When do you first remember being left home alone

[WomenHour]

I think it was around 9 , my mum had to go to work so she left me and my brother for a few hours.

I was 5. My parents had put us (me, my 3yo brother and my newborn brother) to bed and gone away. My baby brother woke up and started screaming. I did not know what to do. Thankfully I did not try to pick him up...

From the age of 8 I went back home with my 6yo brother at lunchtime and made us lunch.

I honestly can’t believe some of these are true. If SS had known, it would have been an issue of child neglect and possible removal of children. I worked in residential childcare in the eighties and really, leaving such young children and even babies alone was not acceptable. Absolute neglect and dereliction of parental duty .

Teenage possibly 13 or 14. Mum ran a guide company, sister being collected from dance classes.

If SS had known, it would have been an issue of child neglect and possible removal of children.

which ages do you find shocking/a case for SS?

I was 4!! My dad left me by myself and went into town to do some errands. I told my mum and she hit the roof! He didn't see the big deal as I just sat and watched TV.

From 9 I was on my own from the time school let out until my mother got home from work at about 9:30/10 pm. I got myself up and off to school in the mornings.

@BonfireStarter sorry it happened to you as well

The first time about 7/8 - I was ill, was the middle of winter and my sibling needed picking up from school. Mum didn't think going out was in my best interest and had to risk it hoping I was mature enough to be ok for half an hour. I just watched tv and had snacks. I wasn't concerned but mum was in a panic

But actually being left as normal..Must have been 13+. Never for more than a few hours.

Not sure really. Year 5 (so 9, as mine is a summer birthday) I was coming home alone from school and my mum and dad were at work. I have no idea where my younger brother was though! When I was year 6 I would pick him up from his school and bring him home but they must have had other arrangements for the year before.

I don’t remember but it was almost certainly when I started secondary school and was walking home while my mum was collecting by brother and sister from primary school.

My mum was a SAHM and would have arranged her day to do all shopping etc. while we were at school. Can’t think of any other instances where she would have been out and not have taken us.

I got my own key when we moved into a new house I was 9.5/ 10. Initially for emergencies but I felt proper grown up

I honestly don't remember the first time... It obviously wasn't a big deal.

However, I was left alone for 2 nights while I was sitting my GCSEs and the rest of my family attended a family wedding. I was 16 and honestly HATED it. I was nervous and on-edge the entire time.

I used to let myself in the house from primary school when I was about 7 or 8, and would have an hour or so to myself before anyone else got home, I used to love it!

Stayed overnight at home by myself from 13 (single parent who had lots of business trips), and used to babysit for a neighbour's toddler when I was 14. I'm early 30s now, don't think these ages would be socially acceptable now but seemed fine to me.

I walked to school with my five year old friend at five. Mum put me across the road to her house then we walked round to the crossing lady.

I had a key from age 7. Teacher knew as I left it in their desk after PE one weekend and they made a joke about us not being able to get in all weekend.

Head teacher dropped me home alone in his car aged 7.

I was 10. My dad use to play cricket every Saturday and afterwards the players families had a drink so I was allowed to go home for an hour or two. I loved it lol.

Not my parents fault but the nanny got caught leaving me at home alone when I was one. She was fired, obviously.

On purpose, about 11.

KatherineParr4 I honestly can’t believe some of these are true. That's a luxury you're choosing to have and I question if you know what real neglect is? Being left alone isn't great, but anyone whose endured real neglect will tell you how small beans that comparatively is.
I was four in the 60's and alone when the Ascot in our flat caught fire. I'd clearly been well trained as I knew gas could explode, and ran for a phone box and called the fire brigade. I was worried over hoses dragged in and people coming in, and very scared of how angry my mother (epic hoarder) would be and the firemen kept telling me what a good girl I'd been and how it would be ok because I'd saved everything by being swift. I also remember being picked up and shown the water and singed paper blended ok with the damp and mold and told she'd barely notice! (lying buggers!)
A couple of years later when self and a sibling were alone and we poked stuff into a gas fire and set the room alight, we knew now to go to a neighbor and only call the fire brigade in really extreme emergency as she'd be in trouble because of us, and we'd get 'taken away'.
The police also raided us twice, and no SS follow up from that.

It was when we got caught shoplifting that SS got involved. The possibility that our mother knew we were taking property was an issue. (she didn't)

We had to go and see a probation officer and a social worker about it, and I've no idea what guff my mother gave out, but nothing changed inc being alone, except we were now had to stay alone outside or in the cellar not inside!

Being left alone was the least of what was happening, but when I think back to what was many peoples normal in an era of poverty and slum living, a lot of neglect and abuse was through deprivation, desperation and not coping. A lot of poor kids were neglected, and "dereliction of parental duty" was pissing the money up in the pub and letting your kids starve, not leaving them alone to work to put food on the table.
Intervention was reserved for those intentionally abusing and neglecting and that was a place of shame for kids as well.
By the time you were working, some of the kids of my era would have become the parents.

7 - was a latchkey child!

I'm not saying leaving young children alone nowadays isn't neglect before I get piled on!

I was a latch-key kid from about 7 or so. I used to look after my 5-year-old sister.

I used to take her and myself to school too, on 2 buses!

At least half of us had a key and walked to and home from primary school, and most of us from junior school, though some still got walked in but not home.
Looking after and being responsible for your younger siblings was normal, and no one got paid for it, it was expected from an early age.

My mum worked as a childminder until I was 9 or 10, so never before that, I don't think

In any event, we lived on a massive Navy housing estate and there were always friends' mums offering to keep an eye on other mums' kids if needed

However, I went from never being left alone to being suddenly old enough to babysit for neighbours at the age of 10, which was a bit of a learning curve I was OK with it until I got an obscene phone call one night (aged 12) and would try and get out of it after that

I walked to school and back with my friend down the street from the age of 5 though (only one road to cross, with a lollipop lady) AND my dad would send me to the off licence over the road to buy his fags from about that age too!

I had several siblings so alone often seemed a bit of an unattainable dream.

Also depends on what you mean by alone: "alone for half an hour while mum went to the shops" or "have a key to let yourself in after school" or "properly alone-alone all day".

If the first, probably from around 6 (though no doubt I pleaded for it to be earlier). But then I also walked half a mile to school alone from the age of six.

If the second, I think, from age 8-9. By which age I was also playing out alone too.

The third probably from 11 or 12. By which age I was also allowed to take the boat out on my own, as my parents considered me a reliable judge of weather..

This was in the 60s/70s. Can still remember the bliss of trying the back door and finding it locked, meaning nobody else was at home. And I liked my family. I just enjoyed solitude. Still do.

My parents were neither poor nor neglectful, but they involved us in responsible tasks- cooking, DIY, fishing - from a very early age and gradually passed more of the decision-making to us so had plenty of opportunity to judge our good judgment.

I think 8 or 9 for short periods, an hour or so. 11 for longer periods as having a younger sibling meant there was usually a babysitter.