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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Message from a friend

82 replies

Monsterjam · 31/08/2020 21:26

So friend A received the following message from friend B today. Friend A thinks friend B is being U and wants to cut all contact. We are a very close group (or so I thought) and a falling out would be awful.

I was just wondering about opinions on whether the text message is U. Trying to think of ways to help A repair damage to B and B to A.
“After 6 yrs of pushing your children on me. Sending endless messages and unsolicited shopping lists for birthday presents, you cannot send a card to my child? I am so bored of having to listen to how amazing your children are with no acknowledgment from you that others (me) also think their children are amazing! I’m fucking done! “

OP posts:
ShellsAndSunrises · 31/08/2020 21:27

Honestly this sounds like something to leave well alone.

Florencex · 31/08/2020 21:30

That looks like the end to me. I doubt there is anything you can do.

Palavah · 31/08/2020 21:31

Why are you getting involved?

EatDessertFirst · 31/08/2020 21:32

I would stay out of it. Its up to A and B to sort or not.

amijustparanoidorjuststoned · 31/08/2020 21:32

...are you friend A or friend B?

IKEA888 · 31/08/2020 21:32

100% stay out of it all.

peachypetite · 31/08/2020 21:33

Why are you getting involved?

Original poster
Monsterjam · 31/08/2020 21:33

@Palavah I’m not necessarily... wondering if it’s salvageable for the selfish reason that as a threesome we have had a lot of good times and I feel sad that my friends are hurting and our friendship group may dissolve

OP posts:
DocusDiplo · 31/08/2020 21:33

Eek!

Ilovesausages · 31/08/2020 21:33

Sorry OP but there has already been a big falling out.

AfterSchoolWorry · 31/08/2020 21:34

If it's so true then A is the unreasonable one and B has every right to tell her a few home truths.

I don't think you should be trying to referee.

Feelingpoorlysick · 31/08/2020 21:34

Well, why didn't friend A send a card? If it's as one sided as B makes out then I'm not surprised she's fed up.
If I were you I would stay out of it.

cheeseislife8 · 31/08/2020 21:35

Unless you're A or B... stay the hell out of it

latticechaos · 31/08/2020 21:35

Oh I agree don't get involved at all, this sounds a pretty intense disagreement and you will just get embroiled.

Back away quietly!

Ilovesausages · 31/08/2020 21:35

It sounds like there is a lot of history there and a lot of hurt for friend B.

Were you totally unaware of this brewing?

JulesCobb · 31/08/2020 21:35

Sounds like friend A is selfish and friend b has had enough now it has affected her child. Thats a line crossed.

What are your thoughts?

Cheeseandlobster · 31/08/2020 21:36

Friend B sounds well rid if this is how it has been. Friend A sounds utterly self absorbed. It all depends on how A and B have been with you though. If you like them both then stay out of it

AfterSchoolWorry · 31/08/2020 21:36

[quote Monsterjam]@Palavah I’m not necessarily... wondering if it’s salvageable for the selfish reason that as a threesome we have had a lot of good times and I feel sad that my friends are hurting and our friendship group may dissolve[/quote]
That's a bit selfish OP, as you admitted yourself.

Do you expect one of the friends to allow the other to treat her badly just so your social life doesn't change?

Consideredopinion · 31/08/2020 21:36

😳

Fatted · 31/08/2020 21:36

For all you've enjoyed your days out as a threesome, I really don't think B has enjoyed it as much.

Stay out of it.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 31/08/2020 21:37

Not salvageable. Best you can do is keep shtum and maintain your friendships with them separately.

NowWashYourHandsPlease · 31/08/2020 21:37

I think friend A is unreasonable saying she wants to cut contact because looks to me like friend B already decided that anyway. So friend A doesn't have the upper hand. Leave it, seems to have run its course

NameChange84 · 31/08/2020 21:38

Stay out of it as much as humanly possible

although A sounds like an utter twat

Lockdownseperation · 31/08/2020 21:38

Are you a, b or c? If your not a or b then don’t get involved. There is nothing you can do to help this situation.

honeygirlz · 31/08/2020 21:40

It doesn’t sound like a great friendship group does it? Sending gift lists and messages about presents to friends is cringey behaviour, I couldn’t be friends with someone so grabby.

Don’t get involved, if they make it up, they may turn on you if you had got involved.