Message from a friend

[Monsterjam]

So friend A received the following message from friend B today. Friend A thinks friend B is being U and wants to cut all contact. We are a very close group (or so I thought) and a falling out would be awful.

I was just wondering about opinions on whether the text message is U. Trying to think of ways to help A repair damage to B and B to A.
“After 6 yrs of pushing your children on me. Sending endless messages and unsolicited shopping lists for birthday presents, you cannot send a card to my child? I am so bored of having to listen to how amazing your children are with no acknowledgment from you that others (me) also think their children are amazing! I’m fucking done! “

@AfterSchoolWorry no I don’t expect my friends to do anything they don’t want to do .

Three's a crowd!

See them both individually and REFUSE to get drawn into any bitching or tale telling about the other one. Just say "you're both my friends. I don't want to get involved or give an opinion" on repeat.

Thanks all, I will keep my head down

It's about their kids, neither will back down, and you will get caught in the middle anyway.

Although you could try and be friends with both, I do think it's going to be near impossible, you should probably pick who's side you're on and stick with them tbh.

Sounds like B has had enough of A with his/her grabbyness.

If you're not A or B then walk away.
If you're A then you've been grabby.
If you're B then cut your losses.

If A has really behaved like that then they are clearly the unreasonable one and I'm not surprised B is done. It sounds like it has been a long time coming so the relationship is probably irredeemable.

If you want to stay friends with both, individually, then don't interfere in their problems. The friendship as a trio is over.

So I have been the root of one of these A B C situations and I can assure you C will not change the mind of A or B.
Stay neutral and don't get involved.

Crikey. You want to reconcile them? I think that ship has sailed, to be honest.

I'd advise staying out of it, certainly unless you're specifically asked. Or you might end up as the scapegoat for both of them.

Friend A is a grabby dick and you should be backing B imo

Stay out of it completely. Do not get involved in any discussion about the situation.

Stay out of it! It's between A&B. Maybe a wake up call for A but, whatever, not your row.

I feel sad that my friends are hurting and our friendship group may dissolve

The friendship group has gone up like a boiling geyser...way past 'may dissolve'!

Is there truth in B's accusations? Did you not see this brewing?

Stay clear - stay friends with both but expect at least one of them to get miffed about this.

In which case (miffed) say 'look, I have always cared about you both. I wold hate our friendship to be affected and I am capable of seeing you both as individuals and not taking sides. And I won't be persuaded into taking sides either so if you don't feel comfortable, that's entirely up to you'

@NameChange84

Stay out of it as much as humanly possible

although A sounds like an utter twat

My thoughts exactly

Is it true that a card wasn't sent? If so why not?

@DidoAtTheLido yes probably truth in the accusations in that A used to bombard me with messages about her kids and never asked about mine either.
No idea why a card was not sent... of note A’s child attended B child’s birthday celebration in the week.
I think I will keep my head down and have your perfectly worded message waiting should I need it .

Sounds like friend A is trying to get you involved, telling you about the message and chatting shit about wanting to cut all contact with B.

Yeah that ship has sailed already A, it sounds like B has reached the end of her rope and if anyone deserves your support it's her, not A.

B is quite right, I think. A sounds horrific.

DD2 says 'Mum, I'm like Switzerland.....' whenever there is a falling out in her friendship group. The mums all say 'What does DD2 think?' to their daughters, and they say 'DD2 doesn't get involved, Mum...'

I'd suggest you follow her example

Isn't the other side of this elsewhere on MN? Mum pissed off that friend didn't send child a card?

@FOKKYFC Similar story but the friend that didn’t send the card is battling infertility so she doesn’t have children. The OP seems like a bit of an A though - entitled and can’t see past herself and her own child!

Ah. Apologies. I now remember the IVF part. Thank you. @EleanorOalike

you sound like one of those people that loves the drama of shit like this and can’t wait to get involved

I wouldn’t get involved or take sides OP and I think you need to accept that if you want to be friends with both you will need to socialise with them separately.