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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think going on holiday at the moment is selfish and unnecessary

649 replies

OverTheRainbow88 · 30/08/2020 07:59

I think it’s totally unnecessary and selfish for people to go abroad on holiday at the moment. I’m not talking about people that need to go abroad for other reasons, such as ,work or to see ill relatives etc. I think getting our children back to school trumps a holiday.
However, lots of family and friends are going away abroad for holidays, do others agree with me or am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
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minnieok · 30/08/2020 11:43

No, we were restricted for long enough. I don't have kids, I wfh so it doesn't affect schools. I'm personally not going abroad but has nothing to do with kids

minnieok · 30/08/2020 11:49

Ps my adult kids lives have been disrupted to the point that there career paths may be irrevocably altered with universities being pressured to keep closed sorry if I lack empathy for schools. My kids mental well-being is more important to me, they are heading abroad on Wednesday

Freeamigos · 30/08/2020 11:49

@NewModelArmyMayhem18

I think it was irresponsible of the government to give people the green light to go abroad and then pull the rug from under their feet by virtually zero lead-up announcements about having to quarantine upon their return.

Also think it might have been useful to advise families with DC of secondary school age to take their holiday (and return) two weeks ahead of the start of term.

Totally agree. They went from actively encouraging travel to imposing quarantines with little notice and barely any reasonable explanation...
Friendsoftheearth · 30/08/2020 11:50

I think it was irresponsible of the government to give people the green light to go abroad

A much stronger line will be needed by the government in the winter if the latest modelling from SAGE is anything to go by.

pinkpetal2 · 30/08/2020 11:51

No I'm fed up of hearing about coronavirus if anything this has shown us that life is too short. Stay 2m wash your hands and enjoy your life before something else happens.

Toptotoeunicolour · 30/08/2020 11:51

I think it's possible the government's green light and subsequent implementation of quarantine has as much to do with politics as it does with Covid.

Freeamigos · 30/08/2020 11:52

...In fact the stampedes they created to ‘beat’ quarantine probably caused spikes in cases.

Bollss · 30/08/2020 11:54

@Friendsoftheearth

I think it was irresponsible of the government to give people the green light to go abroad

A much stronger line will be needed by the government in the winter if the latest modelling from SAGE is anything to go by.

Anything like the wildly innacurate modeling they produced the first time or?
jessstan2 · 30/08/2020 11:55

@NewModelArmyMayhem18

I think it was irresponsible of the government to give people the green light to go abroad and then pull the rug from under their feet by virtually zero lead-up announcements about having to quarantine upon their return.

Also think it might have been useful to advise families with DC of secondary school age to take their holiday (and return) two weeks ahead of the start of term.

That's right, NewModel.
LakieLady · 30/08/2020 11:55

Having seen how people crammed themselves onto Brighton seafront during the hot weather, and what appeared to be a total lack of regard of social distancing in and outside bars, I'm not convinced that people travelling abroad and behaving responsibly present a greater risk, tbh.

jessstan2 · 30/08/2020 11:56

@minnieok

Ps my adult kids lives have been disrupted to the point that there career paths may be irrevocably altered with universities being pressured to keep closed sorry if I lack empathy for schools. My kids mental well-being is more important to me, they are heading abroad on Wednesday
Do you really need to go abroad for mental well being?
Friendsoftheearth · 30/08/2020 11:56

And I absolutely believe that schools need to get back and my concerns will never be shown to those children

I hope it goes well for you next week aragog, and it is understandable you will feel worried if you have been shielding or are vulnerable. I am sure the children (and parents) will appreciate you being back tremendously. My dd was initially in the vulnerable category and downgraded as they learnt more about the virus, and I am nervous too about the return, but the alternative of keeping schools closed and the further damage that will cause doesn't bear thinking about. I hope it goes well for you Flowers

AlrightTreacle · 30/08/2020 12:00

Depends on your style of holiday I guess, getting eurotunnel over the France, staying in your car on the way and keeping to social distancing? No problem.

Flying whilst wearing your mask just under you nose, ignoring social distancing whilst away? A problem.

Personally I'm not going away any time soon as I can't work from home so the quarantine would be a nightmare. But if I could wfh, I'd probably look at booking somewhere tbh, my personal risk is low and I stick to wearing masks when needed and social distancing with everyone other than my partner, so it's not like I'd be risking anyone's health other than the people who were also choosing to get on the plane with me.

Darkdecent · 30/08/2020 12:01

@NewModelArmyMayhem18

I think it was irresponsible of the government to give people the green light to go abroad and then pull the rug from under their feet by virtually zero lead-up announcements about having to quarantine upon their return.

Also think it might have been useful to advise families with DC of secondary school age to take their holiday (and return) two weeks ahead of the start of term.

Yept, I was given three hours notice that we would have to quarantine when I returned home, three bloody hours!
Toptotoeunicolour · 30/08/2020 12:07

Do you really need to go abroad for mental well being?

This. Why not just say you fancied a holiday abroad, it was legal, off you went, and you are happy to deal with quarantine and any illness you may bring back with you and infect others with? It just sounds like mental gymnastics to justify doing something that you were going to do anyway because you judged the rewards to be greater than the risks. At least the rewards to you personally were greater than the risks more generally to businesses, schools, of large numbers bringing C19 back with them? You might be right, time will tell. I personally wouldn't.

rainyinscotland · 30/08/2020 12:07

What about to countries that are lower risk than the UK? What's the problem with that?

Friendsoftheearth · 30/08/2020 12:11

aragog the issue just to be clear is air travel. It allows people and the virus to be spread all over the globe, to countries with very little medical infrastructure, and the local people just become covid fodder for the rich tourists I assume?!

I have an moral and ethical issues with tourists taking risks for everyone around them, locals that have no choice but to bear the brunt of your risk whether it is on a crowded plane or cleaning your lavatory in the hotel.

You know as well as I do that for every plane that is 'half empty' there will be another that is completely packed. No SD whatsoever. Such as most flights to and from Geneva, Paris and Marseille. You can't socially distance, everyone has to share a loo. The airports in smaller regions are packed in mid summer, and transit buses are like sardines. The idea of SD is laughable, and yet you will still get posts on here repeating it is safe! Pure delusion.

Flying in terms of risk is completely different to driving straight to a holiday cottage etc, and going to a restaurant sitting socially distanced, or outside. Going to the park etc. It is ridiculous to compare the two.

Any air travel is a major risk there is no two ways around it.

France is now in the grip of a serious second wave, are you really telling me that this hasn't been caused by the holiday season?
They are now facing a ruinous second national lockdown, and yet we are supposedly 'helping' their economy?!!!
Seriously you could not make it up. Of course it is jibberish. A second lockdown is a bloody disaster for them. Anyone travelling there fast tracked the second wave thats all.

And as for the MH excuses, If your mental health is so poor, then I very much a week anywhere is going to make the slightest difference. A visit to the GP would be better for you. You just come home to the same problems you had before, and some big credit card bills waiting for you on the doormat.

PourMeADrink · 30/08/2020 12:11

It's always the same.

The people that are happy to not do something don't want anyone else to do it either.

It's one of two things; either they can't see the attraction and don't understand why others do or because they are being a martyr they want others to be one as well as why should anyone else enjoy themselves when they are sacrificing things.

nicebreeze · 30/08/2020 12:14

I've just come back from a much needed holiday. Not a chance I'd have cancelled. We even relocated twice because of infection rates and plan to quarantine when we're back anyway. The place we stayed was familiar, quiet, and the people we chatted to there were so happy to have people spending money after an awful few months with no tourism business at all.

It's easy to sit in your ivory tower shaking your head and people going abroad but it's far more complicated than that. Many places in the UK are more risky to visit than places in Europe

Friendsoftheearth · 30/08/2020 12:15

The idea that a mask protects you from covid is also incorrect. If somehow you sit with a mask and gloves on the plane job done. No it doesn't work like that.
The virus can land on any part of you and be touched and transferred, it can enter your eyes and sit on your clothes, in your hair. A mask won't save you from covid on a plane, it is pure luck as to who is around you at the time that is all. Russian roulette.

nicebreeze · 30/08/2020 12:16

@icedaisy

Well, having watched recent local events play out I have to agree.

Lady goes to turkey and comes home and goes to work in supermarket. Then pops to pub and for a sandwich. Tests positive two days later and now we are up to 13 cases within a couple of days.

Facebook has turned into a war zone with her and her family being lynched for "starting,causing" a local outbreak. Her family are on screaming that she needed a holiday, was entitled to one.

She broke no rules and there was no quarantine but I'm sure she may be feeling rather uncomfortable right now.

This is a rural type community and everyone knows everyone so it is unlikely to have the same result if this happened in a city.

what about scorn for those other people in the pub for catching it from her and spreading it? If that poor woman hadn't caught it in Turkey she could have caught it in a pub or restaurant in the UK. Anyone playing Covid-Police in Facebook is a complete arse as far as I'm concerned. Some semblance of life has to go on
sansou · 30/08/2020 12:17

Any travel risks transmitting the virus. I doubt all those who are choosing not to travel by plane/ferry/euro tunnel are instead all joining throngs of crowds on UK beaches and descending on Devon/Cornwall.

I would take some countries’ COVID-19 stats with a big pinch of salt. e.g Turkey’s

Individual social responsibility is key. It’s hard - I’ve felt torn between the urge to have what may well be a last “normalish” holiday for awhile because it remains possible for now but my prudent side wins out. My own personal choice is basically my family’s long term physical health (at least) over the short term pleasures of our usual breaks abroad. I do feel envy for those who have managed it early enough (mid July) before cases started rising again all over Europe. At least, the thousands we would have spent instead can cushion us for a few more months if we lose our jobs in the coming months.

There are no winners. Less travel, less trade, less jobs means recession and poverty for all.

InDeoEstMeaFiducia · 30/08/2020 12:18

Do you really need to go abroad for mental well being?

Does it matter? People have been travelling since before they were even writing, they drew pictures of it and left evidence. It's not going to stop. Get over it.

nicebreeze · 30/08/2020 12:19

@Aragog

I went on holiday abroad for a fortnight this summer. Quarantine wasn't in lance so I didn't.

Whilst away we were SDing and wearing masks, following hand washing guidelines, spent almost all our time outside even for food, etc. We went by train and we were never sat within 2m if anyone else. When we are out we were never within 2m.

On return we have followed SDing rules and not been out and about a huge amount anyway. It's more than

My trip to France didn't put anyone else at more risk than if I'd had a few meal and drinks out in England.

I've been back for four weeks now and haven't had any form of symptoms, so no one's life was endangered due to me going away.

We needed some time out. We've had four very close family deaths in the past year, 3 during lock down including dh's dad. We've both worked full time throughout, albeit from home mainly. Had we stayed home we'd have worked and not had a complete break.

English holidays were no cheaper and I can't see how it would have lessened the risks any either. We'd also seen the photographs and videos of overcrowded English resorts and decided it wasn't for us. We'd rather go sonewhere quieter and less crowded personally.

The personal benefits of us having a few days completely away from home bad work have been massive. It gave us some much needed time as a family unit and to reflect on what has happened regarding our family much more. We all came back much more refreshed.

You can think what you like but if the guidelines say it's fine to go abroad then I was not wrong to do so.

Unless you also think it's selfish to have day trips, go to a restaurant, visit a local attraction, etc ???

Next week I will be back in front of hundreds of children in unventilated crowded rooms. Not one of them will be at risk from my holiday a month ago.

Sounds like you've had a rough time and needed (and fully deserved!) a break.

Ignore this moral high ground rubbish about going away and enjoy your last few hours of peace 😊

SantaClaritaDiet · 30/08/2020 12:20

yes, because absolutely packed overprices damp UK campsites are a good alternatives Hmm

Holidays are very good (essential even) for most people, and a necessity for your mental health. Others prefer to stick to shops, local soft plays... (reopened btw) and crowded parks. No need to be superior.

When you see how many people are bitter and jealous, they clearly are missing something. I pity them.