) and there was a party in full swing with mum's car parked up in a car park full of familiar cars. Later found out that all family from as far as Birmingham had come up as usual for the Hogmanay bash.
And tonight I just phoned mum and she was cagey. I managed to get her to admit that the voices I could hear were family members from down south that I never get to see and she was in fact, in my village, just 2 minutes walk away from my house having a family meal. Once again a family event was happening and I was specifically not told.
I don't get drunk, I pay my own way (and I tip) I'm not political (well I am but that's reserved for forums like here), I'm not racist. I don't talk too much, I don't embarrass myself or anyone else and my husband is well loved. Even my kids are a fucking dream.
And I'll just say, family members do ask where I am and are given the impression that I am busy or didn't want to go. They don't want to cause a ruckus by pulling mum up on it.
I know no one is owed an invite but I have a right to be angry here don't I?
What the hell is going on with my mum? We talk almost every day (we're 6 miles apart living 200 miles from our hometown so are our only family up here)
Why am I being given the role of black sheep?